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Wittyusername last won the day on October 18 2015

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About Wittyusername

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    UK based.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?

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  1. You're feeling very conflicted which is understandable. What many have found is that 'out of sight=out of mind' to a lot of church people. There is no need to make an announcement or write a letter or whatever. Your faith is your business and at the end of the day, most don't care unless you are directly challenging them. Let's say you used to go once a week. Cut down to once a fortnight for a couple of weeks. Then once a month for a few weeks after that, then one or two times after that. If anyone asks just say you've been busy with work, away, whatever. For your friend who you are concerned about, yes, a declaration of what you have written could make her unstable. Friendships often fade away with time, without any drama, so just let that happen here. Churchie: 'Why haven't you been coming' You: 'been busy' Churchie: Put God first ! You: 'Yes, hopefully work should ease up soon' Churchie: 'I can really feel the Spirit moving!' You: 'yes, you're right ' (in that persons mind it probably is). Churchie: 'I have a word from the Lord!' You: thanks for sharing that Churchie: 'what a powerful message ' you : it certainly was (in brainwashing) Churchie: what bible book are you reading? You: some of the gospels focusing on Jesus message of love. Avoid small groups, prayer meetings etc. Many here have found that even as a worship leader, at church three times a week plus rehearsals, no one really followed up when they left and people they thought were friends actually weren't very interested to find out why they no longer attended. all the best to you.
  2. It was just a 'jumping through hoops' thing, and in the end someone else did it. The effort required on his (former pastor's) part was copy+paste and he couldn't be arsed to do that.
  3. I know I need to get over it but bitterness is eating me up inside. There are two things I keep chewing over. 1. When I was at uni I was in a flat share with four middle class Christian girls. They had student allowances etc. but for various reasons I needed to work in order to buy food to eat and buy books. I did a night shift in a factory a few days a week and with that money I would buy food & essentials. My shifts were 7pm-7am in a factory. I would sometimes have class the same day so would try and get a few hours sleep when I got home...However these Christians would be in the room next to my bedroom at 8.30/9am having a bloody prayer meeting 'to dedicate the day to God '. They would pray in tongues and 'sing in the spirit'. I find earplugs very uncomfortable and usually take them out in my sleep anyway so don't bother. To this day I don't think the irony struck them that they are praying to be supernaturally holy, but even a gang of drugs dealers would know enough that waking someone up after night shift is incredibly selfish. 2. My husband had a monumental psychotic breakdown and it included gambling away our savings and prostitutes - male and female. It ended up in the papers...His Christian family organised a prayer meeting 'because I need to forgive him'. They have none of them lifted a finger to help and I see now that they just wanted to make sure that they were not stick with having to look after him. Our pastor told them all I was atheist a few months after all that (breach of confidence!) and they had the nerve to say 'we will pray for you now that the devil has clouded your mind'. No shame that they did fuck all to help during a crisis and actually actively made things worse. How do these people look themselves in eye in the mirror?
  4. Sorry you are in such a dark place. I am truly vile and toxic and need to be contained in my own solitude. This does not need to be a permanent state of being. Therapy is a good start.
  5. I thought I had got over the hurt of being dropped by former church people but I am still taken by surprise. It has been more than a year since I last attended, I think. Three times a week, ran Sunday school and all that jazz. I wont go into detail but I needed a two references simply to confirm I had lived at a previous address. It needed to be from someone official in the community like a doctor or employer etc. My husband predicted he would not help but I was like it's not a character reference, just a confirmation of facts requiring no effort,' why wouldn't he? I wrote to the former pastor words to the effect 'I hope this finds you all well, we are moving to a new address and I was hoping you could confirm our previous address. I've drafted "Dear Electric company, I am pastor at St God's Church and can confirm that to the best of my knowledge Jane has lived at 123 Road Lane since 2013. Yours Faithfully Pastor Jim'. If you could copy and paste that with subject line Account no. Jane smith and send it to accounts@utility.co that would be helpful. He never even replied. I ended up getting the headmaster at my kid's school to do it. This person was all like 'we are praying for you with tears' but when they realised that my tithe is not coming back were like 'fuck it'. No asking about my faith? We were dealing with a serious health problem in the family. Nothing. Just wow.
  6. Hi there. Sorry for calling you the wrong name ?. It is as simple as clicking the circle/star instead of clicking the thread title. thanks !
  7. I'm on mobile and can't see anywhere that says 'Activity' or 'unread content'. @Chitsonga a few weeks (months?) ago the whole site changed its whole look one day. I didn't change anything.
  8. Not sure where to put this. I emailed a few weeks ago I think, but had no answer. the layout of the forum has changed and before, if you clicked in a thread then left, the next time you clicked it would take you to the last place you read, I.e. New posts. Now we have to scroll down from the beginning. Is there any way to get this feature back?
  9. The Amazing Randi did an expose on faith healers, showing how they use the same techniques as magicians and stage entertainers. He even showed Peter Poppof using microphones in his ear to be told things (like addresses) about audience members, claiming it was the Holy Ghost. Peter Popoff cried a bit, repented and now he still has a mega church. People believe what they want to believe and don't let facts get in the way.
  10. The invention of lying. this is a comedy movie and I think I was already deconverted. I remember thinking 'holy shit' as the protagonist made up a religion, how people absolutely could have done this. Then it talks about how people waste their lives believing this bs the guy made up. It had been so taboo to even have a hint of doubt I had never really though of it like that.
  11. @Fuego is there any 'code' I can use to try and switch the rational mind back on?
  12. It's not even a mainstream thing. I went once, just a guy (without much charisma which makes it all the more surprising). It's probably less than 20 people. I don't want to be more specific as I may out myself which I am not ready to do.
  13. My cousin started going to this church a few years ago. They meet in a school gym. She is now at the stage of - covering her head - long clothes - no music except church CDs - no pork - no dancing - all day church on Sunday plus mid week service plus small groups plus church outings. My cousin is not married but sill in a relationship with the father of her children, who was also baptised a few months ago. I'm not sure how that adds up but cognitive dissonance is one hell of a thing. I am not that close to my cousin but care about her and am not sure what to do. I come from a family where it is essential to never talk about anything that matters and to sweep all unpleasantness under the carpet which makes it even harder. Once I tried to talk about something else to her and she had a tantrum. I saw myself going down this route before I landed up here but as many of us here have found reading the bible deeply is what leads to everything falling apart. I don't think she does read independently though. They are given verses to meditate on rather than free reading, I guess to keep them away from the sections about dashing babies against rocks, and God being the author of evil. What to do?
  14. I am using cognitive behavioural therapy to help with depression. Thanks for all your help. So far, I have reframed the statements as follows; People don't get what they deserve, they get what they get. I am one of the lucky ones not to be in immediate material want. I am alive. I will work daily to improve my life. I will work towards having the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change what I can and the noodle to know the difference.
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