Daffodil

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Everything posted by Daffodil

  1. Taking a break for awhile. Will check back in sometime later. Have a great summer everyone!

  2. The response given was good advice, but they did not go far enough. If these grandparents (both sets!) are willing to have a whole ceremony done without the knowledge or consent of the parents when the child is a baby, what else are they willing to do!? They need to find new babysitters, even if they have to sacrifice to pay for it, and inform the grandparents that they have lost their childrens' trust and will no longer be allowed unsupervised access to the grandchild.
  3. Daffodil

    Being challenged by Catholic family members

    I would also add that if there is a strong chance of them ambushing you with an intervention, I would start coming up with excuses not to meet them in anyone's home. Offer to meet them for coffee in a restaurant or something, but try to avoid homes. They will have a harder time harassing you in public.
  4. Daffodil

    Being challenged by Catholic family members

    e me back to attending Mass every week. Never been catholic, but did study it with the intent of possibly becoming one as I was deconverting from evangelicalism years ago. I think the current pope is possibly your best defense against this kind of thing. After all, he is supposed to be god's representative on earth for catholics, right? So no matter how much they throw hell at you, keep coming back to "The pope says everyone is going to heaven, so I have no reason to fear." If they challenge that, then challenge them for being catholics that do not hold to the pope's teachings!
  5. I may be alone in this, but I say more power to 'em! Keep them all in one place so we can keep track of them!
  6. Daffodil

    Why didn't God heal this Christian

    Nope, he was a Jew!
  7. Daffodil

    Why didn't God heal this Christian

    Very sad indeed, but don't you worry because /sarc/ God's ways are mysterious. It is the sin of pride to question Him. God needed Nabeel in heaven with Him. God must have thought Nabeel's work on earth was finished. God used Nabeel's suffering as a testimony of faith in the face of tragedy. All things work together for good to those that love God. It was time for Nabeel to go to his forever home in heaven. We should be rejoicing! God has a plan for Nabeel's wife and daughter. Nabeel's suffering strengthened his character and made him more Christlike. We have no right to question God. He made the earth and the heavens. Who are we to question Him!? Rationalization - the cure for any and all cognitive dissonance.
  8. Excellent use of an unused but very beautiful old church. https://www.treehugger.com/interior-design/church-netherlands-converted-transformer-library-books-day-party-room-night.html
  9. Daffodil

    Much better use of a church

    That is gorgeous! Would love to dine there! ETA: Just noticed they put the giant brewery tanks in the altar area. That's awesome! And they left the Latin sign above the altar intact. My brain is just blown!
  10. Daffodil

    Aw crap! She knows.

    Just talked to my mom. She has spent her life as a mainline Christian, but is a firm believer. For those of you that don't know, my dad was a pastor in a mainline denomination until he died of cancer in 2003. One brother married a cradle catholic and now they go to a mainline church. The other brother married an evangelical and attends an evangelical church. I was an evangelical from college until a few years ago. I have avoided telling her and have managed to skirt around the issue when it has come up ever since. Well, something my daughter said the last time we were there got her thinking and she called me to ask about it. One thing lead to another and she point blank asked me if I still believed. I have to tell you all, I am so tired of lying (yes, I admit I have lied, though I hated doing it) and of trying to dodge questions to avoid difficult conversations or hurt feelings. I am just so tired of it. I told her the truth and then had three conversations in succession (we would talk, then hang up, then she'd think of something else and call me back), and now she knows. It wasn't terrible, though she had some surprisingly good questions for me! Anyway, we hung up with love and a bit of sorrow on her part, but ok. She asked me to go to church with her the next time we visit, and I said I would. It's not that much to ask as we live four hours away and only visit 3 or 4 times a year. I really don't have much concern over this except for my evangelical brother and sister-in-law. They're actually pretty mild in a lot of things, but they are strong believers and I don't know how they'll respond when my mom tells them, as I know she will. My husband was wincing as he heard my side of the phone calls, but he congratulated me on my coming clean when it was over, lol!!
  11. Daffodil

    Aw crap! She knows.

    Forgot to mention, she can be manipulative, though. She’s now trying to get me to show the movie, Heaven is for Real, to my family. She bought it for me a long time ago and I promptly put it away and forgot about it. I keep telling her none of us want to watch because it’s not our kind of movie, but because my brother and his family liked it, she insists we will too. She wanted me to promise I would show it to them and couldn’t understand why I would not promise. Sucks that it has taken me this long in life (and a deconversion) to learn how to deflect manipulation, but whatever.
  12. Daffodil

    Aw crap! She knows.

