Riversong

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Riversong last won the day on May 3 2017

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About Riversong

  • Rank
    Doubter

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  • Interests
    Reading, baking, hiking
  • More About Me
    Mother of 2. Recent exC

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Nope

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  1. Riversong

    Trauma Release Exercises

    In the last month, I’ve begun doing trauma release exercises at the advice of my therapist. You can check out the site here-https://traumaprevention.com/n The idea is that, in the case of trauma, energy is trapped in the body. TRE provides a way to release that energy without re-living the emotional aspects of the trauma. I’ve found it helpful so far and have been inspired by the testimonials on the site. Just passing it along in case someone finds it useful! “TRE® is an innovative series of exercises that assist the body in releasing deep muscular patterns of stress, tension and trauma. The exercises safely activate a natural reflex mechanism of shaking or vibrating that releases muscular tension, calming down the nervous system. When this muscular shaking/vibrating mechanism is activated in a safe and controlled environment, the body is encouraged to return back to a state of balance. Tension & Trauma Releasing Exercises (or TRE®) is based on the fundamental idea, backed by research, that stress, tension and trauma is both psychological and physical. TRE®’s reflexive muscle vibrations generally feel pleasant and soothing. After doing TRE®, many people report feelings of peace and well-being. TRE® has helped many thousands of people globally. TRE® is designed to be a self-help tool that, once learned, can be used independently as needed throughout one’s life, thereby continuously supporting and promoting personal health and wellness.”
  2. Riversong

    How to find myself after Christianity (hobbies)

    It can be hard to find/rediscover hobbies after religion. I used to love cooking and for a long time after life fell apart, I wanted nothing to do with it. A year later, I’m loving it again. i try to stay flexible with hobbies. I’ve never been a person to pick one thing and stick with it. Recent things I’ve tried have been needle felting- use a special needle to repeatedly jab a ball of wool(very therapeutic, lol). Also belly dancing- look up videos by Irina on YouTube. I also live in an older house and have kept busy by painting rooms, or the wood trim. Ive watched many kdramas on the app viki. I enjoy using Pinterest. Even if I don’t pick up a particular craft, I do enjoy collecting ideas. Tryto to be patient with yourself. Losing religion is an immense change.
  3. Riversong

    Feel free for the first time in my life

    Yes! If it is of help to anyone, I learned the term scrupulosity thru this forum. It’s a type of ocd, and addressing it in that way, with my therapist, has been incredibly helpful. I can hardly fathom the amounts of emotional energy I put into religion. So glad I’m done with it.
  4. Riversong

    Feel free for the first time in my life

    Those quotations are hilarious! Thanks for sharing!
  5. Riversong

    “Why isn’t God helping you more”

    Yssss to the ptsd and religious trauma syndrome. And narcissistic parenting. An antidepressant helped me a lot as well as my therapist who is trained in trauma. She actually is a Christian, but understands the mind fuck that xianity can bring. Best wishes to you. It does get better
  6. Riversong

    Feel free for the first time in my life

    Yes- I have a vivid memory from the first week post Christian. I had left a blanket out on the line at night(sorry-Stay at home mom here). I suddenly remembered it and brought it in. In such a case, I would have thought, thank-you god! I would never have remembered that without you! That time, I thought, “great job, self.” Same thing happened like the next week when my toddler daughter broke her leg. Instead of praying the whole way to the emergency room, I talked to her and comforted her. We had a caring physician(even though I didn’t pray for that) and my daughter was fine. just talking to to a friend about how we can be ourselves ow, without having to worry about our “witness.”
  7. Riversong

    First Christmas as Ex-C

    I suppose this is my second secular Christmas. Last year, I still went along to the Christmas Eve servie. This year, not gonna happen. ptsd and social anxiety? Pretty sure I don’t need to tag along to a church service to help my mom feel better about herself. Back in therapy this month and it’s been great. Wer are planning on doing a nerd game fest Christmas Eve and then Christmas Day being Chinese food and watching Star Wars.
  8. Thanks for sharing. My husband is an army vet- I think being able to move away and come back was key for us. Good luck to you. It gets better.
  9. Riversong

    On narcissistic Christian parenting

    Thanks for sharing . Good article.
  10. Riversong

    Wife Advice Needed!

    Yessss!
  11. Riversong

    My slow liberation from the patriarchy

    Checking back in on this thread. I have brothers, but no sister. I’ve always been. Sry sensitive. I totally absorbed the lesson to achieve - but not more than your husband. Its frustrating to think about for me. If I had a dream of my own, maybe I would not have met my husband in college. Maybe I would have pursued a career. Life is hard. It’s definitely harder when there is an ironclad role that you have to play. Sending thoughts your way.
  12. Riversong

    OH, the irony of my apostacy!

    I look back and laugh at how sure I used to be about my faith, and how other people needed to have the same beliefs. Now, it really does spin my head sometimes to think about what a change my brain has done.
  13. Riversong

    My slow liberation from the patriarchy

    Even after my husband and I worked together to reconfigure our marriage, he still has to remind me sometimes that we don’t have to have the same opinion. I don’t have to stroke his ego. Dismantle the patriarchy!
  14. Riversong

    Leaving religious family

    I’ve learned a lot about boundaries in the last few years. I was raised conservative, but really took all the worst of it to heart. Of me and my 5 siblings, I would say that 3 of us are casual christians, two of us are done with it all. Thebenefit in my family is is that my parents, still conservative, aren’t really interested in the hard answers. I’m pretty sure my mom knows that I haven’t been to church in two years- she hasn’t asked me about it. I’m glad we can keep it on that level, because I truly wouldn’t know how to explain it in a way that makes sense. Maybe there isn’t such a way. At any rate, my siblings and I are much more open personally and are able to discuss things like that. Now, in my husband’s family, who functions like a cult, we disagreed with the patriarchal father and were kicked out the door. Of course, they would view it as if we were apostates that willingly left. But we have had no contact. Mostly, this is just to let you know my story. As others have said, I don’t think there are any right answers. Depression sucks- I’ve dealt with that as well. Take care of yourself.
  15. Riversong

    It's been a year-

    Yes!!!! I always thought I was one prayer or one spiritual book away from crucifying myself enough to let Jesus just shine through me. Blech! So much more positive change happened in my life as a result of science and not viewing myself as an unworthy sinner. All that self-loathing and constant prayer only kept me blind to what was happening in my life- like depression, culty in-laws, and marriage in need of a re-set. Woo! To evil!