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About frozen

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    I'm a 30yo student in my last year. Next fall, I'm planning on grad school. I'm currently trying to make sense of the religion I've been practicing since 2008. I was raised in a superstitious mess that made it (traditional Catholicism) seem like a refuge, and reasonably rational. I got involved in it at the ultimate low point in my life, though, and the whole thing is beginning to remind me of that vulnerable state cult members are often in when they first fall into cult involvement. It flies in the face of everything I ever stood for up to that point in my life. It was like I shattered, and they were there to sweep up the pieces into a jar. Not to put them back together, but to mulch them up so they could never be put back together again. I feel like that's what I'm trying to do now - put myself back together and remember who I am.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    That's what I'm trying to figure out
  1. Thanks, all. I've been busy making things happen for myself all week, instead of begging an obstinate god. I've made so much progress on so many fronts it's almost unbelievable to me. I'm relearning how to live. But one thing that worries me now: I have a health issue, from a head injury years ago. I've noticed my neurological functioning has not been as good. I remember this happening before during times of apostasy. This fear comes up. It's not that I'm afraid I'm being punished per se, but more that the actual state of being "in communion" had salutary effects on my brain. I've read abo
  2. I just gave an interview for a graduate research study about people who left the Catholic Church. The psychological effects, why the left, what contracts they felt were violated or not fulfilled, etc. The researcher told me I contributed greatly to the study. I'm really glad to have been able to participate, and especially now, so soon. I think I needed it, to have someone listen to me like that. And then I went on a (non-religious!) forum, and found someone was again trying to hijack my longstanding thread by showing how (a completely different, presumably evangelical) church had helped t
  3. Thank you all so much. I can't tell you how much your kindness (and sanity!) mean to me, or how relieved I was when I came back on here and found so many kind, warm, understanding replies. You make a lot of really great suggestions from what I can see. I'm just starting out, so it will take time for me to try them and figure things out as I progress down this road, but the journey so far is a mix of ups and downs. Well, I had a really hard day today. I couldn't respond this morning because I had no less than FIVE assignments due today! My last year as an undergrad is proving to be rough. So, I
  4. Hi, all. This is my first post here. So first off, I should clarify that while I've recently left the Catholic Church, I had left Hinduism (in which I was raised) prior to that, and while the former separation was painful, the latter was a terrified flight, and the terror still remains. Please, please, please do not think that it's any less destructive or any more acceptable or PC somehow to preach at me that Hinduism is OK than to preach at me that Christianity is OK. My experience with both of these religions was frankly nightmarish. Contrary to the assertions of some, misogyny, bigotry,
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