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Everything posted by Insightful

  1. Hey TABA - I totally hear you about being at a church where you can be anonymous while deconstructing - that was super helpful in my case. We attend an Evangelical Free Church - which is basically baptist with a band and a coffee shop. Even though it's less ideal than the mass you describe, at least it large and we can just drop in and then take off... I'm glad that "no church attendance" has been a silver lining to the pandemic for both of us.
  2. Hey TABA - we are unequally yoked and have stopped attending since mid March. I won't lie - it's been amazing. Sundays are so restful, peaceful, and enjoyable. I really dont think my wife misses it at all - but she'd never say so. I have no idea what will happen when things start to improve with covid. I would be a good sport and go back with her - but I'm hoping we never return... How about you?
  3. It's fascinating to me the number of situations in which two scenarios could have been possible - a scenario that could ONLY have been possible if God/the Bible were true (we'll call these "scenario 1") OR the scenario one would expect if God/the Bible WEREN'T TRUE ("Scenario 2"). In each instance, we always find the second scenario to be how things actually are, yet there exists a Christian doctrine to explain why reality is this "unexpected way"... For example, given divine inspiration of scripture, there are 2 possibilities of how reality could have been regarding divine PRESE
  4. Thanks for sharing... And Welcome! I'm sorry for all that you endured - especially all of the judgment for leaving an obviously unhealthy marriage. I, too, first lost faith in Providence. I always believed IN SPITE of all of the mounting inconsistencies i kept observing within the Bible and between the Bible and reality. But I chose to keep trusting despite my doubts. Once my faith in providence crumbled, i no longer had reason to rationalize away my doubts in order to sustain belief... I am a happy agnostic - fortunate to not be angry. Something that helps me not
  5. Well written! Sorry you didn't receive any replies back in November. Thx for sharing
  6. Welcome ZP! Thanks for sharing your story. Glad that you are finding your way - sounds like you have a strong, clear mind.
  7. Totally! I still miss the music - and I've been out for seven years... Granted that some of it is really bad music, I still long for the songs that I grew up with - either because I like them musically, or they bring back good feelings and memories. I still listen to some of my old favorites every now and then. Just a couple of days ago, I was making breakfast and wanting to listen to "Colored People" by DC Talk - so I pulled it up on You Tube. And I still really like the Beyond Belief album from Petra. I wore out 2 cassettes of that album as a teenager, listening to it hundr
  8. Wow - that's crazy. I wish his ignorant defiance didn't cost him his life... Hopefully others will observe and learn, though, sadly, probably not. Thx for passing that along.
  9. I get what you're saying - as a former Christian myself, I have definitely seen my regard for women change (improve) dramatically post-deconversion. Seeing the way that bibical ideas harm women makes me want to, all the more, make sure that the women in my life (and in the world) are treated justly and equally.
  10. And... 30 minutes ago the governor of Florida just declared that religious gatherings are exempt from the stay-at-home order because they are "essential". Just. Wow. No words.
  11. From an outsider's perspective, it is quite fascinating. One of the very main practices of Christianity is gathering together. And, due to the coronavirus outbreak, they will not be able to gather in churches on their most holy day - Easter Sunday. If I were a believer still, this would have caused me to doubt God's existence. Why would he allow the events of the universe to result in Christians NOT getting to go to church for a couple of months, including EASTER of all days?!! I wonder what they will say... maybe they will praise the advent of the technology that enables t
  12. ^This!! At least for me. I'm married to a believer as well and for the first 2 years, i thought she was angry because of my BELIEFS, but it was the impact on her social life that was the main issue... It's awkward/shameful in that world being the one married to the unbeliever...
  13. Welcome Leia! Becoming a father of two daughters made me a feminist as well. Is NIFB a nondenom independednt fundamentalist baptist?
  14. Hey now, I was taught in my charismatic Sunday School that circumscribed pentagrams are a no no.... =p
  15. This idea reminds me of Eccl 9:10, my favorite book of the Bible as a non-Chistian... (and Margee's too =)) "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom."
  16. I'm so glad you found someone to share your life with - someone your brain chose. I love that. Thanks for your post!
  17. Thanks Citsonga - great article and very insightful.
  18. Hey cb1500 - As a fellow anxiety disordered person, i feel your pain and Im sorry you are going through this. One thought, from experience - the things that you're worried about about right now and Afraid about right now might actually be the fruit of anxiety in your life and not the cause of it. Anxiety likes to find a place to take hold and run amok. When our Baseline anxiety is elevated it will manifest in ways like this - perseverating on a certain line of thought or idea. When we feel anxious we are feeling out of control and overwhelmed with uncertai
  19. Thanks RNP - that's a great example my temptation is to say "Sorry you didnt get the position", but it looks like you made peace with it quickly. You have a fantastic outlook/perspective. Thx for sharing.
  20. Thanks Margee! I totally agree - Ecclesiastes is on to something... Thank you for the encouragement and reminder to change it up / break out of the rut. I really appreciate it.
  21. Thank you so much Redneck Prof - You hit the nail on the head 1,000%. YES - I definitely still carry with me an expectation of a bigger than normal life and in fact I've spent the last 6 years moving from one Quest to another that was supposed to elevate my fairly average existence into something incredible / bigger / great / more. As Christians, my wife and I started adopting orphans and my goal was to adopt 8. Even as an ex Christian, I still wanted to continue the quest as a good humanist. Having two kids was so normal and boring and not exemplary and not an ex
  22. Thanks TABA - I really appreciate the perspective/advice/thoughts! Being thankful is a great place to start And i love stoic philosophy - I will get myself thinking rightly again.
  23. I left evangelical Christianity 6 years ago and, once the dust settled, I became quite happy with myself and my life. I enjoyed some very successful years in my career and derived a lot of joy and satisfaction from my work. Family, although difficult (both marriage and parenting), has also generally been a source of much joy. In the past couple of months everything has become more difficult in my life. Nothing tragic but but I'm stuck in a rut in my career working harder than ever while income has gone down some. My marriage has gotten harder in many ways and and parenting has co
  24. Hi Kd - I really feel for you right now - you seem SUPER conflicted and anxious. The best advice I can give you for this moment in your life is: IT IS OK TO "NOT KNOW" We so desperately want to resolve the conflict because it is uncomfortable. EMBRACE the uncertainty you feel right now and don't force a resolution. Allow the conflicting "truths" in your mind to coexist. Time will allow you to untangle the jumble. For now, just get to know your jumble and hold it without the urge to untangle it. Allow "not knowing" to be a PEAC
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