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SeaJay last won the day on July 19

SeaJay had the most liked content!

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About SeaJay

  • Birthday 07/18/1968

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  • Gender
  • Location
    Wales, UK
  • Interests
    Carpentry, Roleplaying, Astronomy
  • More About Me
    Happily married with three children. l enjoy reading and my favourite food is Italian.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?

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  1. Thank you for the support TABA, thank you all, I really do appreciate it. This site is my greatest means of support and I’m glad and fortunate it exists. I’ve been in some horrendous situations where the suffering was so bad. I’m not sure what I would have done if this site wasn’t available. Might have had a break down or something. I might have had one to some extent. Anyway, in my opinion there are no strangers here, only friends I haven’t met yet. As they say, ‘a friend in need is a friend indeed’.
  2. Yesterday and today I’ve been feeling much better. Compared to how I have been, it’s as different as night and day. Thank you all very much for the support.
  3. Protein- different to carbs right? Only I read it has something to do with low blood sugar levels. Ok, honey on potatoes for breakfast it is then!
  4. I’ve realised that mornings are usually the worst time for me. I looked this up and (if I’ve got this right) apparently, it has something to do with cortisol (the body’s main stress hormone) and which fuels the flight or fight response we have. It’s linked to adrenal glands. Anyway, it’s at its highest first thing in the morning. Edit: And roughly 5 hours later I feel a lot calmer.
  5. That’s ok, no worries. Concerning Islam, nothing in particular, I’m just worrying in general. Tomorrow I might be worrying about another religion’s eternal punishment doctrine.
  6. You’re absolutely right. I once looked up hypnagogic and (I think the other one is called hypnapompic or something), and it definitely sounds like what I am experiencing. It’s just the uncertainty. Also, on a couple of occasions, I’ve heard a woman call my name (wasn’t my wife though). I’ve also experienced something called “exploding head syndrome”. That’s a blast! If you’ll excuse the pun
  7. Thank you for the reply and sharing your story. The fear of hell has traumatised me so much, I literally cannot have anything to do with Christianity or any of the Abrahamic faiths. Nothing at all whatsoever. For me, death has to be oblivion - nothing else. I actually caught myself believing that was what happened when you died, even when I was a practising Christian. With all the suffering, I’m more than happy for it to be oblivion. Again though, thank you very much for the reply.
  8. You are right. I practice mindfulness meditation, and read. The trick is remembering to be mindful not just when meditating.
  9. Very good point. I wish I could think this way, instead of letting the fear trip up my logical thinking process. In time perhaps.
  10. Feeling anxious this morning. Tearful almost. Just can’t shake it. What if I’m wrong? What if I’m wrong? What if I’m wrong? That kind of thing. It’s rough. Sometimes it feels like the anxiety is still there, only the focus has changed from: “Worrying Christianity is true but hoping it isn’t “ To: “Admitting Christianity probably isn’t true, but - worrying it might be.” I thought this might happen. Also, it doesn’t help that it is my belief that once you leave Christianity, you can never go back. I understand there are people who say you can, but the little research I did, lead me to believe you can’t. It’s one of the main things that stopped me crossing the line. But now I’ve done so, I might have made things worse. Im not saying I would go back. I don’t feel I could, because the suffering was intense. I cannot go back unless something unbelievably stupendous happened. It’s very telling that I don’t even want that unbelievably stupendous thing to happen. So, deep down, I don’t think Christianity is true. But I still worry that it is. What a predicament! Edit: That said, I’ve heard quite a few people say that, even now, they get moments of doubt.
  11. I don’t know. I mean, if you believe but then set out to deliberately ruin that belief, on purpose, intentionally, I think that is pretty bad. That said, I’d reached the point where I just had to do something and it was the only solution I could see. It’s still the only solution I can see. I couldn’t take much more of the suffering.
  12. It did, a little. But there was a section that said how some Jews do believe in hell and that made me anxious because that was one of the things that gave me some comfort (that Jews don’t believe in a fiery hell). Granted it was only a small section of Jews, and the rest of the book was good, but that made me a little edgy.
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