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Lost

Regular Member
  • Content Count

    128
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About Lost

  • Rank
    Thinker
  • Birthday 06/27/1993

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Interests
    Religion, Films, Music, Nursing, Social Issues, Mental Illnesses
  • More About Me
    I lost my mum when I was about 9 years old. That personal tragedy pushed me close to God in Catholic Church. In 2011 I was baptised in Evangelical Church on my own will, but with a little bit shadow of doubt. Because I have been creating story for film for 5 years in my head (not on a paper, because of lack of motivation) I was looking for information on different subjects connected with religion and belief or non-belief. That's how I came to salvation in CHrist and that's how my doubts started to grow. Now I don't know what to expect.

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    I don't know anymore

Recent Profile Visitors

3,959 profile views
  1. Hey ReducedToAtoms! Sorry for not replying for a long time, but I have tendencies to throw myself into my duties and forget about other corners of the world. Thank You for Your reply to my worries and the subject of COVID and introvertism. Wish You ALL the best in Your life and in Your journey towards rationalism among spiritual struggles and doubts. And wish You lots of JOY during Christmas time wherever it means to You. Greetings from POLAND
  2. Thank You freshstart for Your advice With the whole respect towards ReducedToAtoms who created this thread, I am going to answer. I guess I have no choice and I need to accept that my doubts are part of my daily living. Sometimes I wonder, why my life has to be so complicated. In some places like work and in public, I have to be stable as much as I can, but luckily at home I can be as lazy and not caring as it is possible. I am often jealous that other people create relationships so easily and have parents, this whole support and become pr
  3. Thank You Castiel233. All the best for You too and in your work at the hospital
  4. Yes, I also think that it is real. I'm going to start my new job as a nurse in February.
  5. Hey ReducedtoAtoms! My last time, when I was sitting in Evangelical Church with my fellows was the 1st July 2018. More than 2 years passed and I still sometimes feel observed by them. I decided to let one Christian friend stay in my life, but she says to me from time to time that people from church still ask about me and miss me and all that stuff. Personally I am an introvert and work for most of my life to be less shy and more confident or brave. If someone believe in zodiac signs I am a Cancer. So I am emotional and sensitive inside, but w
  6. Well, more than 1 month has passed since HIS death and I can say that grief has plenty of colours as many people say. And LIFE with time becomes not easier, just DIFFERENT as many people write this on grief websites. During grieving process of my boyfriend's death I witnessed some kind of flashbacks and coming back of feelings from my childhood's grief after my mum's death in 2002. Which was kind of weird and odd. I just realized that my mum will always be part of me as I was hers, so longing for her will never disappear. Some time ago I discovered the book 'Motherless daughters' o
  7. Thank You guys for Your responses I truly missed Ex-Christian Forum, but throughout my relationship with this man (that now is dead) I was kind of afraid to come here, cause I guess he would not understand my need for connection with others, who lost their faith in God. He wanted me to sort of come back to 'normal' Christian Faith as he was talking about Catholicism, but not neccessary practice it. The relationship with Him would be really difficult, because of His problems with alcoholism and with another family that He had. I guess, that what matte
  8. I came back to this site as I do from time to time. Hello again to old and new fellows! In December, 1 one man, 11 years older than me told me that he fell in love with me. He had 2 kids and wife, with whom he had divorce, but they still were living together at one home. I was always anti-relationship type of a person and I thought that I will never engage into any kind of relationship, especially with someone, who has children with someone else. But I decided to give it a try, although I knew that it has no sense, because he was an alcoholic and I
  9. Hi ! I would like to make a little update in this thread. Well, in August 2019 I have had an opportunity to visit my older niece and her boyfriend in Bath, Somerset in the UK for 5 days. I traveled by plane with my younger niece (sister of my older niece). Also, I have visited London for the first time in my life. For me the most exciting place was Trafalgar Square and China Town. Unfortunately Big Ben is now covered, because of renovation. To sum up, in 2017 I was able to be in the North part of England and in 2019 I traveled to South England. Cool!
  10. Hi!

     

    If anyone remembers me, I just want to let You know that I am alive and still thinking about Ex-Christian forum and about people that I  met here :) I just had a break mostly, because of problems with Internet connection at my home. Soon it will be fixed and I will come back here for longer time :) Greetings :)

    1. LogicalFallacy

      LogicalFallacy

      Hey Lost

       

      I certainly remember you! Miss you on Discord chat. If you make it back on we'll have to try a group voice chat again - provided we can get your sound working this time :) 

    2. Lost

      Lost

      Thank You Logical Fallacy for good words :)

    3. Lost

      Lost

      Unfortunately, I have Windows XP in my old computer and I can't install Discord. But maybe in the future I will buy used laptop with Windows 7 or Windows 10 and I will be able to finally install Discord there.

       

      Nowadays, I just focus on daily duties in life, try to solve my problems with debts, caused by shopaholism.

       I even think about working in the UK in the begining of 2020 as a nurse assistant with the help of Polish work agency. I guess European care assistants and nurses will be always welcome in the UK, even after Brexit.

       

      I just want to write, that I still think about Ex-Christian forum and about You guys, who give support to All the lost doubters and faith-quitters.

       

      Maybe one day, I will come back here for a longer time, but for now my life is difficult and I am less productive and motivated as a human being.

       

      Greetings for You All from Poland 🙂

       

      Thank You Logical Fallacy and Margee for good words and vibes 🙂

       

       

  11. Hey RealityCheck! I want to send You words of compassion from me to You in those hard moments of your life! I don't know how it is to witness death of the father (rather I know how it is to witness dad's struggle with alcoholism), but I know what it's like to lose a mother. Stick to Your wisdom that comes from Your personal experience and be healthy and strong in Your ways of life, whether they are happy or tragic. Lots of peace Lost
  12. I'm sort of depressed guys. Recently I got to conclusion that it will be really difficult for me to move to England in the future, because of some consequences related to my debts. I have them 90 % in 'non-bank' companies (loans that You can take through the Internet, getting money directly on Your bank account with out need of a traditional bank). For now, I got calls from debt collectors, because I don't pay to these companies any money from February 2019. I'm afraid that one day a bailiff will knock my home's doors. Luckily, as I found out, debts are the
  13. I guess, I would pray to a God that I have always known- Jesus. And if I was in a lot of pain and lonely, before death probably I would imagine the figure with open hands (ready to hug me) in light and try to imagine warmth and love that people who experience near death experience see and feel. And I would think in my mind or said "You know my whole life and deepest thoughts, emotions and doubts and I'm sorry that I wasn't able to live a life in Your godly ways, but if this is Your will, please accept me into Your kingdom, although I am very messed up and confused person". I
  14. Personally, I would be afraid to ask God for a sign again, cause I'm dread that I could actually receive a sign and then I would have to come back again to this whole Christian lifestyle and make sense of it all again. Honestly, I like the secular world too much to come back again to conservative ways of life. Well, I see lots of disadvantages in both worlds, whether it's liberal or conservative world. I just stick to rationality, love, kindness, hope and as much as I can the understanding and help for others. Although I have also lots of anger, dark emotions and pessimism inside o
  15. Thank You All for Your advices and Your perspective on this subject And thank You for Your time to reply to my thread Future will show if I will ever go abroad. But yeah, I am jealous that for other people moving abroad or traveling abroad is so easy. In many cases they have someone to support them and help in that process. I had only an opportunity to travel once to my cousin and her family to Northallerton (North Yorkshire in the UK) for 2 weeks during summer in 2017. To be honest, If my dad wouldn't ask my aunt ( my cousin's mother) to take me there, I don't know i
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