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Everything posted by RealityCheck

  1. The thought of the biblical god being real is one of those thoughts that can drive me to instant depression.
  2. The problem is, God would know your thoughts so laying low wouldn't fool him.
  3. Well, since I couldn't exactly hide my thoughts and feeling from this monstrous, disgusting entity and would be hellhound anyways. Why not?
  4. I still get people who come to my workplace while coughing and hacking all over the place just for some trivial non essential item. In one instances, someone coughed and I could feel a droplet land on my face. I had to immediately run to the back and hose myself off. I do wear a mask though but some of our customers are starting to wear thin on my patience. I am one of the managers though and have the authority to kick people out if they get out of line.
  5. I remember skits done during Halloween (targeted at kids of course) where they took you through one room after another depicting scenes of these teens ending up in hell. It was kind of unnerving to me and I was well into adulthood when I first saw that. Yeah, it's child abuse...
  6. Telling a child, someone with a lifetime of potential ahead of them that they're nothing but depraved sinners is the epitome of child abuse. I think the testimonies of the members of this site can attest to that fact.
  7. I don't understand why religions consider women as inferior to men (at least in the Abrahamic ones) condemning them to the background of their society. You would think that having that having the other 50% of the population engaged in spreading the god virus would be to the religion's benefit. The god virus does however mutate and allows for the inclusion of women in leadership positions in the modern world despite scripture. Unfortunately, that's no comfort to many of you ladies who've had your self esteem torn down over the years. The good news is, I've had many female friends here who've escaped that chain of self limitation imposed by their church and forged their own path.
  8. I wish I could say these episodes were strictly due to my deconversion. I'm not proud of many of the things I've said in the name of politics or other ideological differences. There are a whole string of alienated friends who I will never recover.
  9. It's been a coupe of months since my last update, I figured I would fill everyone on current happenings. Something that I deemed a lost cause occurred, I've shared this with some of you one on one but I've never made a post about it. When I first deconverted 7 1/2 years ago, I had an atheist friend who'm I could be as open and intellectually honest about any topic. The taste of mental freedom that she gave me was a major factor towards my loss of faith and for that I'll always be grateful. However, due to the the worst aspects of my nature (that many of you no doubt have experienced) combined with my "angry atheist" phase drove her away and she never wanted to speak to me again. She is a resolute person and this was all but inevitable and final. Though I got over it and moved on to other like minded individuals, it is something that had lingered in the back of my conscience for years. Due to some unlikely circumstances, I was in fact able to reconnect with her and slowly start to rebuild that friendship. I will say, forgiveness by someone you care about especially years after it weighing on you feels much better than what god ever offered when confessing my "sins". The message I want to get across is hold yourself to a higher standard in how you treat people you care about. You may not get the same opportunity that I did and it's easy to lash out at everyone when you're in an angry period in your life. I look in disgust at the type of person that I've been over the last few years, seeking conflict just for the sake of conflict, being unyielding in my views. Inner peace has taken over since I've abandoned that. Furthermore, I've discovered that life seems more meaningful when I help others. It doesn't have to be some grand cause or anything, small acts of kindness here and there. These can be listening to someone and give advice while sticking with them through a difficult period. It can also be using your abilities and talents to help them and in term, they will help you. This is the way it should be, it is far more fulfilling than coming home from work and just indulge in selfish pleasures/pursuit night after night. Maybe I'm just incoherently typing sentences at this point so I think I'll stop. This is where my life and thoughts are at the moment.
  10. I wouldn't call them idiots, some of them have had an interesting life. Then they get down there and just give up.
  11. If you spent any time down there, then you are aware of the condition called the "Keys Disease". For those not familiar, it is when people become too comfortable with island living and lose all motivation or desire for intellectual pursuits. In this regard, my peers were some of the most "diseased" people you could ever meet. This was a type of hell that I had to endure for several years and my only reprieve was a bi-annual vacation out of there. Now that I'm back on the mainland, there is this energy around me because everyone is trying to accomplish something and/or better themselves.
