TheRedneckProfessor

Try not toilet it bother you too much. It anus bad as it seems.

You could get a rendering of The Ass-ention into Heaven. Butt I'd find a really good artist if I were you.

And we both know that we both know that only a god can kill another god. Besides which, asking for proof eschews belief; and I'd hate to already have to play the No True Scotsman card on you so soon into your return to beLIEving.

Technically, the gospels only indicate that the Romans crucified jesus. They don't specify who it was as actually done the hammering. Since it is a proven and accepted mythological fact that only a god can kill another god, and since Thor is the god with the hammer, then it is only logical to conclude that the god who got nailed, must have done so by the god who got hammered. See? Logic trumps religion every time.

jesus got nailed to a cross; Thor carries a big ass hammer. Coincidence? I don't think so.

Well, we can all live in hope for one reason or another.

Congrats, dude.

There is a difference between a law and a principle. A law is set in stone by some higher authority, be it a god or a society, and may be based on a principle, such as, "you will not kill." Principles are more fluid. Again, "You will not kill" is a good principle; but there are times when killing might be necessary to prevent worse. Objectivity and emotion (or belief) could both play a role in the breaking of this principle, as well as any laws associated with it. This is why there can be no "objective morality". Life, such as it is, affords us too many situations in which our principles need to be sacrificed, revisited, changed, or called into question. There are a few scenarios that can be seen in black and white; everything else is grey.

Unless it's just for entertainment value, the debate really doesn't interest me. Even if there was definitive proof of a historical jesus, it wouldn't change the length of my commute, the length of my life, or the length of my cock.

The very first story in the bible is a stern warning against seeking knowledge.

If I were going to Rome, I'd go to Bosnia instead.

god's Mighty Plan for Salvation makes it pretty clear that god does not understand us either. Therefore, he is in no position to judge us.

jesus is clearly none of these either.

"They should have paid attention to the flight safety instructions (bible) that the flight attendant (jesus) gave them from the very beginning of the flight. Fucking grace and relationships, assholes." ~End3

I suppose the church is like when a plane crashes and there are a few survivors. The rescuers stand at the door of the plane and yell out, "This way! Everybody come this way!" But the survivors are all confused and most can't even get their seatbelts off. The rescuers eventually get fed up and walk away, thinking, "Those assholes didn't want to be saved; fuck them."