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Everything posted by violetbutterfly

  1. Oh, like this misinterpreted quote taken out of context? 11 if you notice among the captives a beautiful woman and are attracted to her, you may take her as your wife. 12 Bring her into your home and have her shave her head, trim her nails 13 and put aside the clothes she was wearing when captured. After she has lived in your house and mourned her father and mother for a full month, then you may go to her and be her husband and she shall be your wife. 14 If you are not pleased with her, let her go wherever she wishes. You must not sell her or treat her as a slave, since you have dishonored her. Damn, my ignorance and hardened heart sounds like men are being allowed (commanded?) to treat women like pieces of property to use for sexual purposes? Maybe I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND! I guess it's okay because he's not allowed to sell her if her sexual performance is not up to par for wife standards. It didn't make any sense when I was a believer either...nice try.
  2. In my siggy... Sex & God: How Religion Distorts Sexuality by Darrel Ray
  3. I've found that reading books on other beliefs helps tremendously. The idea being that you reset your default. It's easy to fall back into the "this is the only possible explanation" trap when you remove all religion from your life. But when you study and learn about other religions...those you've never believed and those you "know" were never true, it gets easier to apply the same skepticism to the religion you left behind. Also, hang out with us. The more you unravel bit by bit, the easier it becomes.
  4. "For children, just one hole is recommended." Lol!! Neti pots will be a thing of the past.
  5. Three books by Andrew Wommack: God Wants You Well (What the bible really says about walking in divine health) Sharper than a Two Edged Sword (A summary of 16 powerful messages that have changed the lives of thousands) A Better Way to Pray (If your prayer life is not working, consider changing directions) It was definitely a buzzkill. I missed the week after because I was too busy sinning it up in Vegas and I worked the last two weeks. I think it was a one time visit. Hopefully.
  6. I hope this hasn't been posted yet! http://thegoodlordabove.com/features/details/210
  7. I came to ex-c this morning because I knew this thread had to exist. I heart you, Jeff. Remember the old saying "Ew, I feel like I need to go to church after seeing that"? Well when I'm bombarded with the LARD! ...it's more like, "Ew, I really need to go to Ex-C.net!" GLORY!
  8. www.refinery29.com/2016/03/103885/bangladesh-child-marriage This has always been so disturbing to me. Especially as someone who married the wrong person on my own accord and was able to leave with the support of my family.
  9. I just can't. I rejoined facebook about a month ago after a few year hiatus. I'm keeping it small this time...50 friends instead of 500. Anyway, I know how some people here feel about the police, but regardless, that's my life and one of my officers was shot in the head the other day and had emergency surgery. He's slowly making progress but has not regained consciousness yet. I am heartbroken and of course, hoping for the best. But I am just appalled at how everything has turned into "pray for him" and "he needs our prayers" and "keep praying" and prayer vigils and prayer, prayer, prayer. It's at the point of ridiculousness. I would actually like to show my support for him and his family without bringing prayer into it but it is damn near impossible. I really want to scream, "If this was all part of your God's plan and it all happened because God works in mysterious ways, then what is all your begging (aka praying) going to do?" Is God up there on the fence? "Hmmmm....don't think they've suffered enough yet. Don't think I've broken them down enough yet. They need to do a bit more begging." Do they not realize how stupid it is? Sometimes it's really hard to be removed from that mindset. The amount of begging and pleading for prayers makes me feel physically ill. And on top of that, one of my friends is going through a major heartbreak right now. Her husband of five months told her he was cheating and wants a divorce. She is understandably devastated. But her facebook wall looks like the "What Christians post of Facebook" thread. It's one Joel Osteen quote after another. I absolutely support my friend, but refuse to ever agree with any of that garbage. She will get through it without "God" or "his plan to break her down to make her stronger." I wish we all lived in reality. Then maybe friendship and support would mean more than just empty bullshit words about prayer.
  10. Ok, that's funny. But there are no churches in sight when I'm trying to enjoy my burger on a Wednesday evening.
  11. Meh, you're fine! I don't even have a TV, by choice. I couldn't care less about the Oscars and most popular TV makes me cringe, especially the current obsession with "reality" shows. Star Wars...I'd rather go to the dentist. No really. Clean teeth are preferable. A lot of new music is just meh. I will occasionally come across a pop culture magazine and upon flipping through it, will realize I have no idea who most of the celebrities are. Urban dictionary makes me really uncomfortable. And video games? Just no. So I pretty much just checked off your entire list. I did enjoy the Harry Potter movies, but definitely not to the extent of most people. So that said, no reason at all to feel like you're missing out. I hope your feelings about things being temporary and thus uninteresting are just a stage of deconversion and will pass soon. If you are into conspiracies and paranormal, I do recommend checking out the original X-Files. Fun stuff, but it can be kind of graphic. And I'm sure as you go on and allow yourself to enjoy things again, you will find your niche. Pop culture is sometimes like the McDonald's of hobbies...There are much more fulfilling, satisfying and healthy ways to spend your time. Are you looking for suggestions? Have you checked out Pinterest at all? It may actually be overwhelming at first, but I have gotten so many good ideas there in regards to hobbies, crafts, gardening, cooking, etc. Those are some things I'm into...whatever you're into, you will find it there. And as far as music, I really love Pandora. I have discovered lots of great new music based on their music suggestions based on what I already like. One cool song leads me to look up the band and I end up finding a whole collection of albums and new music. I also sometimes get sucked into the black hole of science documentaries on YouTube as well. And books....having a kindle app is a double edged sword because there is access to basically every book ever written, but it's TOO easy to buy them. For every book description you check out, there are suggestions for so many more you will probably be into. Don't worry about the things that don't resonate with you and keep an eye out for the things that do. ETA: For the record, if someone told me they don't know who Kanye West is, it would make me like that person more. There ARE people who would cherish a friendship with you, exactly as you are in this moment. Don't settle for less and embrace the fact that you aren't into pop culture. When people tease me about not having a TV or knowing who a celebrity is, it actually makes me feel good to have confirmation that I'm not just following the crowd. Embrace it.
