goldenhaze

OP, I totally agree. Respect should be earned, not demanded, and that includes parents.

Francesco, I was only suggesting that perhaps it might be good to face the issue head-on, rather than have it come out some later date that you don't particularly enjoy church. But you have to do whatever is most comfortable for you. I hope you can someday enjoy the freedom to choose how much you want to be involved in church. Good luck, and welcome to Ex-C!

This question was the catalyst to my decision to de-convert. In Sunday school, one of my fellow classmates asked and our teacher, a mild-mannered fellow with a kind smile and soft blue eyes, explained that a person who committed suicide would go to hell. I had a hard time understanding how such a nice, compassionate person could ignore the emotional considerations involved. What if the person was in excruciating physical or emotional pain? I believed then--as I still believe now--that if someone is suffering so badly that they no longer wish to live, they should have that choice. Of course

Kyle2Step, Me, too, but I never made the connection until you mentioned it! Maybe church services should come with surgeon's general warning labels, or at least a couple of Advil. Re: the original topic, my DH and I usually sleep in and do other things together as a family, like planting an herb garden, taking the dog for walks, etc.

If you favor the Dan Dennett approach, you could say, "I forgive you". However, this probably would not be appropriate for your situation. Instead, maybe you could say, "Thank you for your kind thoughts"?

I de-converted several years ago, and still feel overwhelming guilt sometimes when I think about things I said while "witnessing" (to use a yucky Christianese word) to non-Christians. I agree with Pantaphobia's idea of trying to make amends towards the people and groups that you feel you disrespected.

william7davis, I agree that the OP is being thoughtful and considerate of his mother's feelings, which is admirable, but I wonder if this approach might not backfire in the coming years. What happens if he decides to come out to her later, and explains that he hasn't believed for quite some time? She might feel that he's lead her on. Granted, it may also be safer economically and emotionally to choose not to come out while still financially dependent on a parent. Just wanted to offer another possible perspective. Peace, GH

No need to feel sorry. Many of us don't get married, or wait to marry, because we want to. My husband and I cohabitated for several years before marriage. In fact, he wanted to get married several months before I did, while I pushed to wait until we could find stable jobs and achieve some measure of financial stability. If I could go back in time, I'd do it all over again. Living together first is a good idea because you get to know what your partner is like when he/she is not on his or her best behavior.

I'm more of a fan of individual artists (like Josh Groban) and their versions of holiday songs than any particular song.