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DarkBishop last won the day on December 12 2019

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About DarkBishop

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    Living in the foothills of the Appalachians in good ole Georgia
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    Personal hobbies, spending time with family, video games, Watching The Walking Dead, scuba diving, metal detecting, reloading, shooting.
  • More About Me
    I am happy to be a part of this community and look forward to talking to people who have/and are going through the same troubles that I have experienced.

    Being raised a Christian I was indoctrinated with very strong foundations in Christianity. In my teenage years I rebelled, practiced wicca for awhile, but eventually received "salvation" when I was 22. When I devoted my life to Christ I was on fire for God and eventually answered what I felt was the call to preach. I preached for ten years, had a radio ministry at one point, Did street ministry, was awana commander in one church, eventually was ordained a Bishop in the Church of God, the Gospel assembly(hence the screen name DarkBishop), and later was made assistant pastor at one of their churches.

    Its a long story but eventually I began to question my faith and left the church. I tried for 4 years to reorganize my thoughts to a point that I felt I could go back to church but couldn't. My faith never came back.

    When my son made mention that he thought the bible was BS I tried to search for archeological evidence to prove stories from the bible and was greatly disappointed that there was none for the specific event I was looking for. This lead to other searches on the God EL who was the original God of the Israelites. that was when I found out that the original mythology of EL included a whole pantheon of other Gods and Goddesses.

    This destroyed what little faith I had left. I still believe in something. I just don't know what and I highly doubt any religion on earth knows. I once said that I was spiritually broken. But I'm not. I'm renewed with the truth. De-conversion hasn't been without it's own set of troubles. Not all my family knows but my immediate family (wife, kids) do know. Not all christians in my life that know have been able to easily accept that i don't believe anymore.

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    I consider myself non-theist