  12. It just occurred to me that I never bothered messaging an admin to delete my profile. I'm not fully returning to this site, however I've decided to keep my account and just give everyone periodic updates. Many changes have occurred since my last post. In the beginning of September, I found out that I had to move out of the building I was living in down in the FL Keys. The reason behind this requires it's own post but in a nutshell, I had to find another place to live and fast. Rather than signing a lease and remaining in that small, toxic town, I decided it was time to move on. As many of you know, I was down there helping my parents out and couldn't leave my mother behind after the passing of my dad. However, I was only enabling her, she became lazy and unable to hold a job since she knew I would cover the bills. I had to make the decision to let her be and now she has been forced to change her ways out of necessity. That, combined with my own fear of leaving that town was stifling me so this displacement as been a blessing (not the best term to use in an Ex-Christian site I know). I now live in the Raleigh area in North Carolina, I've made some rather bad choices in the last 10 years but this is NOT one of them. I can't describe the way that I feel right now, for years I thought that I damaged my life beyond repair, that my chance to escape a mediocre existence was over. It's like I've been sent a decade into the past with my current knowledge to fix my mistakes. The door of opportunity that I thought shut behind me has been hacked back open. Now that I am back in the "real world", I have the benefit of not wasting my time with religion or the church. Everything is going to be about my own self improvement. Ironically, I am living with a roommate who was part of that Christian friend circle from back in the day but is now also an atheist. Another major change that I've made is abandoning all political groups. Politics has nothing to offer me aside from having me dislike people that I would normally get along with. It is hate just for the sake of hating. And for what? For a politician that is likely to break all promises and run business as usual as elected? It's insanity, people doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. I have replaced this with an open mind and a willingness to engage with as many people with diverse views as possible. On top of that, I actively go out and socialize right now, I would just rather have fun than be angry just for the sake of being angry. Finally, I am working with a career counselor and putting significant effort into improving my career situation. I spend most of my waking hours at work, if that time is negative then it will undermine everything else. If this endeavor bears any fruit then I will let everyone know. That's all for now, again this is just an update on my life for anyone that cares.
  13. Well, which mod wants to do the deed and delete my profile?
  14. Also, I wish I could go back to 2012, before the filthy politics crept into the atheist community. Back then, the only time politics were mentioned was when Christians were trying to undermine the separation of church and state. The specter of social justice or left vs right wasn't really upon us and if present, was nothing but faint background noise. Of course, one cannot rewind back the clock in such a manner unless you had the power to put every atom, every particle, and every quantum state exactly where they were 7 years ago. There is one particular person, the very first atheist friend I had, even before I joined this site who I would not lose with careless words. She played a vital role in severing that last bit of attachment to my faith and hence how I started this journey. I drove her away with careless words unfortunately and I would have chosen them much better with my current wisdom. Hell, there are many people I drove away but now I see that it was an inevitable consequence of my personality and their personality. It was a rocky start indeed but still, I was at peace in the greater community then far more than I am now.
  15. I'm probably drawing this out more than necessary but I might as well get everything off my chest now while I still can. One thing that Ex-C has also taught me is that there is an immutable aspect of my nature. It is not in me to be a neutral, agreeable, moderate individual. Though I can suppress that for extended periods of time, eventually the polarizing side of me always wins. I have fought this for years and every time this has caused me to emotionally hurt someone, I've looked at myself with disgust. I don't have the energy to fight it anymore and thus, I choose to accept and embrace it. Because of that potential that still lies inside of me, the most caring action I can take is removing myself from the equation. The "tribe" that I mentioned in an earlier comment are people who can accept and work with that aspect of myself.
  16. @ag_NO_stic there isn't much I can say to your post that I haven't said in our last two years of conversations. I can agree with much of what you've said. It seems that you have also moved on from this website and are forging your own path. I'd like every new member (or lurker) reading this to take note, this fierce mental independence and resilience should be your end goal. Beware of dogmatic ideas that are no better than the religion you just left behind. Do not be emotionally dependent on the group, sure you can have friends but learn to stand on your own if necessary. Your mind is yours and yours alone.
  17. If someone makes their whole life about Jesus for example, is it possible to have a relationship with them? Do you really want to be around a person who brings up religion constantly? I certainly don't. This is also applicable to individuals who bring up racism, sexism, patriarchy, etc every other conversation. When a person's identity is tied to their ideology to such an extreme, ideas that are intellectually repugnant in my opinion, there can't be a normal relationship. It's like being around an alcoholic, sometimes they're normal but most of the time they're drunk and unruly. To be fair, a good portion of the members here are moderates but the overall climate leans left.
