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Ralet

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Ralet last won the day on June 23 2013

Ralet had the most liked content!

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About Ralet

  • Rank
    Strong Minded
  • Birthday 02/21/1990

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Germany
  • Interests
    Art, History, Music, Math
  • More About Me
    If there are any deities out there they are free to contact me. Until then I am enjoying my life.

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    No
  1. http://www.kingsklive.com/ "What a waste of talent" was the first thought that came to my mind-Typcial cheesy christian worship lyrics but great music and vocals. I hesitated to download the free album but in the end I thought "why not". I enjoy the music and lyrics are cheesy and senseless most of the time. Art was a long time inspired by religion. All those drawings, paintings and sculptures of gods and goddesses, of maria with baby jesus. All those beautiful churches and cathedrals build to honor god. I enjoy and admire them. I adore the talent of the artists and their way of expression their feels, their uniqueness, without believing in their religious inspiration. Where is the difference to music? Art will always be greater then the inspiration.
  2. Thanks for the replies. Actually all I hope for came true.I am not bitter, angry or sad anymore. I am over it and I am happy. But it was a rough time getting there. On the logical level I knew that everything I believed was wrong and that there is no way to unsee the facts in front of me, but on the other hand there were the feeling of missing out on something greater, losing purpose in life and orientation and the irrational hope that there might still be truth in christianity. Overcoming this mixed feelings took time and a big help in this healing process was this community. The discussions about certain concepts of the bible helped me to firm my believe that the bible is illogical and immoral. The testimonies helped me to understand that I am not alone, that my feelings and thoughts are not crazy,that my doubts are legit and that there is a happy life after deconverting. Thank you all for giving me hope and support.
  3. I found a very emotional "letter to god" that I wrote almost a year ago. It is a little embarrassing and whiny but, I thought I might share it with you, hoping it will help somebody. I will leave out some personal passages. Since I translated it from german there might be some errors. Lord, For many years I was searching for you. How many times have I prayed, begged and cried waiting for a sign or a simple answer? How many different youth groups,churches and events did I visit, even tough I was shy,afraid and felt uncomfortable, just to get to know you more? But every time I felt more lonely and numb. I couldn't fit in and I couldn't hear you. Nothing touched me. How many times have I tried to understand your word and tried to find guidance and comfort in your holy words, just to figure that the bible only contains false promises? ""Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." I asked and I knocked for years and NOTHING happened. No sign, no love, just silence. Don't you want to hear me or cant you hear me because you don't exist? I hear the voices of other Christians:"Maybe your life is too sinful? Maybe you are not trying hard enough? Jesus is already in your life,he never left you. You just have to open your heart." Jesus, you know that my heart cant be more open and that I have tried everything. I don't want to try it anymore. I cant do it anymore. It destroys me. I read the story of the lost son so many times. I was on my way to you, hoping for your open arms. I stand before your door, I see the people inside your house, living a happy life with you. But I cant come in. You wont open the door for me. I wont spend my whole life in front of a closed door. But even if you would open the door for me, I wouldn't want to come inside anymore. It's ironic and sad that while searching for you, I realized that you are not the god of love and forgiveness, like I was taught to believe since I was a little child. You are hateful and revengeful. You give us freewill and let us fall for temptations, knowing that we are never able to pass your test. You create us with faults and you punish us for them. We are responsible for our weaknesses, but for everything good we are ought to thank you. (....) I should thank you for my food, but I am not allowed to blame you for every starving person in the world? Do I deserve it to live? Should I thank you for being lucky? Where is your share in that? Instead I could thank the rain,the sun and the earth for giving me food. "God is responsible for the good things in your life, The devil and your sins are responsible for the bad"- Through this way of thinking, you have destroyed my self-esteem. I was not allowed to celebrate my success and grow,take new risks and rely on my skills. But it was never you, Jesus. You didn't help me. I have to understand that I don't need you and that I have never needed you. I should be proud and happy for the good things and not let the mistakes I made drag me down. I don't want to turn the other cheek anymore and I don't want to forgive everybody. I don't want to over-think everything I did and want anymore.I don't want to feel guilty for the smallest mistakes and thoughts I cannot control. But most of all: I don't want to wait anymore. (...) Are you not answering because I cant believe blindly? Are you punishing me for using my brain, that you supposedly gave me? It's so ridiculous that this affects me so much, It's so ridiculous that I can't think clear for weeks,because my faith in you, my imaginary friend, is fading away. You were never there. You never guided me or anybody else. Even though I feel empty and disorientated now I know my life will be better without your false hopes, ancient rules and my feeling of guilt. I know, one day I will be happy and that I wont be able to even understand the feelings that I am going through right now. That is why I am writing this last prayer:It is not for you, it is for ME. I want closure and I want to leave behind this phase of my life. Since today is Pentecost, I planned to end this with a last request for a sign and your blessing, but after one hour of writing I came to the conclusion:I DON'T NEED YOU. I WILL BE FINE.
  4. November=Depression

  5. Just woke up from a dream in which I told my parents I dont believe in God anymore. It was so realistic and my dreams are never realisticD:

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. JamesG

      JamesG

      something on your mind huh? ;)

    3. Fweethawt

      Fweethawt

      God+dreams=just brain content

    4. Blake

      Blake

      Sounds like maybe you've accepted on a subconscious level that you are ready to tell them? :)

  6. Oral Exam in less than 24h. Panic! Panic! Panic! D:

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. TrueFreedom

      TrueFreedom

      Send some of that mead over here!