    Thanks! That’s a great response! It’s funny, several of you have thought it was insensitive or harsh for her to say that. I know tone does not translate online, but I didn’t take her statements as harsh at all. I thought they were quite logical. I have thought the same thing myself and have wondered what my dad would have thought if he had still been alive. As I mentioned in the OP, he was a mainline pastor, so he was pretty open minded despite his own beliefs. I like to think he would have been sad, but accepting. We’ll never know, though, and it’s pointless to speculate. My mom, however, though I adore her, is a champion worrier and more emotional, so I am used to this kind of thing from her. Thankfully, she has spent her entire life as a mainline member, so I don’t have to deal with any of that fundagelical crap from her. She’ll be the easier one to deal with.
  13. Daffodil

    Aw crap! She knows.

    She’s 79, and I was going to let her live out the rest of her days in blissful ignorance, but she figured it out. FWIW, I don’t think we owe any explanations or “confessions” to our believing friends/relatives. We live our lives as we see fit, and if they notice, then we deal with it. At least that’s how i’m dealing with it. I try not to lie, but it does get tricky. My best friend knows I don’t go to church anymore, but assumes I still believe. I know that the words “best friend” and “big secret” don’t go together, but i’m still feeling my way through this like everyone else.
  14. Daffodil

    New Game: You Might be an Ex-Christian if.....

    Oh snap! Did you really do that? Ballsy!
  15. https://pjmedia.com/faith/pope-francis-defrocks-9-ukraine-monks-for-rogue-exorcisms-following-so-called-prophetess/ Pope Francis defrocks monks for performing exorcisms without permission, but not priests for raping children. Speechless . . .
  16. Daffodil

    Aw crap! She knows.

    One of the things that I think will keep debates in check is that they know I know my bible. I was never one to rely on those stupid devotionals or letting someone else tell me what it says/means. I studied the hell out of it and asked all the “wrong” questions, which is why I struggled with doubt my entire time in the faith. I really don’t think they will try to lay any powerhouse verses on me, but who knows! I think it’s far more likely they will approach it from a guilt standpoint concerning my dad and my kids, if they address it at all. I do like your approach, though, of asking them if they would reciprocate anything they ask you to do.
  17. Daffodil

    Aw crap! She knows.

    Now see, that was beautiful and so well done. Why can't I do that!
  18. Daffodil

    Aw crap! She knows.

    I know very well why I left and told her some of that, but I'm much more eloquent in writing than I am in person, and I definitely do not have the skills in debate that so many of you here have. I'm going to try to rely on the basics - I just don't believe anymore - and hope that deflects most of it. My husband likes to respond with, "According to the Bible, faith is a gift from god. He never gave me that gift, so oh well!"
  19. Daffodil

    Aw crap! She knows.

    Thanks! My conversations with my mom were pretty interesting. She asked some questions I didn't expect. I answered them honestly and didn't fumble too bad (I'm not very good off-the-cuff, but I held my own). The most difficult question was more of an observation - I feel like your loss of faith negates everything your father believed in and lived for; do you think his life was a waste? Ummm . . . Wow. Was not expecting her to go there so quickly! I definitely fumbled my way through that one, but I suspect it will come up again.
  20. Daffodil

    Aw crap! She knows.

    Thanks!
  21. Daffodil

    Aw crap! She knows.

    Well, relief isn't quite what I'm feeling exactly. It's more mild apprehension. I can handle my mom alright, but my brother and his wife are something else. I described them as "mild" in a lot of things, but they are strong believers, homeschool their kids, pulled their sons out of the Boy Scouts over the whole gay thing, have their girls in some sort of "God's Princesses" club (sort of a Christian version of Girl Scouts where they learn domestic skills - that's not the name of it, but I can't remember what it's called), etc. Oldest son is 18 and in a serious relationship with a girl who was also homeschooled. They're both in college, and when I mentioned I hoped they wouldn't get married until they finished school, my SIL got defensive and said they got married at 21 and "everyone said we were too young but we're still together and we think it was god's will". Yeah, whatever. Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it's a good idea for everyone. Anyway, we won't see them until July and I wonder what it will be like. I'm hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.
  22. Daffodil

    New Game: You Might be an Ex-Christian if.....

    If your friend knows you no longer go to church but says, "You should really try our new church. It's not like the other ones." Damn, how DO you keep your eyes from rolling!?
  23. Daffodil

    New Game: You Might be an Ex-Christian if.....

    If your friend tells you her family is under spiritual attack and you have to fight really hard not to let your eyes roll . . .
  24. Daffodil

    Pat Robertson Recovering from a Stroke

    And yet you never see news reports of adults dying because they refused treatments in favor of "god's will". Is that because it doesn't happen or because it's not as interesting?
  25. Daffodil

    Pat Robertson Recovering from a Stroke

    “A family member recognized the onset of symptoms and Dr. Robertson was rushed to the nearest stroke center.” Oh but i’m sure only god saved him. The family member and doctors had nothing to do with it. 🙄 Just once I would like to see something like this happen and the family member hold everyone back and say, “Stop! Don’t do anything! God will save him!” But of course deep down inside they know their god is a fickle bastard and just might let them die.