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violetbutterfly

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Everything posted by violetbutterfly

  1. My brain hurts after that. Thank you Christian for reminding me exactly what I left behind and why.
  2. Nice! I still don't have the confidence to debate facts yet but I thoroughly enjoy listening to others. Good for you!
  3. Same here. When I was still xtian and looking for some sort of comfort after my divorce, all I kept coming across was how selfish and sinful I was. And about how marriage is not about happiness and sometimes God doesn't want us to be happy or have good sex. It was absolutely sickening. Isn't that the truth!!!! I called bullshit to that sucky xian attitude and went out and enjoyed great sex! And you know what? I think that that great sex with willing partners brought a little bit of joy into the world! I truly do. More joy than me and my ex had, walking on eggshells and being polite with each other, with no passion. It definitely brought me joy, and I in turn was probably a happier, more joyful person to others...especially after having a similar marriage experience with my ex-husband.
  4. Same here. When I was still xtian and looking for some sort of comfort after my divorce, all I kept coming across was how selfish and sinful I was. And about how marriage is not about happiness and sometimes God doesn't want us to be happy or have good sex. It was absolutely sickening.
  5. Pretty sure this had something to do with it. I know that's how I was. Resentful.
  6. Ha, I love this post. I feel the same way.
  7. I had to google this. Fucking WOW. http://southcarolina.forums.rivals.com/threads/john-hagee-calls-for-%E2%80%9Cprosecuting-women-who-say-god%E2%80%99s-name-during-intercourse%E2%80%9D.36096/ What an absolute clown of a man Also, notice it's only women. I've heard an "Oh God" or two from a man while using my talents. They don't have to go to prison? Then again, it's obviously my fault for making them say it in the first place.
  8. I had to google this. Fucking WOW. http://southcarolina.forums.rivals.com/threads/john-hagee-calls-for-%E2%80%9Cprosecuting-women-who-say-god%E2%80%99s-name-during-intercourse%E2%80%9D.36096/
  9. This is my most favorite thread in the history of the interwebz.
  10. There may be something to this. When I was a Christian I used to feel envious of atheists. I so wished Christianity wasn't true so I didn't have to feel guilty and worthless. But I WAS so convinced it was absolute fact that it took years and years for me to get to this point.
  11. I agree with this. Even as an Ex-C, I enjoy reading the exchanges between the Xtians and the Ex-Cs. They spark conversations, complete with scriptural quotes and biblical references, that I don't think would occur on their own within the typical banter back and forth between just Ex-Cs. And I know that I read a lot, A LOT, more than I post. I always assume there are lurkers around. Even if one person learns something, it's worth it. That's why when there is an obvious troll, a lot of members continue to "feed the troll." It's not for his benefit, it's for everyone else.
  12. All good advice, and let me add a little perspective... I'm about the same height/weight range as you. A few years ago, I went through a divorce and out of despair/depression/guilt and because I had no appetite, I dropped a lot of weight. Then I had to have emergency surgery and spent a week in the hospital and dropped more weight. After it was all said and done, I was super thin, about what you stated your ideal weight is. Of course I loved it because that's what women in magazines look like. So I was obsessed with not gaining any of the weight back. I stopped having a life. I was struggling emotionally anyway, but I stopped going out with my friends for about a year. I was obsessed with what I ate and I never ate anything I didn't make fresh. I worked out for at least two hours a day. I never went out to restaurants, I never socialized, I didn't drink anything but water. I was miserable and lonely. The "What's your excuse" stuff makes me angry. I was obsessed with my weight and my looks because I had unaddressed psychological issues. I used to cry during my work outs because it felt like it was all I had. As soon as I started feeling emotionally better, and started socializing, and started going out with people again, going to restaurants, going to parties, and letting go and having fun, I put more than half of the weight back on. But I'm HAPPY. My body wasn't meant to be that thin. I was so proud of myself when I was dieting and working out but it was my WHOLE life. Work, sleep, prepare meals, work out. I still kept the healthy habits, like drinking mostly water instead of sugary drinks, eating lots of fruits and veggies and minimal processed food, and I work out for about 30 mins every other day. But I am never going to be that so-called "ideal" weight again. And that's okay....it was a hard lesson to learn but this is just how my body is supposed to be. Now I have an occasional glass of wine or meet my friends out for tacos. I have a life again. I just want you to know that even though it may be possible to maintain a certain weight, it doesn't necessarily equate with being healthy. I didn't even get there by healthy means...it was stress, depression and an emergency appendectomy that got rid of the weight for me. I hope this helps you see things in a different way. I'll take my mentally healthy self any day over being skinny and miserable. Also, I agree about switching therapists or at least making sure you really talk about it in therapy. We are hard enough on our selves, we don't need the added pressure of family opinions.
  13. Yes. Actually, I've always thought this way, I just used to implement a "thought filter" because you-know-who was listening to my thoughts. Now IDGAF.
  14. Sometimes when "thank god" comes out of my mouth I'm momentarily annoyed but it passes. I've actually started saying "goddammit" much more often. It was something I always stopped myself from saying before, so now it feels really cathartic and satisfying. Also, I don't mind the fact that it probably upsets xtians who here me say it. Other than that though, I haven't made much of an effort to actively change anything.
  15. I wear a lotus flower necklace. I know it's symbolic in some Eastern religions but I just like it because it's a flower that grows out of swamp mud. Reminds me of everything I've fought my way through to get where I am. I also like butterflies for their symbolism of transformation. Both are personal to me as symbols of personal growth and my leaving religion behind.
  16. This right here is the bottom line. Instead, we see stupid shit like this:
  17. Just a side note to go along with what your nurse told you...you stated in your first post that you wanted to get into running but didn't really like it. What about if you did some bodyweight exercises instead of running? You could always do sit ups, push ups, planks, etc. You can start slow and build up reps. I'm sorry to hear about how you were treated by your parents. I agree that maybe you should talk to someone about how it's making you feel. I agree with FTNZ that control is the foundation of an eating disorder and you definitely do not want things to get to that point. I do understand your desire to be healthy and fit and to be in control of your health and body. But make sure you are doing it for you and not a desire to please anyone else.
  18. I would have dated around and "lived in sin" before getting married, if I ever got married at all. I would have had faith in myself that I could support myself instead of falling into the role of submissive wife who relied on a man.
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