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moanareina last won the day on October 4 2014

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About moanareina

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    Life, art, poetry, people, traveling, science, whatever. Finding likeminded people.
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    Hm...at the moment I am 36 years old and out of christianity for about 6 years. It was a huge step for me, radical though, the detoxing as I call it was a process and is still going on. At the moment I came to the conclusion, that I will always be different to people who grew up atheist and thats why I am here :-). I live in Switzerland in a small and cute village. While I work an undemanding job, I am getting my so called maturity paper in case I decide to go to university. Thats a result of my christian upbringing that tought me not to know myself...so I still wonder what I might become when I grow up. I don't consider myself an atheist and am open to spirituality, though I only follow whats on my heart. No weird believes, no gurus no spiritual leaders etc.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    None I could name
  1. Loneliness is knocking on my door all the weekend...not so cool. So far I managed not to open the door though...

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. directionless


      Good luck with the p :)

    3. moanareina


      Haha, thanks, arrived today, finally...and that's been the turning point so far :-).

    4. offtheromanroad


      How are you now, moanareina?

  2. For me it was somewhat emotional and philosophical. Not sure if you can call philosophical intellectual. Somehow I see it as something in between. Because I never really did a fact check like studying science books or so. But I did a check on my own convictions on a philosophical level. But what I can say for sure, it has never been a decision. It just happened. Step by step, one by one. Maybe it would help you if you write down the things that trouble you. What is giving you difficult times. Then discuss this with your therapist and see how he can help you with the emotional side of it.
  3. How many "end-times" did you survive? I think if I count them it is about twenty or so...my dad and granddad already told us we would live in the end times. How many peaks did it have already? WW1, WW2, cold war, more war here and there... There is no end-times as much as there is no global revival...which has been promised by the church over and over...it's just around the corner...but never really comes...lalalaaa... But for real, try to distract yourself. Stop reading the news, it is not helping and not relevant for your very life either. Unless you want to travel to one of the plac
  4. I have weird neighbors. Just was at the laundry room doing laundry and they walk in, look at me as if I was an alien and leave without saying a word...how about hi, how are you?

    1. FlowerDemon


      people are strange.

    2. yunea


      That's one reason why I keep pet snails. They stare at you so weird all the time, people's similar stares don't seem quite so bothersome anymore. :P Seriously though, I wonder how even a friendly smile seems too much to ask for sometimes.

    3. moanareina


      Maybe they don't learn this up north because winter is dark and no one sees much there...haha...my neighbors are all Finns.

  5. DL, I think it would be good if you saw your GP sooner than at the end of the year and I think it would be good if you got a general check up. Means you get your blood tested for: Iron and vitamins (especially VitD and VitB complex) thyroid hormones (very important...if you have malfunction of your thyroid it can cause tons of problems and they seem to be psychiatric or psychosomatic when in fact they are physical). Blood sugar and just to be on the safe side: Liver function Kidney function Colesterol (both) White blood cells and red blood cells and amount of blood
  6. No FTNZ I have no diagnosis of celiac disease but I do have a sensitive intestinal tract and I had to stop taking Ritalin again because I got trouble with my digestion. Now the question is, have those troubles been there and the meds intensified them or are they directly caused by the meds. Thing is, I wake up feeling dehydrated weather I take meds or not. I also feel shaky often and the meds probably just made me more aware of it. And I have never been to any natural health practitioner. I had a severe candida infection in Spring 2014 because I took antibiotics due to stomach problems I h
  7. Yes DL...seems like your observations might be very accurate. I wake up lately with shaky feelings. And a slightly depressed mind. It makes me lay in bed way longer than I want to. I wake up in a weird state of mind that feels like I experienced something crazy or important but it actually goes away the more I try to be here instead of figuring out what it is. I often wake up feeling really dehydrated. It is why I made a doctor's appointment because it sucks...and I want to know if it is something with my body. Also because it feels more like it is caused physically than psychologically (Skill
  8. Or...you could just leave it and let it be good for now . I don't think that it would be ungrateful if you would do that. You had an experience, you met something that your mind thinks was God or Jesus (sorry if I get this wrong) and thats ok. If there is more to this, why should God hide it from you and make you go through all the weirdness to actually find out about that? And what a friend would that be who gives you such a hard time with everything? Would that not be more like betraying you? Would you do this to someone you call a friend? Do you really think God would want you t
  9. Why do you consider them important memories? What is the importance of those memories or better why do you find it important to remember what you can't remember? What is so memorable about it? About something you can't grasp? Go with what you are comfortable with. Really. I tell these to people who are believing in God in any way. That I am feeling more whole when I embrace the possibility that God does not exist. And I tell them that I firmly believe if God exists, he is cool with that. Because if he is all loving and has only my best in mind, that actually is my best and he would know wh
  10. You know, memories are tainted do you? Even people who never had anything like psychosis can have this experience. I know I have had memories I only know they where not real memories because they where pretty odd. Like I remember once having been at a ski resort with my adopting mom and having slept outside in a cradle with a sheep fur. This is and has been a very real memory but there was no way my adopting mom would have let me sleep out in the cold by minus temps...also me not freezing to death...and I was already too tall to fit in a cradle. So why should I try and go back into those memor
  11. I am a very bad person because you know...I just cut all contact to my birth mom and it felt good from the moment I hit that "block this contact" on FB and WhatsApp and other things...and it still does. So much peace and no constantly feeling alert to what might come from her even if it wasn't all bad. So I really don't care how bad of a person that makes me to be... I always thought I had to give her a chance, I had to try harder to build this relationship, I always thought it was up to me that this relationship was not going anywhere...but you know what? No. It is not. I gave her so many
  12. Have you talked about your concerns with your therapist. I mean have you asked him if he is frustrated with you because you do not change? Is that his observation too? Or is this what you think and feel about yourself? Did you really not change so far? How could you test this to be true? And hey, what you say about Spock...we just discussed a skill called Hero Of Your Everyday Life a few weeks ago. Means: You find a real or fantasy person who you think is sane and sound and could be a sort of a role model to you in difficult moments. Someone you could remember and think: Wait a moment, wha
  13. Sounds a little like one who suffers panic attacks and then has panic attacks because he is afraid of panic attacks. Did this so called incoherency cause you trouble in the past and if so how long ago was that and how often did it happen? You know, when I am talking to my therapist about such things she always brings it back to this: You will not change your behavior or feelings by figuring it all out. I think there are things you will not solve by thinking it though again and again. Maybe this is such thing and what you might need to do is, to focus on life as it happens. Present
  14. Have you ever familiarized yourself with the concept of dialectic? It says, that there can be two seemingly opposites to be true at the same time and it is us who need to find a dialect between the two. Sounds kinda like that to me in your case. If you look at it from a rather philosophical point of view in logic there is a difference between contrary and contradictory. If you look up the logical square you will find the following relations: A is true and A is false are contrary. They can not be true at the same time but they can both be false at the same time. A is true and A is some
  15. I felt embarrassed for quite some time but this has passed with me moving on and on in my journey of life. Today I can say with boldness that I have been a member of a fundy church for many years and also why and how it came I left. I guess it has also to do with the years and distance I have now...it's exactly eight years in December that I have left church to find God on my own...and ending up losing faith all together. But also a big role played my current process of building up self esteem and radically accept myself. It has started about two years ago with some speeches I watched onli
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