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  1. I wish I could go on the Keto diet. That's right up my ally. I love meat and dairy more than bread. I've seen pictures of keto plates. My mouth waters every time. But the heart doctor already said NO on that one. LOL. it isn't good for the cholesterol at all. They want me to do the mediteranean diet. I know i spelled that wrong. sorry. But thank you for the encouragement. I'll get the lbs. off. db
  2. Yes it is @cp30rocks he is my oldest. (He's the one graduating this year) He made a profile but I don't think he's ever posted. I was looking for archeological evidence to show him the bible was true and found quite the opposite. Kinda cascaded from there. I was already questions the obvious fairy tale stories like Noah and adam n eve. but when I found out Moses was even a fable, nothing in the bible fit anymore. My Father in law is still alive, it was my mother in law that passed. But thank you for your condolences. I've been posting some the past month. I usually only do a personal update once a year tho. I had to be persona non grata for a while b/c of the lil lady. She thought you guys were keeping me from coming back to the fold, I think. Hopefully I've seen the end of those issues Lost 10 lbs the past couple weeks. Almost ready to hit the gym. Just a little more stiffness to get out of my knee. DB
  3. I'm sorry for all the bad things that happened b/c of the "Godly" decisions you felt you were making. A lot of us made those decisions and are regretting them. But in the end. You made it out of the brain washing and found someone you can be truly happy with. That life made you who you are today and probably brings a better appreciation for what you have now. Welcome to the community. It's always nice knowing that there are others just like you out there! DB
  4. Hey Everyone, I like to post an update in this forum at least once per year. I know it sucks for people to come in and ya never hear how things went after deconversion. I'm coming up on 3 years now. Last time I gave an update I mentioned how my wife and I were still having issues over my deconversion. We had a good talk early in the year in 2019 and things got better after that as faith was concerned. I still visit her church from time to time but that has gotten fewer and farther between. We were also able to buy a house last year which was awesome!! Really enjoying having my own home again. I lost my last house during the housing market crises a decade ago. But as the title of this post suggests, This year was not all good things. We had a lot of downs this year and maybe those downs were even part of what helped my wife and I get past the religious differences in some way. It probably would have been a good thing for me to have deconverted sooner to start getting healthy. For the past couple years I thought I had an ulcer in my stomach that kept coming back. The problem got worse and worse until one day I had a great uncle that passed away and was attending a funeral and I kept having chest pains. They had started extending down my left arm and that was something new. I went to the funeral and then stopped at my moms afterward. I thought........ we'll maybe I just need something on my stomach. I was fixing myself something to eat and the pain kept getting worse. Finally I just started crying because I knew something was wrong. I asked my mom to take me to the hospital. They ran the usually chest pain gambit of tests that I saw them run on my wife the year before when she had an ovarian cyst rupture which caused shooting pains into her chest. Well all the tests they ran on me came back good. They had me set up and appointment with the family physician, who set up a stress test which came back irregular. I forgot the name of the first procedure. But I went to the hospital for them to go in and see if I needed a stent but what they found was a calcified blockage they weren't prepared for. I ended up staying in the hospital two days and having a rotoblation procedure where they basically drilled the blockage out and placed a stent. They said that was the only blockage in my heart. It was an 80-90% blockage. So now I have a nice assortment of pills to deal with LOL and just so you know. Blood thinners suck!!! I only have 5 more months to deal with them tho. A couple months later my mother in law and father in law were in a bad ATV accident that left my father in law with a nasty concussion and killed my mother in law. To say the least the last half of the year was bad. especially around the holidays. My father in law is having a very hard time coming back from this, understandably so. He is working his way through the grieving process as is my wife. But it has been very painful to watch my father in law deal with his loss. You would just have to know the history I guess. Long story short, he looked for love a long time, Had a couple wives that stepped out on him with other men but eventually found love with a woman he had known most his life. only to be with her for 11 years or so and lose here like this. Just talking about it brings tears to my eyes. My wife's family is so close nit. There were probably 20+ people in the room when they took her off life support. We were all standing and crammed in. They even wheeled my father in law in so he could be with her as she passed. I"m sure that many people in a room is against ICU policy but they still let us all in. She had 8 brothers and sisters and 3 step brothers and sisters. Plus the nieces, nephews, cousins, and in laws that were able to get in the room. That was the second time I saw this happen with my wife's family. The first was when her grandfather passed. It's not the type of family dynamic you see much anymore. At least in my experience anyway. So 2019 was a roller coaster for our family. That's just the major things that happened. There were smaller issues that i'm not going to bring up. Mostly stuff that were an effect of one of the major events I've