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Everything posted by knightcore

  1. Converting anyone to anything is a fool's errand. You wouldn't want to be accosted by someone Christian trying to force their side, and it's likewise for anything else. As with anything it's best for you to live genuinely and let people approach you if they want to.
  2. This is incredibly well written. I wish I could send this to my grandmother, however it would not be well received and I worry about family dynamics. This quote she sampled especially highlights what is going so desperately wrong.
  3. I mean it kinda loops back around to a lot of missionary colonization concepts. It's their way or the highway because there's no way someone as unenlightened as a non christian could be right.
  4. I think as long as you're clear about things and don't hide things (lying is a bad start to any relationship, even if by omission), yeah maybe. It could work. At the same time I can't help but remember my own attitude towards non-believers when I was very much involved in church. It was always a thing when I liked someone who didn't believe in god, or wasn't in church. Could I convince them to join? Could I save them? Was the person I was developing feelings for going to go to hell? This all caused me a lot of anxiety that I still deal with to this day despite no longer being church involved i
  5. The only real reason I decorate or do Christmas stuff other than presents is my girlfriend, but even then we have a pretty non traditional tree and decorations. When I visit my family the only thing I really enjoy is the advent wreath, and for me that's more the reflection and meditation with candles as symbolism rather than preparing for Christ. Every year though I'm infinitely thankful my family wasn't like some of the missionary families we knew who put up stern and minimalist nativities instead of trees and used the whole season to beat the True Meaning Of Christmas into everyone's brai
  6. There's a couple songs I still like, but I've never been a huge xmas music fan outside of like, billie holiday or frank sinatra.
  7. Ironically, the church plants that have come from it completely shun him at this point. So hopefully he won't be able to bounce back. But they've also lost two of the four main elders at the church too so I don't see that happening.
  8. The owner of the salon I work at now is very capital C Christian, and while this doesn't normally bleed over into the salon itself she's really hammering in the christmas stuff. Including having our front desk phone greeting being "Merry Christmas at [Salon Name]". Thankful for one of my more sane coworkers who says happy holidays instead but it's just grating to hear every day. Also I'm sick of christmas music because I'm a grinch I guess.
  9. Hey all, it's been a while! A lot has changed but I'm in a much better place than I was the last time I was super active on this site. I'm much more confident in my gender and myself, have a wonderful girlfriend, and am working as a hairstylist at a successful salon in my city. More good news to top things off, my family has left our old abusive church. The lead pastor was reprimanded last year for twisting the word for his own messages, and this year my family finally had enough. They're at a new church, but it's still much better than where they were. I know they're at least not
  10. I went through this with a lot of former missionary friends once I left the church. At the end of the day, the majority of them still respected me even if our dynamic shifted a little. If this person is really your friend, they’ll accept and love you for who you are, but there probably is gonna be a little bit of adjustment for both of you.
  11. Change will not happen without being vocal which is what she's doing. You can educate people all day long about who you are at the core, but at the end of the day you have a lot more at stake than they do. Constantly explaining and educating takes a toll emotionally and sometimes anger comes out, that's normal. Sometimes people don't want to be educated. And sometimes it's not my responsibility to tell people why I or anyone else in the LGBT community deserve common decency.
  12. I'm rarely on here anymore but just wanted to say I finally graduated cosmetology school today!!!! Some of you were keeping up with my progress so I wanted to update :)

    1. Realist


      Congratulations on that!

    2. buffettphan


      That's great news!  Congratulations!

    3. DestinyTurtle
  13. Finally put in my two weeks at my shitty job!! I am SO excited. And I'm about a month out from finishing school!!!!!

    1. TABA


      Good for you!

    2. Riven


      Yay! I'm sure that feels soooo good!!

  14. Much easier said than done. But you're right. I really don't know if it is anymore. I'm mixed parts happy and miserable when I'm there but whenever I get home the depression hits like a 16 wheeler. So logically no it's not worth the grief. Also seeing that last sentence really hit me hard even though it's something I've told myself often.
  15. I think what really stings is that my dad especially has always been hard on me and been vocally disappointed in my grades, college, and general choices even before I came out. But he is always highly supportive of one of my brothers. It's really obvious who the favorite is with him.
  16. I do think they love me I don't think that part is a lie. But I do definitely think that the definition of love is distorted. Also I'm not sure it's being withheld so much as forced? Like when I talk to my dad I can feel the strain of him trying to be normal and not talk about anything related to my being transgender. But I also feel like it will only be forced as long as I play along. I know they don't see it as transactional because they've placed all of that on me. If I ever decide I want to break off that's on me and not them because they're going to love me regardless even though the
  17. I've already tried that and it really doesn't work. I think I came off too weak honestly. But you're really right at the end of the day I can't force values on them and I think that's why I'm so resigned at this point.
  18. I've been thinking about this since I woke up and saw it and I don't... know that they do. This may sound like a silly revelation to have but they don't really? Except for being able to see my siblings? It's just understood that I go to church when I'm home out of "respect" but if I ever don't my dad throws a fit for the rest of the day and is impossible to be around. Is manipulative behavior leverage? But I guess there isn't really like. A solid reason to go home, or to put up with all of this other than obligation. This is genuinely a lot to think about and I'm glad you phrased th
  19. Yes I'm going to talk about my relationship with my parents again because apparently all I do on here is to pop in and give encouragement and then complain about my parents after I go and visit them. That said I really hate that my parents can be so actively hurtful to me but still be like "oh but we always love you". Not to mention that they also are like "God still loves you too". It's just this whole mentality that even though we're both hurting each other we still need to stay close. I really hate the God aspect because every time I go to my parents church I feel like I hear th
  20. I dumped it all on my dad on the ride to school one day. I don't recommend that approach at all. It was emotional and explosive and reactionary on my part. If I could go back and do it again, I would write a letter like I did when I came out as transgender. The best way to break your parents' hearts is with distance for you both to process in my experience. That way they can't guilt you immediately while you're still vulnerable. It gives both of you time to think things through and not hurt each other more than necessary.
  21. @older I am so incredibly sorry, that is absolutely heartbreaking. I hope the service isn't terrible, I can't imagine trying to grieve a tragedy like that with fundy overtones everywhere.
  22. It's really disheartening to hear this is such a common thing. Thanks Fundies for finding a way to exploit literally everything I suppose! Doing the lord's work by making grieving people even more miserable
  23. I don't want to get too into it because it's personal and involves my second family (roommates family) but I was at a funeral on Tuesday for someone I cared for very much with them. We were all already tense because it was going to be very baptist and involve the church a lot but I was. Just absolutely seething. You shouldn't use someone's funeral as a platform to talk about hell and how if you don't have your affairs in order that's where you're headed. And you also shouldn't constantly spout evangelist shit. It's a funeral. Everyone is grieving and trying to celebrate the life of someon
  24. Well that's not very christian of you
  25. I know this is from almost a month ago, but I wanted to share something. My best friend in high school came out to me as a lesbian when I was still veeery much a christian and I had a full blown panic attack about whether I could still be her friend or not. I told her a couple times over the course of our friendship that I thought she was going to hell and that it made me sad. It hurt her very deeply. Fast forward about eight years, we now live together and she is still one of my absolute dearest friends. We had to talk through things but she did eventually forgive me. We say a lot
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