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yunea last won the day on October 12 2015

yunea had the most liked content!

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About yunea

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    Pink Creature
  • Birthday 11/16/1984

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    Handicrafts, nature, coffee, sleep, maths.
  • More About Me
    After many adventures in different kinds of Christianity and also very intense New Age with Jesus mixed in, and a dramatic deconversion that nearly had me take my own life, I'm finding myself content with atheism. However, that doesn't mean I don't appreciate connection with nature and people. Quite the opposite! It only means I don't need anyone to dictate me on how to live and love, and as a result, life is more fulfilling.

    I have DDNOS due to having had so many difficulties growing up. Feel free to drop me a line if you want to talk about dissociation in a peer to peer manner.

    I'm a regular in the Discord Ex-C Chat room, but due to my time zone (+2 GMT) I may be a little hard to catch there.

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Don't need one.

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  1. Welcome to the forum HoneyBib. It's very easy to look back on your life and think you know which ways it'd have been different if you'd done things "right", and feel so much regret and shame. I've done so much of that, sometimes I feel like I have nothing but regret over most of the first 30 years of my life! The thing is, we honestly don't know this stuff. We can't remove one major factor, such as religion, and know how everything else is (or isn't) affected by that. Maybe something else would have come up in between you and your dear cat. Maybe you would have come ac
  2. So you're saying I was basically a witch with satanic powers all along, even when I was Pentecostal and terrified of upsetting the Holy Ghost, and also when I prayed all the time - really ALL the time, in my thoughts or whispering quietly - to Jesus, "thy will be done Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, who has power over everything in heaven and on Earth"? How do YOU know you have the right Jesus? I thought, trusted, and made plans that depended on the "fact" that I knew Jesus. Saw signs etc. And I was wrong. I have also gotten on my knees since my deconve
  3. Yes, indeed. I thought my life was a conversation with God through signs, emotions, thoughts, other people. My hands would heat up during prayer and people would experience pain relief. I experienced many "healings" too but they all turned out to be me refusing to acknowledge the pain, dissociating it away. It hurts the most, I think, when you've been living like your relationship with Jesus is the one thing in your life you cannot lose no matter what, and then it's gone. That happened to me. I nearly died. I wanted to, I had someone hold me down physically so I did not harm mysel
  4. Maybe the guy saw the families on the church's Facebook page? There is very likely to be a very secular explanation, them putting up a show to get more money from that day's offerings even though they weren't getting on TV. I've had my share of encounters with "psychics". Before my deconversion, I met a bunch who were very dangerously wrong. We're talking about them claiming to know who is "the one" for me and who I must stay away from, what will be my career - all very very wrong, and they got upset with me when I couldn't not listen to my own gut and eventually did the opposite
  5. I guess this is the appropriate forum. Just thought I'd share something that matters quite a bit to me. I no longer get huge anxiety reactions from religious art and buildings. I'm able to enjoy very old churches and cathedrals for the architecture and the artworks inside, just this summer I've visited a few already outside service times and I am looking forward to more. I even attended a boring Lutheran service, and it was tolerable. I still won't subject myself to anything like Pentecostalism, no point in that for now. Plus they don't have nice buildings, not here at least.
  6. I haven't contributed to this thread yet because I have a hard time deciding on THE stupidest thing I used to believe. I have so many! BTW, I too was a physics student and a believer. I had all these explanations for why angels couldn't be measured in the lab and stuff. I believed in old Earth and that evolution was the way creation was done, but that's far from being the stupidest thing. Hmm. Okay here's one. Believing that atheism was active denying of the Christian God every day, just to piss him (and Christians) off. That was pretty stupid.
  7. yunea

    Hell no

    This is a good few pages back (page 6 actually) but I just have to address this, as no one else has. So, say it's your toddler. As the adult parent, YOU'RE the only one of the two of you who fully understands the danger, and the pain that follows if your child is violated. At 2, she's too small to comprehend what rape is. That is why you don't teach the small child to not touch a rapist. You certainly don't teach them that they're responsible for being hurt by an adult and will afterwards be punished with yet another hard-to-comprehend thing. Instead, you
  8. There were many things I was waiting to finally understand. I didn't even consider most of those things to be doubt per se, I thought it was me being immature or a subject of spiritual warfare. One category of things I couldn't brush off as either was, why god allowed so many weird things in his own holy buildings? I'm not even talking about the obviously criminal stuff, sexual abuse and such, because I had a hard time even believing it actually happened in churches. I am talking about things that could be done with good intentions and full belief that God is in control
  9. Good to see you Ag, sorry to hear about your injury. I hope you recover fully.
  10. Why, yes, I wish I hadn't had the abusive childhood I had. I don't come from a family of pastors, but I have asked myself so many times, just how different would I be if I had had a safe childhood with emotional support to grow up to work towards fulfilling my own dreams and plans, instead of the years of my youth being wasted just trying to survive, surrounded by delusions? It is impossible to know the answer. And it's an easy road to bitterness to think about it too much. One I have walked down way too many times and still am tempted to. It's easy to answer myself that I'd be ha
  11. I tried to convince a non-believer of God's existence by speaking in tongues in front of them. Also I am great at self-suggestion and have a dissociated mind, and before I knew these things I didn't know that things I do to myself can feel like someone else does them, and it's still just me. I had a lot of physical feelings and other odd experiences during prayer (and really did feel "slain" in the spirit without anyone touching me, and didn't see it was my own mind doing it). The most cringe-worthy and really dangerous one was that I managed to numb away my own toothache with pra
  12. Lydie and Rachel, For what it's worth, my inner conversations (never a monologue) used to be more like fights. There was yelling and crying, and it was often very unhelpful in decision making when they would disagree with each other, or just generally make noise. I don't audibly hear them, they're just thoughts that I can't ignore. What has helped me is understanding the mechanisms behind them. The way they try to do what makes sense (unfortunately they can learn that you getting hurt over and over again makes sense). Therapy, with a good secular therapist who knows w
  13. I was excited to see this thread pop up. I should vacuum. I'm still having my morning coffee. I will probably knit before I vacuum. There's plenty of time for both today. I didn't watch TV in my own home for 4 years. Now I'm absolutely hooked on Catfish. I turn the TV on for that and then turn it off again.
  14. I didn't really grow up with this either, but in the last couple years before my deconversion, in my New Agey version of Christianity, I heard this kind of things a lot. Not buying second hand stuff because of attached spirits, claiming that it's a "highly developed" way of living when there is "no evil" in their minds or whatever, etc. I was very involved in my faith, but even I could see that they were being unhealthy! Oh and some years earlier, I had a brief encounter with Amway when The Secret had just come out, and they were super excited about it. I wonder if they still are.
  15. You need to be sure that her solution to your problems isn't more Christianity.
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