  12. The only time the revving pisses me off is in the summer when the little downtown area in my town is filled with people eating on outdoor patios and they come riding down the street... continuous, obnoxious, unnecessary revving for the sole intention of disrupting the diners, made worse by it echoing off the buildings. We'll be there with elderly relatives and little kids trying to enjoy a meal and here come the revvers, back and forth, over and over. Ooooh, look at me everyone! Jerks.
  13. I wish I had the courage. I am more the type to see the good intentions, act polite and then come here to vent. My dad was most likely expressing his concern to a fellow Christian (the guy) about me feeling depressed the last few years after going though a divorce, having another relationship end in a devastating manner and feeling left behind by life as my friends all have families and I'm creeping into advanced maternal age with no prospects in sight. The books are supposed to explain why God is putting me though trials but it will all be okay in the end or some crap to that effect. Dad thinks I need to keep praying and think positive. That doesn't make any sense, of course, but I don't have the energy in me to have the big talk just yet. To him, Jesus and God are facts. It won't be the conclusion I have come to after years of reading, research and soul searching, I will just be WRONG and MISINFORMED. Ironic, no?
  14. I am so sorry you're going through this with people who are supposed to love you for who you are. I'm laying in bed unable to sleep because I'm fantasizing about all the things I wish I could shout from the rooftops about being atheist so I was nodding along in agreement reading your post. I really hope you seek out a supportive community to help you through this. There ARE people who will love you for being you and for having the courage to improve your life. Please don't give up.
  15. I just need to type this out somewhere. I love my dad. He is a wonderful person and I know he loves me more than anything. He's Christian, but he's not a fire and brimstone Christian, he's one of the "God loves you and it will all work out (just ignore the horrible parts of the bible)" type Christian. The touchy feely type. My mom knows I'm an atheist and while my dad and I have never discussed the issue directly, my mom has said in the past that my dad has an idea of how I feel. She even likes to point out that they have an open mind and that my dad enjoys shows on science and even psuedo-science as entertainment, such as Ancient Aliens. So they are nowhere near hardcore Christians. I think it's just one of those things that gives them comfort: God is in control, there is something better after death, they will get to see loved ones again, etc. My parents are very cool. Every week we go to bar trivia with a big group of friends, and we have a blast. We have a group of all ages and it's a really good time. My dad mentioned something about his friend from work joining us this week. Sure, the more the merrier. His friend was all kinds of awesome. Funny, smart...a great addition to the trivia team. He didn't know anyone but my dad, and he got along great with people he'd just met. After 2-3 really fun hours, we were getting ready to leave. He leans over and says, "I have some books for you." I was honestly curious, thinking there were tons of things I am interested in that they could be about. "Oh, what kind of books?" "Just some Christian books. Your dad mentioned that they might be helpful to you." I am just so sad. He was super cool. I really enjoyed hanging out with him. But really, was it just a Christian intervention by my dad? I graciously accepted them and smiled a thank you, but when I got home and looked at them, it's the same old drivel. I know they all have the best of intentions. I realize it. The books are about how God loves you even when it feels like he's against you, blah blah blah. It's not like it's a fire and brimstone "pray the gay away" type of intervention. But it was unnerving and disappointing. I really wish I could say to them that that none of it matters because I'd need to believe that Jesus was real, that he was the son of God, that the Bible is the infallible word of God and that there is a God in the first place in order for the books to be anything but fiction and wishful thinking. He may as well have given me Harry Potter books, which would have been more entertaining and more moral anyway. I don't need an intervention, no matter how well intended. I live in reality now. What I really wish was that I could bring everyone else with me. It really is so much better here. Why is it so difficult for people to see the truth? It is though...took me over 30 years. I don't know why I had to write this out but I feel better. It's difficult sometimes when you're the only atheist you know.
  16. The author was on ex-c for a short time and posted this link when it was only around 100 reasons. He's added a lot more since then. I've sent this link to numerous people...it pretty much speaks for itself!
  17. So I am reading this as the father found text messages referring to photos. Unless the texts were extremely descriptive, I'm thinking he imagined worse case scenario. Not that I think a 14 should be worried about sending suggestive pics of herself in the first place, but what do they mean by "nude?" A whole body shot with her face is different than maybe a little sideboob with no face included. They don't seem to warrant the same amount of outrage, IMO.
  18. However, you should never settle for a bad relationship just so you're not alone. And there is nothing wrong with divorce if you're miserable and your marriage is no longer working.
  19. "Everything happens for a reason" is bullshit. It's okay to be angry and grieve when shitty things happen to you or you lose someone you love.
  20. Thank you, this is what I'm saying. It matters now.
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