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About TruthSeeker0

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    north of the 49th
  • Interests
    photography, music, psychology, reading, outdoorsy stuff, baking, good conversation with good friends
  • More About Me
    Learning to find my genuine self, that's about it.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    I worship chocolate

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  1. TruthSeeker0


    Welcome! I write pros and cons lists, and if there's still no resolution, I will weight the items Sometimes though it does come down to gut feeling, or doing what you feel is the right decision. I absolutely love having control over my life - then again, I wasn't thinking what "god wanted me to do" for many many years before leaving the church.
  2. I have been so much happier without the need for validation. Who knows best for you? You do. Getting there can be hard though. Think of it, as a form of self respect. Needing validation can lead one down a slippery slope, where you start giving too much weight to other people's opinions, and you stop listening enough to your own needs. Especially when the people giving you validation might be Christian, and as a nonbeliever you have values and opinions that are different. It's not validation as much as trying to influence your life and control you, in that case. Here's the way I see it: I grew up, left Christianity behind, and no longer need anyone else's approval. It's just being an adult.
  3. It gets much easier, when you realize the Bible is just a book written by men way back when, to be able to control the lives of others.
  4. It's from the Daily Mail, which is not much else but a sensationalist gossip rag. Just my take on it.
  5. TruthSeeker0

    No longer ashamed

    Sure thing, feel free to pm me if you have any questions etc. @Meowmix106 My letter to my parents can be found here:
  6. TruthSeeker0

    My deconversion process... an insight!

    We tend to repeat patterns from childhood, I don't know why. The lesson to be learned here is look at the negatives in your childhood, dysfunctional family dynamics etc, and be aware of them, and what you don't want to repeat. I realized I was a "problem" to the church because I had logic and reason (which was seen as sin) - which is why the first thing I said when I "came out" was, "I have sinned in your eyes by using logic, and I don't care, and here's why..." Glad that you're figuring it out!
  7. TruthSeeker0

    Tolerance vs intolerance - where is the middle ground?

    I agree, and I think @wellnamedput it best in stating that "people participate in meaningful discussion in a respectful and thoughtful way, and that includes respect for the humanity of members of social groups being discussed in the abstract, not just individual posters". But I do think a certain percentage of us here have been misunderstood in the way that we come to our decisions or what we place more value on, or then we are understood, but in the end some members are placing higher value on their modes of operation, and since they are more thick skinned, they aren't really giving a lot of thought to the fact that some people here don't really feel their thoughts are valued. In the end, I'm not much of a debater for contentious issues and don't thrive on it. I don't enjoy it nearly as much as some people here, and leaving this community isn't actually a big deal for me if certain areas don't become more reasonable. I am mainly here for those new deconverts who need support, and no other reason, as I get a lot more out of helping other people than debating ideas. I would have no problem with ToT continuing as the place it is, if it was password protected.
  8. TruthSeeker0

    Tolerance vs intolerance - where is the middle ground?

    How is concern over the power of language and it's role in society, special pleading for one particular faction of non-believers? The odd thing is, that we agree that the use of inflammatory bigoted language etc does no real good, but there is trouble acknowledging that all sides have points and that all are valid. In any case, if my friends decide that my reasoning is less valid or not valid, because I have my own perspective and thought process, it severely damages a friendship as it includes loss of respect, which ultimately is the glue that holds things together. I do not enjoy being analyzed as someone whose thought processes are of inferior value, and not up to par. You see, it's the consideration again for how we should treat each other, with a basic level of respect, valuing that we are all different, and each bring different qualities to the table. If I'm going to sit at that table and be treated as someone who is still in training, I will find another.
  9. TruthSeeker0

    Tolerance vs intolerance - where is the middle ground?

    I was totally expecting you to say this šŸ¤£
  10. TruthSeeker0

    Tolerance vs intolerance - where is the middle ground?

    All right then, I'm talking about you INTJs here specifically, maybe we can generalize to thinkers/those who prioritize logic, maybe not. I have talked a lot with @LogicalFallacy, but I will include you both here now. Sometimes I seem to make a point, over and over, and yes it appeals more to emotion and consequences and the impact on people regarding certain behaviour in real life, but in the end I don't really feel like my point went across. Especially in regards to the fact that I'm not talking about how this or that offends me, I'm talking about how this or that behaviour or words has consequences on others and perhaps whole groups of people in society. This is why I've pointed out time and again, I have an end goal in mind regarding societal consequences, I'm not selfishly thinking "I dont like your opinion, so just shut up." On INTJs and weaknesses: "INTJs tend to have complete confidence in their thought process, because rational arguments are almost by definition correct ā€“ at least in theory. In practice, emotional considerations and history are hugely influential, and a weak point for INTJs is that they brand these factors and those who embrace them as illogical, dismissing them and considering their proponents to be stuck in some baser mode of thought, making it all but impossible to be heard."
  11. TruthSeeker0

    Tolerance vs intolerance - where is the middle ground?

    Josh, you should keep in mind that you are likely much more thick skinned, in comparison to some other types of people. It's not so much that people become intolerant of the views expressed, as that they get tired and worn down because they are idealistic and principled, and they place value on different things. And when they get exhausted, it's better for them to leave, as they feel overridden and outnumbered, and therefore it fulfills nothing for them anymore. I have been close to that myself. I rarely feel understood here (I should qualify that, I mean in certain areas on this site), and feeling understood and valued is important. And people will seek communities where they feel like they belong and they aren't constantly being challenged. At least the majority of people. Maybe you thrive on that, but not everybody does.
  12. TruthSeeker0

    Tolerance vs intolerance - where is the middle ground?

    That's about it, in a nutshell. The logical types are placing priority on tolerating such speech, and the feeler types are definitely having trouble understanding why this is so, because it does have a real consequence. How many people in America now feel empowered to voice their intolerance of people of colour, because Trump has not been very vocal at all in opposing the alt right and the opinions that they propagate. Silence appears to be assent, and in doing so, it empowers people with prejudice and intolerance to become more vocal. And if you think there isn't power in numbers, when combined with intolerance and prejudice, think again.
  13. TruthSeeker0

    Tolerance vs intolerance - where is the middle ground?

    You INTJs exhaust me a bit, you know. You are absolutely relentless in the search for knowledge, facts, data, and figuring it all out. But logic only goes so far. You should know that, if you've read the INTJ profile Thanks for the compliment, I have developed a much thicker skin after leaving religion, and being able to debate things with people that I know aren't critiquing me, but my ideas. And I have always been strong minded, it's just that now it shows more, I'm no longer the doormat I was in a lot of ways when I was religious.
  14. TruthSeeker0

    Tolerance vs intolerance - where is the middle ground?

    Hey, I wasn't say we haven't gotten anywhere. I was saying, beware of the belief that we can't go backwards.
  15. TruthSeeker0

    Tolerance vs intolerance - where is the middle ground?

    If this is actually going to turn into a debate about whether institutionalized and systemic racism exists, I'm not even going to go there. Not a topic I'm going to debate with you, but I can assure you, systemic and institutionalized racism exists, if for no other reason, for the fact that human bias exists.