WaitingInfinity

"A Christian Analysis of the Loss of Robin Williams" was recently posted on Facebook by a relative. http://www.onenewsnow.com/perspectives/bryan-fischer/2014/08/13/a-christian-analysis-of-the-loss-of-robin-williams Barf.

I saw this lovely thing today. BARF. ^^^ Today my creationist cousin tagged me and a bunch of other people in a link to an Answers from Genesis (red flashing light alert) article about why God allows suffering. I read it. The author was a doctor who left doctoring(?) to become a full time creationist ministries guy. Obviously this guy knows a lot about science. The article had a rather simplistic and incomplete understanding of evolution (as molecules "somehow" coming together to make organisms). It also presented the problem of morality from evolution and (of course) took a Biblical literalist position. I prepared a nice little response about how the author left out the idea that perhaps the creation stories were mythology and that the author didn't cause me to trust his authority on evolution. After my boyfriend convinced me that it would probably create a fuckload of drama within my creationist family and that they would not listen to what I was saying anyways, I decided not to post it and merely untagged myself. My creationist family piled on the likes. Then my cousin liked the Creation Museum's page.

Hello, Zephie! I don't believe we have met on here before. I'm WaitingInfinity. I've been on here for a year now, so we must just have missed each other. It seems like you've been on quite an adventure, making discoveries about yourself and having found some peace in some previously anger-inducting things. And now you're back to continue up the path of deconversion! Welcome back.

Sit back and put your feet up for a bit. I remember my deconversion was exhausting as hell. You're no longer burdened by those stuffy rules and the concepts that don't make sense (looking at you Trinity). You've got a whole new world to explore now. This is only the beginning.

You must feel very torn between your family's feelings and how you personally feel about religion. Your husband seems to have taken it very lovingly, which is graceful of him. But you both seem to acknowledge this new thing between the both of you that makes your relationship different than before. That acknowledgement is healthy, for ignoring it would be even worse. I would second finding a neutral marriage therapist for both of you. This may help you to continue to grow in empathy for each other--something you definitely want. They can also facilitate communication about the pertinent issues of religion, perhaps reducing the pain of the conversation. I know there's a book or two out there about couples in interfaith marriages. Maybe you could both look into reading that? I remember when my boyfriend and I were an interfaith couple. I remember wanting him to convert back to Christianity more than anything, but I also remember I didn't want to push him away by pestering him about it and he felt the same. We made sure to be open about our beliefs, but we often had to agree to disagree when talking about certain subjects. I saw him as more than an agnostic. I saw him as the man I love. When I think on it, we stayed together because we loved each other more than our religions. It took my own personal journey into atheism a year later before I realized that I had been duped by Christianity. Granted, we are younger and have no kids, so this situation is not nearly as complex and sensitive as your own. I like what Margee said best. Be the you that you've always been. Religion/lack of religion does not have to define you. Be as pleasant and humorous and nurturing as you were before the deconversion. Your personality has not changed. Grow in confidence with who you are. You don't have to give your kids atheist books per se, but instill in them the ability to be inquisitive and curious. And don't let this stop you from talking with your husband.

Bomb

The above got messed up and became undeletable. bfuddled: "They didn't plug the whole "It's your wifely duty" line about having sex when you don't want to but your husband does, but they did say that we should pray for God to make us willing to have sex for our husband's edification. There was also a freaky suggestion to envision Jesus by the side of the bed when you're having sex. Somehow it was connected to it being a "holy and pleasing act" and the Jesus would want to be there??" Well that's scary. And a turn off. Jesus wants to see your orgasm face.

A girl from my former Christian university just died of leukemia. I didn't know her very well but she was in my group in my bible class for a bit. When she was diagnosed, she was prayed for massively by the entire school. They did a whole chapel dedicated to her, sent her notes, we received email updates and prayer urgings. She just died and oh, the cognitive dissonance. People posting that she is healed in the arms of the Savior, that she is watching Jesus make the sun rise, that she is in a better place. That they are praying for her family and even if they don't understand that they trust in God's reasons. I scrolled back to comments people made on her FB before her death. They were talking about their prayers and how they knew God was gonna beat it, how they trusted God to beat it. My first thought is that it's a terrible thing that she had to die so young. She had a fiancee, she was beautiful and smart and probably would have done great contributions to society. My second thought is that why would you continue to trust this God? Why would you think he would help her family when he didn't help her? It is infuriating and sad that this is happening around her death. If the prayers of an entire school and her family didn't influence God, then what would?

http://thejesuschick.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/atheist-view.jpg My roommate had this up on her Facebook today and I caught a glimpse of it before going off to look it up on my own. It's stupid. It's just Christians making themselves feel better than all those degenerate selfish sinners.