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DanForsman last won the day on August 20

DanForsman had the most liked content!

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About DanForsman

  • Rank
    Strong Minded

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  • Location
    San Francisco East Bay
  • Interests
    hiking/walking, vegan diet, smaller houses and less stuff, sustainable world population size, economy not built on growth
  • More About Me
    I am looking for something meaningful to focus on in retirement. I value independent thought and believe that world peace is an achievable goal.

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    No thanks; I have had enough now.

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  1. So was it just a compilation of these peripheral issues that was enough for you to deconvert or did you also directly confront whether the bible and christianity were true and find that lacking before you deconverted. I believe Krowb is saying that a majority deconvert on the strength of mistreatment or other negative experiences within the church being the primary or even sole reason for deconverting. Was this more or less the case for you?
  2. I don't think the majority had a problem with the church that made them leave. If you were to read the hundred+ testimonials on this site you will find most like you ran into a question or two that bothered them and caused them to look outside sanctioned sources. Often they are hurt by the reaction of church friends or family who they discover were conditional friends after they confess that they have deconverted. Also if something within the church or congregation caused hurt or suffering that frequently becomes an impitus to look more closely at the foundation of their faith which is found w
  3. Welcome CherryTreeLane. I'm glad you are now able to trust your own reason. It is a shame that parents get trapped in religion and worse that their church actively pushes them to exert mind control and fear techniques to force beliefs onto their children. It's just wrong that this continues to be tolerated by our society but the pressure is there because converting church members' children to members is the primary and most successful tool churches have for obtaining new members. As MOHO said good for you on freeing yourself from the trap. That is no small task! OK. No pressure here bu
  4. Me too. I wonder what she believes and if the two of you still discuss those problem areas in christianity.
  5. I'm in agreement with the idea that you need to find joy in your own life first. What is the alternative? Expecting to find a partner to put your life together for you is probably not even doable although a lot of old Disney movies and romantic films might give you the impression that it is. People are drawn to people who seem to know themselves and what they want. You're only 20 which means that probably your best dating opportunities are ahead of you. As we move on from adolescence potential partners start to appreciate more basic everyday abilities in other people and many young people who
  6. Reading all these things you've written here make me wonder if you are willing to let yourself be happy with what you have. You had all those years where self deprivation was fundamental to your identity and the key to your self satisfaction. You have let that sexual deprivation go but characterize yourself as having turned you back on your christian god and become the prodigal son. You say you await a future of either your return to Christianity and repentance for your present behaviors or eternal torture in hell with family and friends. That seems like a very heavy load to have to drag aroun
  7. Actually you are the only one making a claim. To say, "How do you know that is true" is not a claim. Even to say "I won't believe what you're saying without good evidence" or "I don't find the evidence you presented to be compelling" is not a claim. Someone needs to go at least as far as to say there are no supernatural entities before you get a claim. I think this is why the definition of atheist was extended to include believes no gods exist be Meridian if I remember right because nothing in the word atheist (a being a commonly used prefix meaning not) would indicate a position of knowing th
  8. What happens with christians when they adopt the christian life and they're still not perfect......a bad person, a "SINNNNNERRRR".
  9. Losing your faith and probably all or most of your church community AND your marriage is really a lot to process. Don't be too hard on yourself if your grieving and recovery takes longer than you think it should or you feel like you have setbacks in the way you are processing all this. Everyone is different and trying circumstances that are apparently easy for some people to work through and move on from can effect others much more deeply. Two years may be too little time for you to process all these changes. If I were you I would be not afraid that a good resolution would not come but rather
  10. I was brought up from birth in a strong, practicing, bible reading family but was nevertheless running into serious difficulty sometime around 4. I suspect the biggest issue is probably a genetic inclination to use an altered reasoning whenever confronted by cognitive dissonance. I think this inclination may well have resulted from natural selection as those people most able to associate closely with a group (irregardless of how immoral or ruthless) had a much greater chance of survival in the wild and later primative cultures. (This idea is somewhat supported by the fact that special preferen
  11. It isn't a simple one size fits all when it comes to abandoning or losing one's faith. There are a number of common themes you can find here on our site. Some do leave as McDowell claims over wanting to free themselves from christian morality (think premarital and/or LGBT guilt free sex for examples), some leave due to a search for the truest possible christianity (that perfect denomination) which leads them down a rabbit hole, some become completely disillusioned because of hell with its monumental immorality of eternal punishment for a crime so disproportionately small (Hell creates a sadism
  12. These freakish happenings seem to grab all the attention but it's the other 99+% of your life that truly deserves the focus. Why not put your attention on what is mostly your life where your efforts will almost certainly reap big rewards.
  13. You are crossing a minefield with your "deconversion" and your transgender admissions so you do want to be kind to yourself and if possible locate and befriend some nice person who is going through similar trying situations in at least one of those difficult areas. Finding more than one like minded or at least similarly minded person would be even better, if possible. Having reasonable thoughts and questions that are treated by everyone in your circle as unreasonable and possibly even evil will wear on you no matter how stable your state of mind. You could check the Recovering From Religion we
  14. "The Old Testament is the original Hebrew Bible, the sacred scriptures of the Jewish faith, written at different times between about 1200 and 165 BC." So even christians can be confident that those with an ability to write and an interest in recording noteworthy events were on hand when the resurrection took place. Quote is from: https://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/religions/christianity/texts/bible.shtml Interestingly the same source says the new testament was written between 50 and 100 AD which would put a gap between Jesus's astonishing resurrection from the dead and the first ex
  15. And to think that someone would come back to life after being killed in a public execution and then show themselves for inspection to either a handful of people or hundreds but no one bothers to write about this astounding feat for at least 30 years! Not even one historian other than the anonymous bible writers mentions Jesus coming back to life other than the highly suspect single probable three or four word forgery added to a Josephus historical record. So really nothing outside the bible which was not begun until decades after this astonishing event supposedly occurred.
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