already mentioned. Moving on, For 2020 I'm going to work on the things I can control. I feel for my in laws, My wife, and my kids I really do but I have my own issues now I really have to deal with before...... Well before I end up dying basically. When I deconverted I knew that I had been unhealthy for a long time and started taking steps to help me get better. But it was to late. Now that I've fixed a couple things it's time to get serious. The holidays are over, right now I'm dealing with some knee pain. but as soon as i'm well enough to hit the tread mill it's time to get all this weight off. I know it's over ambitious but I would like to lose 100 pounds this year. I could stand to lose more. Just saying. I'm a fatty and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of always filling like crap. It's always something related to my weight that is making me feel bad. Even my knee pain now. Gout. I had a Bad flare up just before the end of the year. I actually rang in the new years laid up in bed not able to walk. At this point it's either get healthy or go ahead and start making funeral arrangements so my kids n wife don't have to. I've already started eating healthier. The past week gout has forced me to eat mostly vegetables which i plan on sticking with for some time. Another thing I can control.... I want to work on the new house. It makes me happy. Maybe I can finally start getting that meditation area set up that I wanted. I have a man cave to finish. and a house that is ours that I can help my wife decorate. I want to focus on a more stress free year in 2020 as well. I know I can't get rid of all stress. But I'll settle for less stress. I have one son Graduating this year which is awesome. Hopefully I can help guide him onto the right path for his life. And my other son graduates next year. Also I hope to spend more time on Family, my hobbies, this community, and other stuff that brings a smile to my face. I wish you all well this year. Sincerely, Dark Bishop
  5. I Highly doubt that you blasphemed God. Some Christians think that saying "God Damn" "holy shit" or "Jesus fucking Christ" are ways to blaspheme God or "the holy ghost". Others say that blaspheming the Holy Ghost is denying the call of the Holy Ghost for Salvation. I started researching this subject when I was christian looking up key words in the strongs Hebrew/greek dictionary. In the old testament it is worded that "Thou shalt not take the Lords name in vain and that anyone who Takes the Lords name in vain will not be held guiltless." If you look up the words Take and Vain, Take means to lift up and Vain means nothingness, lies, deceit. So then its "Thou shalt not lift up the Lords name in Lies, Deceit, and vanity. Fast forward to the new testament where it says anyone who Blasphemes the Holy ghost can not be forgiven. It is the exact same thing. The only way you can blaspheme the Holy Ghost is to say the Holy Ghost sent you to do something Evil. It happens all the time in cults. Ministers saying that God or the Holy ghost wants them to take your daughters virginity, or take your wife to be his, etc. That is Blaspheming the Holy Ghost and taking the Lords name in vain. It is kind of ridiculous to think that denying the pull of the "holy ghost" (which is all in your imagination anyway BTW) would be unforgivable. Most people do that a few times before they actually can't stand the guilt anymore and commit their lives. If you did it once you wouldn't be able to get "saved" that next time would you? LOL. So odds are you have not committed this sin anyway. Most people haven't even if they actually think they have. On another note, The bible is filled with brainwashing guilt trips that mess with your head. The whole prospect of a Fire and Brimstone hell didn't come into play until the new testament. After the region had been heavily influences by greek mythology and other religions with dark underworlds. There is no Hell to fear. Just don't get near a volcano and you'll never have to worry about what it feels like under the earths mantel. It was just how their mythology developed to explain volcanoes, sulfur springs, etc. To them these natural phenomena became something supernatural because they didn't have the years of scientific research we have today. Anchor your fears and Beliefs in proven fact and not in silly stories from thousands of years ago, written by ignorant people. Lets think about this logically as well. If you have this fear so badly why would you want to kill yourself? That would be like taking a high speed express ticket straight to where your afraid of going. Live your life. Don't be afraid of all these things that are just the trappings to control the people of past civilizations. It was all political propaganda to instill these fears that you have so the people would always be obedient to their rulers. The rulers controlled the scripture and their ticket to heaven. Life is a beautiful thing my friend and you should make the most of it. A book that brainwashes it's readers to the point of feeling the way you do, isn't a book worth reading. If that is God's word, I have no use for such a God or his word. I hope you find peace with this and are able to move on, living a long fruitful life as an ExChristian. Sincerly, DB
  6. It is irritating. But I try to keep in mind that in their way they care about me and want me to go to heaven. My old church is the same way. Always inviting me to church if i see them out in public. I don't get it from family b/c they don't know. I decided not to make it known to family until whenever my mother and father pass. I don't want them dying thinking that I won't be with them. I know their beliefs and they are VERY fundametalist. They make the women wear those little round doily's on their head. they wear dresses. aren't allowed to speak in church, etc. They are good people but the brain washing is very deep there. Even when I believed we couldn't discuss religion because it would still cause a fight. If anyone believes anything different from them and tries to talk about it, it turns into a debate. They also believe in a class system in heaven. Their church will be in the city because they are the true bride, but all other churches will be in heaven, just not in the city. yeah i know. its messed up. I can't risk ruining what time I have left with my parents by dropping that bomb on them. I'm very close to them and what most would call a "mama's boy" LOL DB
