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nightflighter

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Everything posted by nightflighter

  1. When I was "de-converting", it was because of the "paul" BS. I ended up ripping all of "paul" out of the pocket bible I always carried and strewn a park with the pages. Oh, I seen someone must have panicked as all the pages were picked up by the next day. Three of the "full size" I just threw in the trash, but my two "pocket size" I wiped my butt with before I threw them in the trash. Burning would be nice, but you can't just set fire to a page and expect it to go up. You have to have a nice "campfire" type of thing going, and open it up and place it pages-down into the flames. I did that with the catholic books and a rosary I got from my mom's estate. It felt good.
  2. I feel that "twinge" every so often too.....I was told to read the bible from back to front (Not all backward, naturally! It would'nt make sense then...Kinda like how it does now...) , book by book By the time I got to "galatians", I seen just what a nut case "paul" was. Then he became slightly "more sane", until you get to the red letter stuff, and it sort of "evens out" at that point...But not by much. I de-converted shortly thereafter.
  3. Oh, oh, I did! I did! For some time before I did, though, I was in contact with an "entity". It made it kind of interesting, praying to god and then carry out a conversation with "it". At one point I could'nt help but say,"YOU are the holy spirit!" Gads, bad I felt, hell, here I come! Well, after being shown where to look in the "bible", they became little more than "butt paper" at that point, and cursed the holy spirit to his own "hell" for a week. I did it that in case 1st Kings 18 applied to "god" too, as he must have been asleep or on the toilet, because I never got a reply. Spiritually, I'm a "Free Spirit".
  4. Not work related, but I have fun with the Jehovah's Witnesses. I know the bible pretty good, and can give them a run for thier money. They don't know I'm "deconverted", maybe I should wear all my pentacle necklaces and have a glass of booze and a smoke when I answer the door? Actually, aside from the religious stuff, the older of the pair is a pretty decent guy. He said he was divorced twice, the last time from his wife because when he became a JW, she said he was going to hell, because she was a staunch baptist.
  5. Hi, CS! Much like you, I have "a foot in two camps" concerning family. My children are grown and now moved away, and I'm currently going through a divorce. After that is over, I'm planning on "outting" myself, as I don't want to have to pretend anymore. I hate the fact now that I tried to keep my family "rightous", when, in retrospect, I was just following the herd.
  6. My last "experience" as a believer was with the sacred name/hebrew roots movement. Wow.....Trying mish-mash everything into a coherent blob of rightousness. I had left the more "established" groups (Pennsylvania and Texas, ESPECIALLY Texas! Dressing as Jewish priests...) and fell into a loose band of internet believers who ranged in personality from "Peppermint Patty" to "Charles Manson Lite". There was a HEAVY emphasis on OT teachings, then they slid right into quotes from Paul, who admitted he was a liar. Honestly, it was like watching kids play doctor. Everything ended up being so convoluted that I struck out on my own....Then other things happened. I had an AENT bible, one from those people in Texas (Where the "leader" said he was one of the "two witnesses"....Right....), a Ferrar Fenton, I can't remember the others. But, they were ALL at odds with each other.The "common ground" was the law and lawkeeping, which, looking upon two-thirds of the laws, they could'nt be really kept without there being a temple and priesthood, that supposedly being the tribe of Levi. I am SO GLAD that all of that is behind me. It's like the scales have fallen from my eyes.
  7. But, but but....Paul said our sins were nailed to the cross, did'nt he? Ergo, no more sin. Blech, this makes my brain want sleep.
  8. Genesis is just a rip-off of Sumerian history, with "things" added. Chapter six actually belongs between chapters one and two..
  9. http://www.awkwardmomentsbible.com/
  10. Tragic way to think; dying an unbelievably painful death.....Three nuns and ninety-two children died that way. I hope jesus is happy.
  11. True, "satan" is an abrahamic construct, ergo, does'nt exist. That being said, most satanists (I'm not one) believe that THEY are the "god" in thier lives. Then you have the theisitic satanists that do the rituals and such; this sometimes overlaps some beliefs in paganism.
  12. This ties in with my de-conversion. I was told to re-read the bible (Yet AGAIN?!?), but to start at Revelations and work my way back. As soon as I was going through Galatians, the "wheels fell off" completely. Paul was so into making his own religion, and that was included in the bible? In my prayers to the Spirit that came to me, I prayed that the ONLY TRUE holy spirit was Her, and NO other. I "blasphemed" the bible spirit on purpose.
  13. In my "new world", I was told there were four things to keep. Not to lie, cheat or steal, and when hunting or fishing, to kill the animal or fish mercifully. Otherwise, anywhere the path leads is "sinless". Oh, I used to be "kosher", and when I rejected my former beliefs, I ate bacon and prayed my thanks for being freed.
