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Questioner

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Planet Earth
  • Interests
    Reading, crafts, games
  • More About Me
    I am a former Christian who is still struggling even saying that I am no longer a Christian. I have been reading posts on this website and they have been very helpful to me.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Still searching

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  1. Thanks Dan Forsman. Lurking on this site has been rewarding, so I expect as I take the next step to be more active will be much more rewarding. Questioner
  2. Thank you ThereandBackAgain. That is exactly what I do - I travel to places through the internet and go to school. I'm so glad it is available now. Why was it that after I rejected the idea of hell I was still tormented by the fear of going there if I rejected christianity? The brainwashing really is powerful. You are right - I won't be posting as much as I want - but I will continue to participate by following the conversations. Questioner
  3. Riven, thanks for the welcome. Lerk, I'm sorry to hear about your wife - it's a hard disease to live with - and I mean both for you and for her. As far as the depression - it could be both a trigger and exacerbate her condition. Same with the fibro - it has other main causes, but stress can trigger it in the beginning and will trigger fibro flares. So getting away from anything that causes stress (such as religion) can help with the symptoms. I wish I could give you good advice, but if I had any I wouldn't be sick myself. Good luck to both of you. I also hope I can get some energy back - but I have found a place of peace both about christianity and about my illness. I am enjoying spending time learning more about religion and where it came from. Just wish I had more time. Questioner
  4. sdelsolray - I love that quote, it is so true. My husband grew up with a Catholic father and a Lutheran mother and was brought to both churches. He figured out as a child that it was all bullshit. Questioner
  5. Welcome to Ex-C. I'm so sorry to hear about your job in a christian school. That will make things harder for you if you cannot find an alternative position. What helped me at the beginning when I was having a lot of cognitive dissonance, I would come home every evening and get on this or other ex-c-type websites and read obsessively. For awhile after reading my thoughts would feel less crazy. Good luck with your process. Questioner
  6. Thanks everyone for your kind welcomes. MOHO - there's a lot less stress in my life since I finally found peace. And yes it is much better for my health and energy. Josh - yesterday I saw your post about comparative religions and my eyes lit up. I am very interested in this topic and it has been on my list to study. So, yes I will be there. Thanks for the reminder. Questioner
  7. Hi all! I finally decided I had better introduce myself. I am 63 years old and am disabled (I have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia). I was born to Christian parents, and raised in a conservative evangelical church – at least it wasn’t a fundamental church. When I was 8 years old I said the sinner’s prayer and became saved. I loved god so much! I loved going to church – my deconversion did not have anything to do with my experiences at church. When I was a teenager the charismatic movement came to my church – which was absolutely wonderful. I started going to a charismatic church with all the woo woo – raising of hands, speaking in tongues, casting out demons, etc. I felt so close to god and loved him even more. I knew that I would never be one of those people who backslide and go away from god. Eventually I went to a Christian college – but I never learned about the background of Christianity – they never taught me anything that would shake my faith. However, after college I hit a real rough spot in my life. I prayed and prayed to god to help me. I was so desperate, but I got no answers. I thought that god didn’t love me, that I had done something wrong. Then I met some non-christians and got to know them very well. They were such good and kind people that I didn’t know how god could send them to hell. That was the beginning of my deconversion – I stopped believing in hell. This was all back before the internet and I didn’t know there were any books that would help me. So I lived in spiritual limbo for the next 25 or so years. I dabbled in the New Age movement – that gave me some relief from my cognitive dissonance. About 5 years ago I started searching for resources to help me and I discovered this site, among others. I’ve been lurking here off and on since then – but about a year ago I created a login and started spending regular time here. I went through all the stages of feeling anger, fear, feeling like I was going crazy, and sadness. I have finally gotten to a point where I am at peace with myself and my beliefs (which I don't know what they are anymore). The only time I feel cognitive dissonance anymore is when I get a little bit into the New Age type stuff (I guess I need to find a website to help me deconvert from that!). Now my beliefs waver between being an atheist, an agnostic, and a deist. I can never be a theist again unless I find a good explanation why a god would not prevent all the truly horrible things that happen. Anyway, I am now fully disabled – my health has crashed to the point that I am almost completely bedridden. You would think that would give me lots of time to study this stuff – but I sleep 14 hours a day. When I am awake I have only a small amount of time that I can study because mental concentration wears me out as quickly as physical activity. But despite that I am still at peace and content with my life. I am focusing on trying to learn more about ancient religions and the history of the bible; mythology; and critical thinking. I wish I had time for science also (including cosmology and evolution), but I have to prioritize myself. I also have a number of questions I would like to start threads about, but with my limited time I don’t know if I would have time to respond to others’ posts. But I’m going to at least start responding in others’ threads. Anyway, that’s about it until I have time to do a full extimony.
  8. Riven - this is a great rant. You hit all the points and wrote it so clearly. Good job!
  9. Oh. My. God! I haven't laughed so hard in years! Thanks for sharing.
  10. I just read this and I can't believe it - I think I'm still in a state of shock. I've mostly been lurking here, so people don't know me, but I feel like I know some of you pretty good by reading your posts. Those posts have been very important to me and have helped me a lot. BAA was one of those people that I paid a lot of attention to his posts, and enjoyed them a lot. His understanding of science and his use of logic have been so valuable. I feel like a really big hole has been left here by his loss. He will be so missed.
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