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mich

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Everything posted by mich

  1. mich

    Divorce

    Oh, No. Absolutely not. He is drenched in it. Many generations of his family. He won't even consider that it might be wrong! Oh, I see what I said in a previous post about him deprogramming. I just meant he has always believed that the man is in charge, and though HE hasn't deconverted, I have, so he will have to work with me as I will not walk under him anymore. Beside, maybe, we'll see. But not under.
  2. I am learning to. I have definitely been at suicide's door several.times.over.the last few years, even b4 my deconversion. My son's story was just so very horrible, i felt as if god had forsaken us. And i was trying to do everything so perfectly, trusting and pleasing god. I had to just twist all the ugly details into something 'pretty' like 'god knows best', or 'His plan is perfect' or 'All things happen for good to them that love the lord' etc. And then when i deconverted and had a new set of thinking skills, reality hit me in the face of what really happened. I trusted in an imaginary safet
  3. Sorry for the delay~~ It is a very long story. (so long, I am writing a book). In a nutshell...I remarried after 9 years of widowhood. My son was 12. At 15, he became very sick with a rare seizure disorder. We did take him to the hospital ( which was actually taught against at church!). Traditional med could not help him and wanted to do a hemispherectomy. I opted for alternate treatment, as I didn't want half his brain removed. He was getting better, and better. In the meantime...he and his stepfather didn't click very well. One evening when he was 17, his stepfather spanked him (not very har
  4. mich

    Divorce

    Better, thx. Sorry for the long delay. I have a hard time getting through the holidays. Things are currently ok. He is working with me, not standing in my way of doing what I feel like I need to do, learning to walk beside me as opposed to being over me. Maybe he just needs some deprogramming time.
  5. Yeah, and that part about forgiveness....some things are unforgivable.
  6. mich

    Divorce

    Thank you, i would love to be able to contact her. I'll have to check out her book. My hub is not physically abusive, but brainwashed into certain ways of thinking. He can't seem to understand my dire situation. He just looks at me like i am crazy when we do have serious talks...and i guess i look at him the same way....
  7. mich

    Divorce

    I have a couple of old friends that i dug up from the past that i talk to occassionally, it helps but i was out of the real world for 30 years so it is hard
  8. There are so very many... But smoke coming out of his nostrils (god)and fire coming out of his mouth and horns coming out of his hand...whoa! And then of, of course, the verse that tells us who created evil.. 2 samuel 22:9 Habakkuk 3:4 Isaiah 45:7
  9. And, ironically...god is not the AUTHOR of confusion....so how did he AUTHOR a confusing book?
  10. The stupidest and most dangerous thing that i did was to trust in prayer. Turn it over to god, they said. He won't let you down, they said. He doesn't need your help! they said...And now my son is dead.
  11. mich

    Divorce

    One of my problems, that i am slowly working through, is caring what everone else thinks, not wanting to hurt him, and the children, and not wanting people to think bad of me...but it's really too late for that...i lost my previous friends and family due to my behavior based on the beliefs, and when i left the church a year ago (after 30 years), i lost that community.....
  12. mich

    Divorce

    Thanks. I didn't consider that option. Yes, he keeps very close tabs on the money, and unfortunately my whereabouts.
  13. mich

    Divorce

    I want to be out from under this roof when he finds out that i want a divorce. But, someone had told me that i couldn't leave first or that would be counted as abandonment on my part and go against me in the divorce. I have my 2 youngest children 12 and 15 who i would want to take with me. I want to make it as smooth as possible for their sakes. I would ultimately be going to my home state, 500 miles away. I do plan on getting a lawyer, just wasn't sure what to expect. I guess hearing anyone else's divorce stories might help.
  14. mich

    Divorce

    Funny, the bible belt is actually home, where i am trying ro get back to...not because it's the bible belt though, lol. Can you actually divorce in a different state than where you live?
  15. mich

    Divorce

    Can anyone give any divorce advice? We are completely incompatible. This isn't an overnight decision. Much time and effort has gone into the process. I cannot be happy with him making major decisions for me for the rest of my life (woman subjugation, he is still very religious). I cannot ever be happy with him over me. And he will never be happy with anything but being over me. I am not talking piddly stuff. He took over my finances, and that of my children (i was a widow with settlement income due to the death of my first). I have to get permission (or not) to get to use my own money. He move
  16. I was just pondering the other day about sheperds and sheep... shepherds have a hidden agenda.. it's not really love..they want what they can get out of them..their wool, their meat...
  17. Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division...~jesus For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law...~jesus So every quarrel or unpeaceful event , we can blame on jesus... according to the bible.. And of course god takes the credit for all the evil and darkness .. Isaiah 45:7
  18. Yes! It is odd that we went out to church all those years and heard only 1% of what is in the book... considering one verse says that "all scripture is profitable for doctrine"...
  19. I've studied it all my adult life..so for the last 30 years, mostly the last 2. That's why I am here... It only took finding 2 contradictions to convince me that a good god didn't write that book....woah..what a journey since then it has been. I kept studying it. I couldn't stop..I was curious how many MORE contradictions there were. I found hundreds. HUNDREDS of blatant contradictions. I am still finding them. After a while I began to notice the questionable behavior of god, and began to wonder just how many things the bible calls evil, sinful, and wicked...is the god of the bible guilty
  20. It would be nice to have to nonchristian friends on FB...anyone?
  21. Just signing on after a long absence... Umm, It's definitely not easy...I haven't gone since the middle of December. There were several weeks there at the beginning that wasn't noticable due to holidays, wintry weather, and an out of town funeral. But after that came the hard part. When my husband and children headed off to church and I stayed home. 2 of them frequently ask if I am going to church, and I just say, no, and am very vague. I've actually told one not to ask me anymore. I am not ready for them to know that I am never going back. I have specific reasons at this point in time fo
  22. yes, a husband, 3 sons, and a daughter. My husband and daughter are 'members of the church', 'have the holy ghost' , and another daughter married with kids of her own. She was well indoctrinated too. It won't be long before she 'knows the truth' but i'd rather go slowly, as this is SO major. Quitting church is 'giving up the holy ghost', eternally damned, etc. It will take some time for her to process, it did me. Our religion was a way of life, and now mom won't be part of it. I expect it to be devastating for my daughters. 2 of my sons already know. LOL...yes i will tell here
  23. I know this should seem simple, but what do you say when you've been going for 30 years and all of a sudden you won't be going back? One concern is my children that, unfortunately, I indoctrinated very well. My 14 yo daughter always asks, "Mom, are you going to church?", and if I'm not for some reason, she asks why? I'm not sure what I'll say. I am hoping she will know the 'truth' one day. But initially, making that transition, seems like such a huge step. All i can think of to say is, "i'm just not". This is such a MAJOR thing in our circle. I can't even imagine how it's gonna go down. It se
  24. Not sure they would understand this book so young, but i am currently using it with my teenagers....Pulling Your Own Strings by Wayne Dyer. Many discussions come up during our reading and i have had many opportunities to help them think critically, usually without even directly referring to religion. Also teach them the definitions of gullible, naive, credible, and faith....they all mean 'believing something easily without proof' ... and that gullible is the opposite of skeptical. one or the other but never both.....And if you get a chance you could point out a few of the hundreds of contradic
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