TheRedneckProfessor

Anyway, I know some mention has already been made about lashing out and fear wearing masks, so, could you deal with that so I can move you from the angry column in my brain?

I get the overall impression that Swirling Eddie resents many parts of god's plan, possibly even the bulk of it; but feels more-or-less trapped by the ideas that a). there is a god, b). that god must be everything, and c). that god must have a divine destiny mapped out for everything and everyone since it's all part of him anyway. It seems sometimes like he's trying to defend, even justify, a plan he greatly disagrees with. I know that feeling all too well... For me, it eventually became plain that god never had a plan for any of us; perhaps the same will eventually happen for ed.

Hell is too severe; but childhood rape is all just part of god's plan.

Yes... ice cream. That will make a life of sexual slavery and brutal atrocity worthwhile. god is good.

The "god as a loving father" idea is one of the main problems I have with christianity. It simply doesn't work. At all. god allows things to happen to his children that I never would allow for my own. And I felt that way even before I had kids. If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! Matthew 7:11 I would never allow one of my kids to be sold into sexual slavery and brutally raped on a daily basis. But god does it without even a second thought; and not just one or two of his children, but tens of thousands of them. And how many of those children have asked him to be delivered from their tribulation? YET HE HAS THE BALLS TO CALL ME EVIL! Just who the hell does he think he is? Not my father, that's for sure.

But he's not in denial, or anything.

Yes. My question was asked "tongue in cheek," as it were.

Why did god create celiac disease to begin with?

I want to speak with your manager, Karen.

Well, I won't belabor the point.

Understandable. When I was a believer, I wanted all the answers handed to me, too. The reason it was so difficult to admit that you're just making shit up as you go along is because doing so leaves you vulnerable to the realisation that your entire worldview is predicated on myths, fairy tales, and flights of fancy. Such realisation could very well bring about the destruction of everything you've ever thought you believed in, and the disillusionment that would come with it. Making shit up is your subconscious mind's straw-grasping attempt at preventing that from happening. It is, essentially, an unconscious fear; and your mind disguises it at "reason", "logic", "making the pieces fit". It is, incidentally, the same reason you get angry and lash out when we persist in asking the hard questions; anger is another mask that fear wears. I have been where you are now, as have most of the others on this website. I remember quite well the tricks my own mind played on me. It took 4 brutal years for me to finally see said tricks for what they are. I would not wish the experience on anyone; and I certainly feel for you as you seem like a good person. Nevertheless, accept it for what it is; or... Cue denial in 3...2...

I'm not sure how to ask it any more directly than I have been; but I'll try. Why was it so hard for you to admit that you're just making shit up as you go along? Listen, son, this isn't rocket surgery, here. Either you genuinely don't know, in which case, I can tell you (and you can deny it); or you do know but don't want to admit it to yourself.

Okay. Read the question and try to understand what it is I am actually trying to ask you, what I'm trying to get you to think about: What was it so hard for you to admit that you're just making shit up as you go along?

That's nice. Why was it so hard to admit that you're just making shit up as you go along?

So, now that you've had some time to think about it, why was it so hard for you to admit that you're just making shit up?