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Aiyana

Spirituality
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    242
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About Aiyana

  • Rank
    Strong Minded

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Interests
    spirituality/religion, homeschooling, music
  • More About Me
    .

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    nature, I think

Recent Profile Visitors

818 profile views
  1. We need to talk!!!! I am having almost identical thoughts to this lately!
  2. Hi!! I am Afrikaner on my dad's side. I lived in S.A. for three years as a little girl.
  3. I hadn't talked to this friend since deconverting in 2014. She sent me this letter out of nowhere. Here's part of it. I share it with y'all because I know you'll understand! She doesn't seem to see the irony in telling me "It is never right to scare people... fear is never the right approach to come to Christ", and then following it almost immediately with "I pray you would turn back to Him before I lose you forever." Fam. THAT'S FEAR. "I have never stopped loving you, even though we haven’t talked in a long time. I pray and think of you often. I pray y
  4. Totally agree with Joshpantera here. Neither socialism nor fascism are taking our country over anytime soon. I find it fascinating, in fact, how during the Obama years, one could find fear of socialism all over the internet. It was a constant "ZOMG! Obama is going to (fill in the blank) and we're all going to die in death camps made from shut-down Walmarts!!!!111!!!" Now, during this administration, there is what I've heard called "Trump Derangement Syndrome", which consists of "ZOMG! Trump is going to (fill in the blank), all the gays are going to be electrocuted to death when the fascis
  5. @MOHO All right, got it now. That was easy! @Joshpantera Honestly, that isn't a bad idea. It may be a good tool to add to my bag. ETA: Wait... still doesn't look like tagging is working. Gah.
  6. @<MOHO> That sucks. Lucky for me, my family of origin are mostly non-religious (the immediate fam anyway). My mom still probably considers herself Catholic to some degree but she never goes to church. Dad, sister, and brother all along the agnostic/atheist spectrum. DH, however, is Christian, and desires to raise the kids Christian. IKWYM about the cringe. I was talking recently to a brand-new acquaintance who was telling me about her decision to not homeschool her son next year (we are both homeschoolers). She was saying how she didn't WANT to send him to public
  7. I'm a massive introvert as well, MOHO. (I don't remember how to tag you... hopefully you see this!) I think the ages of my kiddos have a lot to do with it. If I were single, or an empty nester, it would probably be different. But I'm at a point where community and family are so important.
  8. Thanks everyone. I love the phrase "anxiety is intolerance to uncertainly". Super good definition.
  9. I'm spending a lot of thought lately on WHY I was attracted to religion in the first place. I was raised Catholic, but only in a "meh" kind of way. I quit going to Mass around 14 and no one really cared too much. It wasn't until my mid-teens when I learned of evangelical Christianity, and my early 20's when I dove in. My own choice. Not parents, not spouse, not friends. Deconversion came in my mid-30's, and it was full and complete. Or so I thought. I really struggled to stay atheist. I gradually made my way back into the circle... first via personal "searching", then via Episcopa
  10. Thanks for everyone's answers. I talked with my husband this weekend and it actually went quite well. I think it was lacking in the shock that last time brought. To answer specific people's questions: Fuego: We actually just moved to the area in January. I honestly wanted to get out of Seattle. I'm politically conservative, so I'm fine with that aspect, and I also really like the peace and easy breathing of a small town. So we probably won't be going anywhere soon. Now that I had the convo with my husband, I feel freer to be honest with folks I meet. Insightful: I'm so
  11. I'm not really sure where to begin. I'm typing this on a computer at a public library next to a dude blasting heavy metal on his headphones. I hate heavy metal with every cell of my being. I'm enduring it because I just need to talk. I was very active on this site back in 2014-ish. I spent the years between 2001 and 2013 as a hardcore evangelical. I think I always had the roots of doubts. But I managed to suppress them for many years. They kicked in hardcore around the beginning of 2012. I spent about a year and a half in the deconversion process. I fought it with all my strength, but I l
  12. Your link is cool, Jeff. I like the idea. I think my hatred/anger toward Christianity (or religion in general) has melted. I see all religion now as kind of a way to connect with "other" or "spirit" or "energy" or whatever you want to call it. I didn't really like not having any kind of connection toward that. It was okay in the beginning, but after awhile I really missed having a spiritual side to my life. I looked into other things that I felt drawn to, but I couldn't really get into them, because I felt like a poser or something. With Catholicism, I don't feel like a poser, because
  13. Thanks for all the replies, everyone. I did end up going to a mass this morning. I chose the early morning mass with Gregorian chant. It was honestly really beautiful. I felt like I had traveled back in time. Like I was in an episode of The Tudors, or something. It definitely speaks to the side of me that longs for a fantasy realm, as well as the side of me that longs for structure and order and purity. I'm 99% sure that I'm on the autism spectrum, and I know that most likely influences things as well.
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