    3. JamesG

      JamesG

      Thur I am going to have to confiscate your mead to "test" the quality. Also Ralet GOOOOOD LUCK!!!!!!

    4. Thurisaz
  7. Why is the topic "what is the gospel?" locked?

    1. LifeCycle

      LifeCycle

      It wasn't a discussion. It was one side talking to a scripture bot.

    2. JamesG

      JamesG

      because Floriduh said so and he represents all that is Bertie Wooster goodness!!!!

    3. florduh

      florduh

      There was no meaningful discussion after several pages of Scripture had been quoted. He started another thread and that will probably go bye-bye as well.

  8. presentation tomorrow. D: i hate presentations. i dont know how i can survive the oral exam in two weeks when a little presentation freaks me out already.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. JamesG

      JamesG

      Hmmm not sure how your oral presentation is formatted I assume you have to defend your work? be your own devils advocate and try making a video response to yourself and watch it that always helped me ;)

    3. mymistake

      mymistake

      Pretend there is only one other person in the room. Talk to each person one at a time and then after a few seconds switch to another person in the room.

    4. Galien

      Galien

      Good luck with it, I HATE those things. Just breathe.

  9. Welcome back! We were worried about you.
  10. Divorce is a great metaphor, but i would even describe it as an abusive relationship. You slowly understand that "god" isn't only not right for you, but also manipulating you and destroying your trust in your own abilities( if something good happens in your life, you give him credit for it) and he is something you have to get rid off.At the same time it is heartbreaking and difficult because you love "him" or the idea of him and you are used to live with him.
  11. Ralet

    Genesis Part 1

    Or he liked to watch men suffer. Watch Abel inhale the smell of the delicious grilled lambs, that men weren't allowed to eat. Cains sacrifices hadn't had that effect.
  12. I am reading the OT to remind me how stupid the bible is. I am sharing some comments and questions with you. Let's see how far I get. 1.- 3. Creation God creates stupid humans and punishes them for their desire for knowledge.The proclaimed punishment turns from "though shall surly die" to labor pain, the rule of men over women (3:16), cursed grounds and hard work - well that escalated quickly. After they got kicked out God didn't destroy the now useless (?) tree.Instead he made a cool flaming sword and some poor cherubims are probably still standing there and protecting the tree. 4.- Cain and Abel Cain kills his brother Abel, because his holy daddy likes him more than Cain. God gets super-mad and Cain is worried: "Behold, thou hast driven me out this day from the face of the earth; and from thy face shall I be hid; and I shall be a fugitive and a vagabond in the earth; and it shall come to pass, that every one that findeth me shall slay me." (4:13) Wait,what? Who is Kain afraid of? I though there were just Adam, Eve and his dead brother and probably some baby girls that don't deserve to be mentioned. It gets even more confusing:And the LORD said unto him, Therefore whosoever slayeth Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold. And the LORD set a mark upon Cain, lest any finding him should kill him. What is sevenfold death? Does it mean that six of the killers family members will die, too? Well, the killers family has to be Cains,too. What a comfort to know that if your nephew (which is probably also your brother-in-law) kills you, six other of your incest family die with him. 5. Family tree Good that the bible is inspired by god and we only get useful information from it. 6-8 Giants and the flood From the first verses we learn: sons of god (angels?)+ pretty women= GIANTS. Must be very painful to give birth to them... Why aren't there giants anymore? Are we women not attractive anymore,angels ? So god decides he should reset his creation, but instead of just snapping his fingers and let it happen he need water and Noah has to do a lot of hard work.After reading the flood story I have only one question: What about the giants? I want to know more about them and not on which day the arc landed on a mountain. Why were they mentioned anyway? 9. Food and booze "Everything that lives and moves will be your food. I gave you green plants as food; I now give you everything else." (9:3) WHAT? They weren't allowed to eat meat before the flood? Why was Able a shepherd? And why was his offering better than Cains if sheep were useless to him? In my (german) translation of the bible it says that Noah was the first that planted a vineyard. So before the flood there was no steak and no booze, a lot of incest and a average lifetime of 300-900. That sucks.
  13. perfect final prayer that I (and probably many other ex-chr) can relate to so much

    1. crazyguy123

      crazyguy123

      Thank you for sharing this video. :)

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