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SerenelyBlue

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Everything posted by SerenelyBlue

  1. Most humans are capable of meditation. Whilst in meditation (alteted state) your imagination can run away with you and you can have a sensation of being out of body too. Don't forget epilepsy, bipolar mania or schizophrenic hallucinations. I've had extraordinary bipolar manic experiences and meditation related experiences and can tell you amazing stories. It is all created by the brain.
  2. Hi xercess, nice to hear from you.
  3. This site seems to have more moderators than ordinary members. Can I be a moderator too?
  4. I came here with an earlier account as a Christian. I read articles on the ex Christian website and later joined the forum. I had a different screen name, my own name, but paranoia caused me to ask florduh to delete the account for me. In retrospect it was irrational paranoia. I didn't know I could have changed my name without creating a new account. I went in and out of hypomania, mania, and depression. My medication was inadequate. I drove everybody crazy. I had a fear of hell and the Christian god. I started reading more about the inadeqacy of the bible. I read a lot of literature criticizing and debunking the Bible. But every time the manias returned I heard good and evil voices of demons, angels and God. I saw visions, understood the meaning of the holy toungues I spoke. I was overwhelmed and reverted to Christianity. People on here were kind enough to answer my questions. This site was much busier. A lot of members. Vigorous debate. I became a deist, then an agnostic, then an agnostic atheist. I realise the psychoses were made by my own mind and not by supernatural entites. This took some time. But the mania came again and again and I was derailed. I could be Christian one moment and atheist the next. I tried to convert people on this site and was not banned once. The people here were understanding. I obtained better medication. The voices were gone. I realized my mind was responsible for the auditory and visual halucinations. I read more and debunked parts of the bible. I am now stable. I adjust my antipsychotic medicine whenever I feel a coming mania. I am a content agnostic atheist and my beliefs suit a healthy mind. I am free of religion and content. Thank you ex-c.
  5. I used to believe that even the strongest atheists fear God and hell, when I was a Christian. I am now an agnostic atheist and I don't fear the supposed hell and the Christian god. It is for real believe me. Dawkins doesn't lose sleep over God and hell. He might however lose sleep over the effects of the story of hell and God on millions of innocents like you.
  6. Easter? Don't be silly. Just an ordinary day made important by sadly delusional masses.
  7. I became a better person since losing my Christianity. I no longer hate and abhore myself for small things done wrong. I have a more realistic view over what is truly wrong and what is bullshit. For example, lusting is not the same thing as commiting adultery. Integrity comes from within, not from obeying what is ridiculously written on stone tablets. I don't constantly fear judgement and punishment from a being that disguises itself so well, that I dare say cannot be found by any human. Occams razor tells me something about why God cannot be found or seen. I no longer fear retribution and am filled with innate integrity. Thank god, god is not such an asshole as the bible says he is. Thank god that god orobably does not exist.
  8. I am very thankful that this site exists. If it weren't for this site and its amazing people I would probably have a much more bumpy road if I did deconvert at all. I hope you are well. It is nice to see many old figures still here. I wish you all the best.
  9. Christianity with its demons, spirits, angels, voice of God etc. Provided me with a whole world of crazyness to lose my mind in. With severe bipolar disorder I had psychoses in the theme of Christianity. Now that I see things clearly it is easy not to lose myself in psychosis. Christianity helped further my insanity. I guess I don't have so much trauma anymore without Christianity. What a relief. Phew....
  10. Jesus Christ Almighty! I can't believe you are still debating the same lame man made Christianity. Nice to see this site is still alive and well. May you prosper and grow and find yet better arguments why Christianity is just another man made cult. May more be freed from needless anxiety and shame.
  11. I had God moments that lasted for days. I even saw God in HD clarity. The brain can do amazing things. My bipolar manias were awesome. But that is what they were bipolar manias. If you rely on good feelings to tell you God exists it is sad. Very sad.
  12. I've never properly thanked you guys and this site for helping me to deconvert. Deconversion is best for people who are mentally ill. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for having patience with me. I haven't had one manic attack since I spoke to you last. At this stage I am fully deconverted. Christianity seems like a fairytale to me now. I have read many books by sensible non christian writers that gave me a new perspective. I am glad this site still exists. It is indeed valuable to many individuals. Anyway, my best wishes to all of you.
  13. Thank you very much. Same hobbies. Basically just reading about history, art history, photography, fiction and am thinking of buying a newer camera to perhaps take pictures. My two cameras are too old. Thank you very much everyone for your well wishes.
  14. I just wanted to say hi and tell you that since the last time that I was here (not sure how many months) I haven't had a single manic episode and I have been living a normal life. I have the correct medicine and I have a secular psychiatrist. I have very little interest in religion. I just wanted to say hi and let you know all is well.
  15. Hi and welcome. What mental illness do you have? I have bipolar disorder and have been prayed for and have even offered myself for an exorcism which didn't help. The only thing that helped me was correct medication and a secular psychiatrist. Religion just makes me have more manic episodes. It makes things worse, not better. Because of correct medication and a stress free environment I lead a pretty normal life now.
  16. Meditation will probably help. Or just an absolute awareness that karma is bull except for the subconscious.
  17. That makes sense to me thank you. One must just find a way to alter the subconscious mind then.
  18. When I don't give to charity as much as when I was a Christian, or when I commit minor sins, I always (in the back of my mind) have an irrational fear of divine retribution. But this is only an irrational fear. Right or wrong? What is your your take on Karma biting you in the ass? I refer to karma informally. As in bad deeds having bad consequences other than obvious consequences. Spiritual bad karma.
  19. I would like to know if you continued giving a share of your wealth once you knew there was no hell and Christianity is nonsense.
  20. Yes, you've got it right sdelsolray. I no longer believe Christianity makes sense. These digressions are realities bursting through.
  21. As I put my mental rambling together in writing I see they are written ramblings indeed.
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