  18. I'm still here for a bit longer till I reply to some messages that I've been sent and wrap up all conversations. I understand that the recovery cycle is different for everyone. However, my personal advice is be aware of when each step of the process ends and you're ready to move on to the next. I wen't through an angry phase for example where I bashed Christianity and started many arguments/debates because of that anger. Eventually, I reached a point where I wasn't compelled to do that anymore because those feelings subsided but still did it anyways because I wanted approval and acceptance from my atheist community. Do not fall into that trap, it will impede your progress. Do not rehash that which you have moved on from. Most importantly, do not trade one set of dogmas for another, you will find many atheist hold on to other ideologies with the same adherence as they did religion. That's all I can say, good luck to both of you and thank you for those responses.
  19. This post has been a long time coming, I feel it to be a necessity in order for me to truly move on. I joined this site June of 2013 and it served as a new community after severing ties with my church circles. Over time, I've talked to some incredible people, some I've had the privilege of meeting in person. I've even found relationships here, twice, something that I didn't expect from a forum of this nature. That's not to say that I've gotten along with everyone but that's inevitable when you gather many individuals with separate life experiences all in one place. Many who were with me on this journey are now long gone from the site and thus, perhaps it's time I follow in their footsteps. There are several reasons why I'm choosing this route. I see this site as a sort of medicine, a kind or treatment for people who have been negatively affected by Christianity. I'm at the point where I hardly think about it in a daily basis, the days where I was a church drone are in the distant past now as well as any residual emotions that came along with them. I think it is safe to say that I have completed the recovery cycle and have moved on to other things, other groups, other interests, etc. There is no sense in continuing to take the medicine if you aren't afflicted with the condition it was intended to heal. There is nothing more that I can gain from this site or contribute. Sure, I might encourage new non believers here every once in a while but there are those here who feel more passionate about it and thus will do a much better job than me. On top of this, an ideological rift has formed between me and the majority of the members here. I don't think these differences are reconcilable, the tribal nature of humanity precludes that from ever happening. I suppose that I've found my tribe elsewhere at this point. I would like to thank everyone who recently commented on the thread where my father passed away. I much appreciate the advice and encouragement. The same goes for everyone who is still reading me and have done the same in other instances. Right now I will reach out and say my goodbyes to some of the members here via PM. Once they all reply, I will ask Margee or one of the mods to permanently delete my profile. Anyways, that is all I have to say for now.
  20. I burned my bible while taking the lord's name in vein. To those of you on the fence, try this, you will see that god will neither strike you down or give a damn because he doesn't exists.
  21. There is nothing worse for mental illness than adding religion to the mix. I have some breathtakingly infuriating stories from my church telling it's members to get off their meds and avoid proper treatment which I've posted in other pasts of the forums. It's seems you can't communicate about this issue with your parents without their toxic Christian indoctrination. Do you have anyone else you can talk or other means of seeking help while you're back with them?
  22. People change, sometimes for the better and sometimes for worse. 20+ years will make a girl that you once fell in love with utterly unrecognizable, this is especially true if she's been infected by the god virus and possibly traumatized due to a horrible marriage. The past is something that's best put away, you're sacrificing romantic possibilities in the present for someone that for all intents and purposes is gone. The most amazing women in my life didn't show up till I was past 30 and I look at the people from high school with complete indifference now.
  23. Later in the bible, you'll find verses (Ezekiel 18:20) stating that the child shall not pay for the sins of the father. Not that it matters though as the whole book is one contradiction after another as anyone who's even casually studied it knows. The original writers of Genesis just needed a reason to state that we had a built in defect. Without this, they couldn't sell us their solution (atonement for sins) so thus, the concept of our sinful nature would have taken root. Christianity wouldn't have survived with the fear of hell dangling over it's believers and you will find that other successful religions tend to have some sort of punishment in the afterlife for not adhering to their rules.
  24. There is a new development now, that is my mother is starting to lose her mind. She claimed that my dad came and visited her today, she felt "a heavy presence" upon here. So yeah, something else for me to worry about.
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