  7. Yes Sir, If you tell a Christian (most christians anyway) that your athiest. You might as well have said that you worship satan and practice infant sacrifice to the devil on your off days. LOL!!
  8. That's Great! I only asked because it was very different for my wife and I when I de-converted. We were both "fallen away" up until that point and it caused her to spiral back into the church. It came close to causing a divorce. But we made it through and I believe we are even closer now. I think her biggest fear was that I was going to lose all sense of morality and start cheating, beating the kids, and doing drugs like all the heathens without Jesus do (<sarcasm intended) Almost 3 years later, I'm pretty sure she sees that I'm not going to do that and I do genuinely love her. In fact this past year we celebrated our 10 year anniversary. DB
  9. Nontheist, I printed off your testimony last night at work and have been reading it since then when time permitted. First I have to thank you for such a detailed paper on the process you went through in your pilgrimage. It was very interesting and a very enjoyable read. I find it amazing how you took the truth. I can relate to you as how your various christian friends are reacting as I think that is a similar story across the board here at ExC. But I was amazed at your acceptance of it without regret. I applaud that. I was very broken when I first deconverted and was bitter, not necessarily toward Christianity, but that I had spent so many years denying myself and who i really was when I didn't need to. For a God that doesn't exist. I was also surprised to see the similarities between fundamentalist christians in the UK and fundamentalists here in the US. Apparently fundamentalism is about the same no matter where you are on the globe. I noticed you mentioned a few bible instances that influenced you along the way such as the walls of Jericho falling and how it could have been by some natural way. I'm sure you will come across some of the same article's I've read as you progress on your pilgrimage. I was surprised to find out that archeologists have determined that Jericho wouldn't have even been built during the time frame of the exodus. And if it was there it would have been a small village. Here is an interesting article I just found on the subject. https://www.haaretz.com/archaeology/MAGAZINE-is-the-bible-a-true-story-latest-archaeological-finds-yield-surprises-1.5626647 I like the terminology you use (Non-Theism). I've been calling myself agnostic buy I think your terminology is more correct because I don't believe in any "God" per say. or even any entity that would have an influence in the lives of man. If there is anything out there it is very hands off. It was great to see you giving credit to EXc for the parts this website played in your pilgrimage as well. This website has been so instrumental in the lives of people going through this process. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't found this community when I did. It made things a lot easier knowing that I wasn't alone. The wealth of knowledge and support here is what makes this site so great. I do have a question. I know you mentioned your wife and your marriage several times in the testimony. It seemed that christianity played a huge roll in both your lives. How has she taken the progress into your non-theism? Thank you again for your Extimony and I hope you enjoy the rest of your pilgrimage as much or better as the past. Sincerely, Dark Bishop
  10. I see. Probably b/c i'm using chrome book. I'll use one of the work computers, they have microsoft office on them.
  11. This sounds about like the process I went through when deconverting. Finding out the whole story of moses was a myth, plus studying that it all started out as a pantheon of gods under EL. That basically like you said. Ba'al was Yahweh's brother originally. etc. once those things come to light there isn't much else holding anything between the cowhide together. DB
  12. I would love to read your story but my computer nor my phone will open it in the format you have it in. Can you copy and paste it in the thread? I was a minister in the church as well. I wasn't in for 60 years like yourself tho thankfully
  13. Hey Midniterider, Alright so i'm one of the ones you mentioned that read something and the whole house of cards collapsed. But I was also on shaky ground before hand asking questions and already assuming the more nonsensical stories in the bible (flood of noah, tower of babel, and pretty much the whole creation) were just that. An ancient peoples story's to explain life as they knew it. Now i'm agnostic, not having any deity but just an overall belief that there still may be something in the universe to believe in. As far as switching a switch back on? I personally dont see how that is possible. It would take some grand discovery to prove that the bible was actually factual to make me believe again. There is no way I could just "switch" my belief in the bible back on. Since I've deconverted I admit i've had my emotional week points where I was at church with my wife and I prayed for someone to come up to me, say something specific that I was asking for in my prayer, and that I would believe again. After all an all powerful god should be able to relay a simple message to prove he is worthy of my worship. But alas. that never happened and science is still disproving the bible more than proving it. So here i am. Great topic Midnite DB
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