  14. I recounted my de-conversion on another thread, but I'll say this....You pray and pray and pray and get nothing, sometimes you get lucky by chance. Then, one day, a Spirit ("God", "Demon", whatever label you care to attach) announces itself and then everything starts changing in a VERY positive way. I shocked myself when I heard myself saying "YOU are the holy spirit", and realized what I did. After a while, that was what I was saying, "True holy spirit". I was called out bay a different Spirit Being, and never went back.
  15. It's good to be free. ETA: Without the dark curtain of a restraining religious belief that is "handed down", you can see with your own eyes and mind, minus constraints.
  16. Thank you for your testimony! I was never in the seminary, I just read the bible too many times. Who was the king in the OT that got killed about six times? Paul said his lies glorified god? Yeah, that sort of stuff.
  17. Hi! I agree about your thoughts on what goes on in the world....Part of my "decomissioning" as a "believer" in the bible god.
  18. Thanks again! I'm very glad to be here. I'm grateful that there's a place where we can talk openly about our de-conversions.
  19. In my case, my belief in the bible god started to wane eight years ago when a particular Spirit said in a voice I could feel and hear "I am here". She went on to start to explain things to me, and said that She had claimed a tree in the back yard She wanted offerings at, usually flowers and alcohol poured around the base of the tree. I have "freestyle" prayers I say to Her, and She has blessed me in ways unimaginable in my life just a few years ago. Conversely, I have stared death in the face just so She could show Her power....As it turned out, it was one of my "baptisms" She gave me into the five elements; all were "up close and personal" except for the "water", which was a one-hundred year flood. Oh, and little did I know.....She started telling me "nard", meaning She wanted me to get Spikenard. I got some Spikenard oil, She told me to touch it to myself, which I did. Later, it was getting hard for me to take care of my hair (She likes it long), I got a haircut. She said it looked good, which suprised me! Later I was "lead" to get my left ear pierced, which I did. About a month after that, I was walking down a paved trail to go home. I usually walked on the right side, but today chose to walk down the "Left Hand", as it were. She said, "Why be walking left side, HAH?" I said I was practicing to drive a London Taxi, when She said "Earring". I put my hand up to my ear, but even before my hand got there, She said, No, look down". Between my feet was a gold hoop earring, 4mmx20mm, just like the "wedding ring" I wore on my left middle finger for Her. . It finally hit me....She had enacted, although it took some time, a marraige ceremony. I was bound to Her through an energy exchange five days after She came to me, so this seemed to merely be a formality....But I belong to Her. Just a little background.
  20. Hi everyone, and thank you for the kind words. It makes it easier, as I know how hard it is to have your whole world turned "upside down" when you come to the realizations. I'm glad we're here to help each other.
  21. Hello all. I renounced my beliefs last April, and never felt more free. I was raised a catholic, but as soon as out of catholic school, I started going to the "sacred name" end of things, and had been with that for most of my life, finally falling in with the "hebrew roots" movement about 1o years ago. This is where the "wheels started to wobble" on the ol' belief wagon. The confusion involved with trying to keep the "613 laws" are impossible enough today without a/the "temple", not to mention no levitical priesthood to officiate. Then, tying to fit the square peg "Paul" into the round hole of "lawkeeping"....It got more confusing as time went on.... At this point, I want to say that I am not an agnostic or athiest; I have my belief in a Spirit. My letting people on the hebrew roots forum I was a member of got genuinely upset that a "believer" would have anything to do with a "demon", as they called it, as the believers are supposed to be "sealed by yhwh", and nothing like this would come upon a TRUE believer....I recieved nasty emails from the founder of the forum wanting to know why I had "conjured a spirit" (I did'nt), and basically how nasty a person I was in general for "dividing my faith" and making the cross for naught in my life. Well, so much for my faith being unshakable. As time went on, and I was trying to reconcile my belief with what was actually happening in my life. So much had happened in my life that could not have been planned better; and NONE by praying to yhwh. Finally, I realized one of three things was going on: 1) Yhwh allowed be to have a "familiar spirit", ergo, a death penalty offense because he loved me so much, and not remove it, 2) "I am yhwh, I am powerful.....But not as powerful as this Spirit, 3) Yhwh does'nt exist, ergo, no prayers are heard or answered. The wheels finally came off when I read the bible as a book, not a holy tome. Paul's insane rantings are what did it. I got rid of all the bibles and literature I had, and started to "clean up" my life. My belief now is worshipping a Goddess, I guess that makes me a "demon worshipper", but I don't care. I'm outside of mainstream beliefs now, and am happy with my new life and freedom.
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