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ExMachina1

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ExMachina1 last won the day on March 3 2016

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About ExMachina1

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    Movies, Computers, Editing, Writing, Bboying, Pen Spinning
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    New to this site. Looking to share my experiences.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
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  1. I decided to go because, 1. I thought itd be interesting to come to a place I use to call home, to observe how I myself now see things differently 2. the familiar feeling of being in a church, can't lie it is a good feeling, call it nostalgia 3. to see a friend I havent seen in a while. It was empowering and saddening. The prayers, the singing, the good feelings of worship and laying down the cross and imitating the life of Jesus all remind me of a time where this was truth to me, and now I am of a different mind. I felt sad seeing so many people truly believe what they're doing is right, believing in not only an illogical religion, but morally bankrupt one as well. I was sad seeing my friend (who does the sermons and all) preach the gospel of Jesus Christ; instill people with faulty knowledge. I was thinking to myself how funny it is that everyone in this room seek to exemplify God's perfect love, yet somehow seem content (even if grudgingly) with knowing their loved ones will perish for eternity. It was empowering to know that I can now listen and analyze critically what I hear with courage, and to know that I am no longer bound to ridiculous ideas.
  2. Hey everyone. So I got to thinking earlier, is justice subjective or objective? For example, does a person that commits a crime "deserve" a proportionate punishment? Or is it so because its more satisfying/maintains order in society? The conclusion I have come to is that justice is ultimately subjective, as there is no universal, objective standard on which to determine what is the most fitting response to a crime/negative action. The idea of what consequence is the most fitting to a crime appears to relate to how psychologically satisfying said consequence is (and how well it prevents the criminal from doing it again). Could you be satisfied knowing a serial murderer got a 2-day jail sentence? I'm sure almost no human would. But thats because it isnt satisfying to see them get off so easy. What do you think? I say this because I feel like the Christian concept of "sin against an infinite God requires an eternal punishment" evidently demonstrates that people created the Christian God. If justice is subjective and ultimately cannot be determined by any objective, absolute system, then the logic of sin against infinite being = infinite punishment is not only unfounded, but is like the apex of the concept of justice, which, if subjective, tells us only beings (that we know of) such as humans could have designed such an idea. Do I make sense? What do you think?
  3. This has bothered me and a comment today brought me over the edge. When I was Christian, I was plagued by the thought of my unsaved loved ones going to hell. But of course, it never of occurred to me what kind of loving God would even create a hell. Now, I am more content with nonexistence. But today I talked to a christian friend and asked them how they felt about their friends and family going to hell, and she replied with essentially "well, i warned them and god gives us free will so..". How can anyone live everyday knowing their loved ones are bound for a fate of unending torture? Like, if you saw your friend driving down a route that led to the end of a cliff, would you not frantically try to stop them even if they didn't believe you? And EVEN if you couldnt stop them, wouldnt it destroy you emotionally? So, to think your friend/family is going to ETERNAL TORTURE/SUFFERING, would it not pain you every day? How could you live with yourself? The response seriously pissed me off and all it shows me is that Christians have developed a perfect wall around the immoral elements of their own ideology. Furthermore, how can you figure God loves anyone with a supposed infinite degree of love if he's okay with sending people to hell?
  4. Hi all, been going through the motions with my deconversion. Don't get me wrong, I dont intend to ever go back to the faith, im done. But man, trying to reconstruct my perception of reality and get those religious thoughts out my head is HARD. So, I'm struggling. I do intend to get counseling. Whatever the case, I have a question about something I've been trying to figure out.As we all know, Christianity is very sexually repressive. For all my years as a Christian I felt sexual urges but did my best to repress them and felt guilty whenever I watched porn and masturbated. To cope with he fact that I was disobeying God and doing these bad things, after I did the deeds I'd tell myself I was dreaming and I never actually did anything. Yes, I would tell myself this and tried to believe it. Of course as I grew older, it got much worse. I needed to release sexual urges but I knew it was wrong. Now, After deconverting, I went crazy. I had sex with whoever and whenever. I got myself into all kinds of sexual situations. Thing is, it hasn't stopped I crave sex so much that my desire to fulfill my goals in life has been inhibited; I want to have sex all the time. It's all I think about. Now, the desire for sex and lots of it is normal, but whenever it overcomes ylur life goals and ability to think productively, it becomes a problem. And that's where I find myself right now. Is it safe to say that this is the doings of my Christian conditioning? A sort of Freud-esque unleashing of my repressed sexual desire. To some extent?
