Hey all, I've kinda been lurking around this forum for the better part of a year. I'm glad to say i found a lot of encouraging material. I'm glad to finally introduce myself. Anyway, my name's CJ, i'm 18 years old, and I've been raised Christian for all my life. Not normal, moderate Christian, but full on fundy Calvinism Christian. I've been homeschooled for my whole life. I've lived in an incredibly isolated environment, free from the influence of the outside world. I happen to be an only child, so my parents see me as their only shot at carrying on their faith. My parents weren't always this way; from what i know, they both became Christians around their 20's. Gradually, they became more radical. When i was born, they were convinced that they should homeschool me. Even though my few relatives tried to talk them out of it, they, of course didn't listen. They were in an ultra-conservative Baptist Church. I've been attending church every Sunday since i was a baby. Well, needless to say, my childhood was really lonely and i dont remember much of it. I did have a few friends, and i had some good times. My parents kept me under the closest tabs possible, but you don't want to hear all my sob stories .One thing i vividly remember was developing OCD. I lived in the hell that it creates for a few years; too afraid to tell anyone. I was actually blissfully ignorant of what i was going through for a good amount of my childhood. Around the time i was hitting my teens, the parents changed churches, and informed me that they were now Calvinists. I suppose this was maybe the first time the tiniest seeds of doubt were sowed in my young, damaged mind. I knew something wasn't quite right. I was told that Calvinism was the true doctrine, that Arminianism was a perversion of the scriptures. Of course i didnt understand, because there were plenty of verses that seemed to fit both doctrines. Anyhow, this Church was one of the Quiverfull " fuck your wife til she bleeds and have as many kids as possible" kind of churches. I still strongly believed during this time, but i realized that these people were pretty radical, and i really didnt want to be around them. After about 2 years, the church broke up. I was relieved to be out if it. So we switched churches again, by this time i was just turning 16. This was when i really started to think for myself. I spent the next 2 years getting where i am today. A proud, confident Athiest . My faith didn't exactly die easily, but once i saw the overwhelming evidence against creation, a young earth, the inerrancy of the Bible and all the other lies, it wasn't hard to deconvert. It was reallly liberating, it all seemed almost too good to be true . I no longer had to believe almost everyone i met was going to burn in hell for all eternity. I could accept people for who they really were without trying change them .Anyhow, this brings me to the second part of my story. Once i decided i no longer believed, I was of course, afraid that my parents might find out. I hid my beliefs for as long as possible, but through a series of events that i wont go into. They sat me down, and forced me into telling them. My mom flipped out and cried and screamed at me, my dad was a little more calm. I tried my best to explain to them why i no longer accepted their religion as fact. It only ended in my mom hurling as many accusations as possible. I knew it would happen, i was half expecting them to kick me out. Fortunately, we came to an agreement, i'm really hoping it lasts.....but i cant be sure. In summary, my head is up, i know that things will only get better for me from here. I've got my whole life ahead of me, so i try to just lay the past to rest. Thanks for listening to my story guys, I look forward to meeting you all.