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ag_NO_stic last won the day on November 27

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About ag_NO_stic

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    Authentic Pastafarian
  • Birthday June 6

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    Food. Life. People. Laughter.
  • More About Me
    I am Jess. My name's a good start.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Damn good sandwiches elicit "hallelujahs" from me.

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  1. ag_NO_stic

    Love Y'all

    -hugs- Take care End!
  2. ag_NO_stic

    Drifted away from God

    No one can say with 100% certainty that hell exists, but we really have no reason to think it does at all. The only reason you think so is because some dumbass taught you the concept along the way. It was introduced by humans who thought they were speaking for god or maybe even just to control other humans with fear. But we're all just making it up as we go along. In answer to your question about it getting better, YES!!! 10000%! And, unfortunately, the best healer for you here is time. I know, your mind is racing, panic comes up randomly, the fear can be stifling and overwhelming and feel like it will never end. I got a lot of good advice on this site that has come true though. Just take a breath. After that breath, take another one. No need to rush this process, it's part of getting out of the indoctrination. Continue to breathe and remind yourself that nobody has the answers. With each breath, accept that you don't have control over it. We can't control whatever it is that happens to us when we die. Christians pretend that they do, but it's honest foolishness and ignorance. If christian predestination is real, you couldn't do anything about it. If hell is contingent on your choice to believe, well you don't. You can't make yourself believe if you don't. You can't control if you are convinced or not and, if there's a supreme being, where he wants to put you assuming he gives a shit. If some kind of hell exists, it could be Thor's, the ancient egyptians, muslims....reincarnation....Jews don't even believe in it, and they believe in the christian god too. Hell will probably be more fun anyway, if we have brains in an afterlife outside of a physical realm that function enough like they do now to register pain, hell is probably air conditioned by now. Everything is going to be okay. -hug-
  3. ag_NO_stic

    Six years later, still no regrets

    The same thing happened to me, although I'm really only a little over a couple years out. I was so sincere that it broke me. I was sick of all the "christians" around me who didn't seem to give a shit about actually following Jesus or "having a relationship with god." I was all in. But all the knocking and seeking and pleading and crying and fear-filled begging opened my eyes to the kind of person that would put their "child" through that. Rabbit hole from there. I am INSANELY interested in how your parents raised you as agnostics. I might even PM you if you are willing, no pressure of course, because that's what I'm looking at with having to do the whole kids thing in the next few years. I'm in the Bible-beltish part of the south in the USA, both my parents/family and my husbands' are Christian and fairly devastated by my deconversion. Many of my friends, also many still christian, have not yet had children so I don't have many personal examples. I think the "God is what you make it" is a VERY interesting concept, I'll need to chew on this. I don't know how to broach christianity with my future kids. I don't want to taint them with my bitterness of christianity, there are some good values mingled in all the terrible ones. Enjoyed this post, welcome to the board!! I look forward to your thoughts in the future
  4. Wow, I wish I had done it this way. My heartbreak decided to come out as "fuck Jesus, fuck my christian family, fuck anybody who wants to throw down right now" panicked, rushing, "need-to-know-the-answers-right-now" way. I'm so proud of how you handled this!!!
  5. ag_NO_stic

    Wife Advice Needed!

    Hey, TABA! ❤️ -hug- Have you considered asking her which she'd prefer? You could just say something like, "Babe or [insert pet name here], in everything I've done so far, it's just been with the goal of being the most helpful I can be. I just want us to succeed as a team," or some personalized bullshit, I don't know how you speak to one another lol, and then just say, "Do you need my support most by "being on your side"? Are you feeling like I'm not on your side with the opinions I've shared? Just want to help and be there for you." In my opinion, this gently offers a supportive shoulder while not just shutting up or taking sides and also gives your wife the opportunity to acknowledge that she snapped at you unnecessarily. I used to tell my husband that I wanted to be able to say he was blameless when his family was being a collective asshole. I told him that they were behaving like legitimate dick bags but that, after a while, it started to be difficult to say it was only them because of how he handled it. I feel like as long as your wife sees that, in offering your opinion, you are still "on her side" she might take it differently than she is currently.
  6. ag_NO_stic

    Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays?

    Whenever pleases Satan.
  7. So I work with a VERY strong Christian. Like....exactly the same as me a few years ago. I respect him for actually attempting to live what he preaches. He doesn't evangelize with me or push his faith on me, but you can tell he is frustrated with being here on earth because "his heart is for the kingdom." Seriously, I'll be curious to see if he ever reaches out to me because he follows the same path as me. So we're talking religion and politics, the no-nos of the work world, specifically like racism and being white and stuff. He says something like, "Come on, man, you can't blame children for the something their parents did, like there's even a commandment about that in Kings!" (I think he meant Deuteronomy). I straight up said, "Yeah, that is part of the reason I am where I am with regard to faith, you know with the whole Adam thing." I think he might have missed it, it didn't click. But he was going on and on about sins of the father and all I could think was...."THAT IS WHAT YOU BELIEVE. THIS IS THE FOUNDATION OF YOUR FAITH.THIS IS YOUR RELIGION. YOU BELIEVE IN SIN BECAUSE OF ADAM. LIKE YOU BELIEVE WE DESERVE HELL BECAUSE OF ADAM. YOU BELIEVE THAT." It's like, why does this not click with him?!?! It's the same thing!!! I really hope this guy breaks out. He is so sincere, just l like I was/am, I can see it a mile away. He gives a shit, like I did. His heart is "after god's," he isn't in it for fear of hell OR heaven's reward. It's so refreshing to encounter Christians like this, regardless of how annoying it can be, because I have hope that more can eventually break out like I did. Y'all, my heart is broken for this guy more than anything else. I just wanted to share this because it bugs me so much and who else am I gonna tell.
  8. ag_NO_stic

    Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays?

    I am so relieved, y'all! I don't give a fuck either, but all the crazy Christians in my life love to make it sound like us "evil atheists" are "so offended/threatened by the Christ child" that we "avoid saying 'Christmas' at all costs," lololol. I sincerely wanted to know if it was just me that had no problem saying it. Thanks for taking time to respond!!
  9. ag_NO_stic

    Wife Update

    I just wanted to say, "your wife's beliefs are her own and you are not responsible for them." I know Christianity has a history of forcing family responsibility on the men, but you cannot worry yourself over what you have or have not "caused." If your thinking wasn't sound, your wife would reject it, she's not an idiot. If I were you, I'd take comfort in knowing that I wasn't crazy, that the person I love more than anyone else AGREED with me. Which is what happened in my marriage, my husband was very resistant at first and how now come around almost full circle to embrace my perspective. He has not gone so far as to "renounce christianity," like I did, he just doesn't care anymore. Thanks for the update!! It is always nice to know that advice on this site helped some.
  10. ag_NO_stic

    Are there a lot more men than women here?

    26 year old woman here! Got tagged by @Joshpantera.... I only don't jump in much anymore because I feel fairly solidified in what I believe and don't feel like I need as much "deconversion guidance" as I used to. If it's a question I feel comfortable answering, I do. If I'm up for a challenge or am curious, I'll post something or jump in. Otherwise, I just lurk a bit. I rarely focus on gender or demographic, I find it intriguing that you felt it was predominantly male! Welcome to our humble forum, @PurpleLilac! I hope you enjoy engaging with us as we discuss navigating life without our former religion! If you have an extimony, I'd love to read!
  11. ag_NO_stic

    Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays?

    Am I the only one on here that is not afraid of saying "Merry Christmas" even though I'm not religious anymore? It's not like I get mad if someone says "Happy holidays" to me, like they're just well wishes and good tidings, but I hate dancing around other people with my words all the time..... Just curious!
  12. ag_NO_stic


    Sorry if someone already said this, but nobody fucking knows. Like....I went through a "I HAVE TO KNOW RIGHT NOW" phase before I just realized that I will never know. Humans don't know shit. We're feces slinging monkeys.
  13. ag_NO_stic

    My Deconversion - A Cruel Test

    Your story got me very emotional. You are very eloquent and I hope and truly look forward to your feedback in the future on all kinds of topics. You captured well the rainbow of emotions you experience when you begin the process of deconverting. The fear, the anger, the shame, the longing, the questions, depression almost....I was reliving my own story. You and I are similar in many ways, except possibly that we might have some different wounds based on gender. We too were "true" believers, we rejected works based faith in favor of grace and there was very, very heavy Presbyterian influence so there was a TON of predestination and baby baptizing and god's sovereignty preached at us along with "total depravity" doctrine which fucks a person up. What is perhaps the most staggering, to me personally, is HOW LONG I was able to force down my doubts in a way that I did not even realize I was doubting. I brushed off things that sincerely bothered me, I quieted the questions, wrote off my critical thinking, and shushed the criticism of problematic doctrines. I remember even when I was YOUNG wondering why, in the bible, I was not supposed to covet because that is a sin, but that god was a "jealous god" who covets our worship. Oh well, I just don't understand like god does. I will spare you the details, of course, but I just wanted to know that your story really, really hit home with me, I can sincerely relate to it, even down the celibacy and faithfully waiting for god to bless for my restraint. Very emotional. As I said in my other post, it gets better. Things calm down, people either don't give a fuck, accept you, or they don't. You will be able to breathe again. You will feel peace again, albeit in a different way. Your wonder at the world will increase. The panic eases. The mental acrobatics you forced yourself to participate in to make things attempt to make sense to you go away, which is a relief and a freedom. Many here will tell you that we feel free now, even though we always preached to others that Jesus broke us free from our chains. Feel free, Dexter! I know you still feel closeted in more ways than one, but just put one foot in front of the other, breathe, and let time to some of the healing.
  14. Anybody else think it's funny as fuck that people pray for donuts to be "nourishing to their body." Like god literally burns people for eternity for not worshiping him for slaughtering his son-self. He does not give a fuck about your stupid donuts.