  5. At this point this thread is old, but I was rereading it and just realized how amazingly true your comment is. It really got me thinking, WHY is it that the extent of our evil is so great? Like, why are we able to comment such terrible offenses toward one another? Why couldnt the extent of our evil be nothing more than, lets say, pissing each other off, but not killing them or physically harming them? If we're our limited in our physical capabilities, like, we can't fly or shoot laser beams out of our eyes, then why couldn't there have limits on our ability to commit evil? Dude, you really really got me thinking. This is profound. What kind of God designs us so that we can commit almos an unlimited number of terrible crimes, but can't give us the ability to fly or move at superhuman speeds? How can any Christian reason this?
  6. I've been meaning to rant about this for a while.......ever since my deconversion I lost the concept of sin and evil. I don't believe in sin anymore, but what bothers is how so many Christians accept this without question. First of all, if Adam and Eve were perfect with a free will, how was it so easy for them to sin? Like, if they walked amongst their creator every day, how was disobeying him so easy? Second, after they sinned, how did all of mankind suddenly develop urges to sin? Like, according to the Bible, the human heart is wicked. But how? Adam and Eve did everything right until they were influenced to disobey and then following that everyone gained wickedness in their hearts. If the desire to sin is innate in all people, then where did it come from? How could people have just out of nowhere developed an urge to kill and destroy? Had they not sinned, would their hearts have still been wicked? Which leads to believe that according to the Bible's logic only God could have endowed them with the very wickedness he disdains. If so, how is this a loving God? This in particular was something on mind, and one of the leading elements that led to my deconversion.
  7. Thank you much everyone for the kind and helpful wofds. I already feel better. Yes it'll take time, but I def will work on enjoy this life rather than fearing what will come after it. It's a process like every thing else. And yes I will keep everyone updated on my film!
  8. So, since my deconversion I have been undergoing what I've heard being called "religious trauma syndrome", and boy, has it taken its toll. Being dedicated to a complex faith and then separating from it, is like losing an arm. I feel lost, all my previous pleasures and ambitions are boring to me now, and sometimes i feel like just leaving this life. I'm 22 years old and know I have time, but geez, this really sucks. Every now and again I get those echoes of religion: "Satan is trying to destroy you", but I know its just my mind trying to cling onto the safety net of christianity. I try not to worry about the afterlife but the fears still linger. I'm sure everyone else here has experienced this to varying degrees and I would like to know how every has dealt with it. Also, a plus side to all of this is, is that my deconversion serves as the basis for a film I'm writing and directing, so that will be fun to play with.
  9. Thank you everyone for the support. I still struggle honestly, I feel like a baby in the desert. But I also feel free, and its like the world is at my door.
  10. I agree. I just said that to make the point that no one loving would do such things. It's madness.
  11. Yeah, after really thinking about it, I just couldnt take it anymore. I would never believe anyone if they told me they loved me if they did all those things to me. Like, isnt that something you'd do to your worse, most hated enemy? Regardless, I am glad to have a found a community of like minded people.
