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Enlightenednow

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About Enlightenednow

  • Rank
    Curious

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Interests
    Interior Design
  • More About Me
    Ex baptist, ex catholic, ex born again christian

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Not sure

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  1. Hello LF. Thanks! Religion really affects us psychologically. It makes people blind and make us more inhumane but in ways so subtle we won't even notice. About the bible, it's impossible to believe it if you're gonna read or study it academically, which i haven't done before. Thank you for making me feel I'm not alone. ☺
  2. We're pretty much the same. When I go to church now, I just sit there and observe. And I look at the people there in a different light. I somehow feel sorry for them. Before, I can say I notice all the flaws, like if the pastor really cares, if they are just putting a show to get money from people, if who prays the hardest, if I am praying right, if God is pleased with me, with us..etc. You know what, in my church, there's a part within the service when someone would go to the stage and shout, "Are you ready to be blessed? Do you believe that God will multiply what you'll give to His church? Are you ready for the abundance that only Jesus can give? Well then if you are, I want you to raise your envelopes with your tithes and pray with me!" (Drum rolling, choir singing, organ playing in the background) Now I can't even start to think how I'd put up with something like that for years. I felt something was really wrong but I can't pinpoint what it was. They always encourage us to invite friends and family "to save more souls", but even I was embarrassed to invite my friends. Even my son who's a teenager felt it was off. Though he's still a Christian and still very active in church. Do you guys also feel that it's like we've been fooled all our lives and that we wasted too much time and effort into something so outrageously stupid? And it was right there in our face but we didn't see it or more of refused to see it? Now I find it funny. It was like being in a cult. Thanks truthseeker for welcoming me.?
  3. You nailed it DanForsman. I think my parents were too embarrassed to even admit that I was raped. They even convinced me to marry that guy. He actually asked for my hand and told my parents he's willing to marry me. It was absurd. Now that I am a mom, I can't imagine doing the same thing to my daughter. I'll protect her with my life. Society always blames the victims, you are correct. I thought this is only happening here in my country. Thank you so much and I'm pleased to meet you too.
  4. Hello Dansforman. As i am typing this we're actually on our way to church. It will be difficult to tell this to my family. They will be heartbroken. But I'm confident i will have my own perfect timing. (Omg. I almost typed in God's perfect timing. Lol.) Thank you. I've actually read some people's posts here and I gained a bit of confidence. I'm looking forward to reading more. English is actually my 2nd language and it's kinda hard to express myself here but I think most people here understand what I'm going through. I'm glad I've found this site. Thanks!
  5. Hello Shinobi. We are the same. I knew something was off with Christianity but I didn't really take the time to figure it out. Only when I decided to read about it, in a non-biblical way have I realized it's a work of fiction. English is my 2nd language and it's kinda hard to express myself fully but this pretty much sums up what happened to me.
  6. This was me before deconverting. Lol. There were no exceptions really. All of it. Something good happens, you are being blessed. Something bad happens, you are still being blessed cause Jesus wants you to learn. Something aweful happens, Jesus loves you so much that He wants you to get closer to Him and need Him even more.
  7. I actually cried when I realized I can't continue being a Christian anymore. Cause all my life, I was. And now I want to continue believing but I just can't. Because my commonsense tells me otherwise. I was depressed when I was still undecided too. But once I came up with a final decision, that this is it. I can't be manipulated by this religion anymore, that I can get through this withdrawal symptoms, my depression stopped at once. You too can do it. Promise.
  8. Hello everyone. I just decided to give up my beliefs 2 days ago but I've always felt something's off with Christianity. I was raised as a Catholic, being a Filipino, it's the religion of most people here in the Philippines. After I've graduated from Grade School, I was 13, my parents decided to become Baptists. So we we're born again. That was their term. And I thought that was the right thing to do because Catholicism has a lot of morale issues. So i was enlightened (or so I thought). Idolatry is something that Baptists don't do. Worshipping saints and Mother Mary, praying the rosary, kneeling down before wooden sculptures of Jesus or the saints are all forms of idolatry and I was glad I was enlightened. After a few years of going to church, I got depressed. I felt I was never good enough for God. Cause our pastor said God always answers prayers of deserving Christians. So when mine weren't answered, I thought I've always dissapointed God. I got raped when I was 15 and got pregnant. (I'm 36 now with 3 kids) Again, I blamed myself for not being a good enough Christian. I thought God was punishing me or letting the Devil do its works because I wasn't pleasing God enough to protect me. I didn't tell my parents right away. After 5 mos, they found out and they didn't do anything to punish the guy. They said, "let God punish him." So fast forward, I let my religion rule my life. When I decide on something I always think if I would please God or Jesus. But being depressed is something I can't get rid off. When something bad happens to me or my love ones, I always blame myself. Maybe I'm not giving enough tithes, maybe I should join more ministries, maybe I should serve God more. And then last Holy Week, "Passion Of The Christ" was on HBO. I realized the story was so stupid. I'm a writer myself and for me the plot was just so plain stupid. Why would people punish someone just because he's saying he's the Messiah? Why would they let a criminal free and punish someone like Jesus instead? Why were they taking it too personally? So I've researched about it, about His desciples and so on. My conclusion is, the Bible is fictional. All of it. After that, I've gone to church still every Sunday, but I wasn't feeling it anymore. Gladly, my depression never came back. I've never felt freer than in my life. I'm a lot happier and loving life. I appreciate myself more. My career is better, my relationships have never been better. But not until 2 days ago, have I decided to completely forget my former beliefs and accept that this is who I am now. And whatever it is that I believe now, it just feels right. It's kinda scary but I'm happier, and that's what's important. In my country, people will judge or even condemn you if you don't believe in the Bible or even Qoran. It's either you're Christian or Muslim if you're from the South part of the country. So this is my own little secret. And now I'm sharing this to all of you. Tomorrow we will all go to church. And I will be smiling while they are crying, begging God to forgive them.
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