  12. Hi all. I recently wholly deconverted from Christianity after 5 years of intense critical thinking during my (very recent) years in college. This is my story. My life has been pretty good, so my deconversion doesn't come from a traumatic experience. Instead, it comes from a simple yet powerful question I asked myself about 5 years ago. Note, previously I was a devout Christian who was certain that God had a wonderful plan for my life. I grew up in the church and have been molded by it practically since birth. I was confident in God and my faith was invulnerable. Then, while doing a casual reading of one my then favorite book of the Bible, Revelations, I asked myself "Why do the end times have to be filled with so much violence, death, and chaos? What's the point?". This seed then sprouted into a tree of questions. What is the point of suffering? Why can't life just be good for everyone, all the time, forever? Why does evil and suffering have to exist? Over the course 5 years, with intense thinking, consulting various people (christians and non), and doing research, I came to the realization that the God of Christianity is simple not real, not true, and not the being that created this Universe. While there may be a god or force responsible for existence, it most certainly (or likely) is not the God of Christianity. I want to tell you the final thought I had which confirmed my deconversion. See, I notice something about christians; Most in my experience seem to be aware of the irrationality of the Bible and Christian faith. Most seem to understand that Christianity has a lot of fundamental problems. BUT, they have cleverly developed a mental system to sidestep of all these issues, such as relying on "faith" or the idea that "God works in mysterious ways" or making alterations to their interpretations of the Bible when it fits them. But I found something I just couldn't avoid - my biggest issue, suffering. What the freak is the point of suffering? Why does an omnipotent God need suffering to exist? Most Christians tell me its the cost of sin and evil. But some point it finally hit me, there is no reason! Based on what the Bible establishes and the logic thereof, every single thing is this universe is a product of God's arbitrary ultimate power. If he wanted to, he could of made a world where suffering does not exist and would of been perfectly happy with that. Christians say God wanted to create a world where Free Will exists so that we wouldnt be robots. But thats thing, having omnipotence means that God could care less; ultimately he did what he did because he just simply felt like it. And there lies the problem of the idea of the BIBLICAL omnibenevolent God who can do virtually any and all things (like create a world where every one has sex every second of the day). In the ultimate end of things, the Bible establishes God as the creator OF EVERYTHING. I find most Christians don't seem to understand this concept. Evil, sickness, sociopathy, death, logic, illogic, happiness, irregular heart beats, chicken wings, reddit, poop, albania, satan, urine, fire, war..............are creations of God. So, in order for them to exist, a supernatural being with SUPREME power had to have created it. Even the idea of nonexistence is a creation of God, if we are to believe he is truly omnipotent. Humans, Satan, and everything cannot create on an omnipotent scale only the God, according to the bible. What I've observed is that all Christians blame suffering and the downfall of humanity on humans themselves. We are the blame for all that is wrong with the world (as well as Satan) because "we" decided to disobey God in the Garden of Eden. But if we are to accept that God is the mastermind behind creation, the alpha and omega, and is the only being with ULTIMATE power, then we have to accept that all things are his creation, including the imperfection in Adam and Eve that led them to disobey him. Some Christians speak as though sin and evil were always there alongside (going against) God, almost like separate entities. But I know this to be false. If God is ultimate, then he had to define and mold the concepts of sin and evil and place them inside of us; they couldnt of just been there. So, with all that said, this means pretty much that every single thing God does he does for an arbitrary reason. Divine Plan is Christian speak for absolutely randomness. If God is the creator of meaning, then that means that meaning is meaningless. Suffering does not have to exist. If it didn't exist, God would not lose power or be sad. The cost of sin does not have to be death, only God decided it to be. The final thought that symbolized my transition is why would a God who is stated to love me, create suffering and interweave it into the design of humans (so that its something we do to one another), then make it so that suffering is "bad" and causes unhappiness, and then endow us with an idea of "love" and logic that completely contradicts his reason for creating suffering? That is purely senseless. Its pure randomness. In fact, that's manufactured chaos. Honestly, since Christianity has been a part of me for so long, I still feel the echoes within me, a part of me is saying "this is Satan trying to stop you from believing in God". But deep deep inside, I know the truth. And yes, it hurts, my entire perception of life was built on the idea that God had a big plan for me. And now I realize that such isn't the case. Yet, my mind still craves that safety net of promised paradise. I feel lost, but freed. I'll survive.
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