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About freedomwalker

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  • Location
    In a better place now
  • Interests
    By necessity, navigating recovery from indoctrination with pre existing trauma.
  • More About Me
    I joined a church as an adult in my thirties. It was rather like a rock concert in a converted industrial building which had theatre lights. There were many altar calls for prayerful encounters. It was overwhelming and mixed with bible teaching and my vulnerability due to mental illness as a result of trauma, I began to experience religiosity, and scrupulosity at times as well as what I would say was alternating optimistic faith and despair.

    I left there and went on to several more churches searching for somewhere resembling the early church in Acts.

    I had little outside support and so it was all a bit of a car crash. It's taken years for me to get to a point where I have felt able to begin looking at inconsistencies and contradictions not only in christian teaching but also in myself and people I've trusted.

    I've just started being more creative and have taken up painting which is helping my health. It feels good to dream a little.

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Still undecided

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  1. Hi, does anyone know of a good secular counsellor that they can recommend?
  2. Lol...evidently the highlights are on my device! Sorry moderators.
  3. I took a screenshot of my post and it doesn't have those coloured highlights!! I would be grateful if a moderator could please take the highlights off. Thanks.
  4. Thank you for sharing particularly the verses about love from 1 Corinthians 13 and providing clear examples of how this is contradicted by behaviour of the biblical God as presented today. I do love my friends who believe but these examples really hit home. I still believe there is a love that guides and see that there are good values also in the bible, which is why and where I was struggling for so long. I think many people do not read what's really there or explain away verses that clearly demonstrate unloving behaviour with explanations like Gods ways are higher.
  5. Well essentially I cant let go of the fact that my own life changed for the better, or rather me as a person did, when I became a believer and as did other people who I know. There is more but I don't want to be in an argument, but just to say the following. I'm looking at evidence for the bible being a trustworthy record again in the light of learning and understanding about how many paradoxes are communicated in it. I'm not well read and this was something I hadn't understood before. Also I'm not an expert at all or a scholar but accounts of history
  6. Hi @Clayton_Veno, I'm sorry but I now think I was much too hasty in accepting the video I watched.....even though it seemed convincing. I cant really share further as im not permitted to post things in favour of Christianity here.
  7. Wow youve done such a lot of work and helpful research on this. I just finished watching Michael Malekin's video and it was the best one I've seen for deconversion and alleviating stress over it. I agree though that as it stands the information is overwhelming....its practically a book. I realise it would be more work again but dividing it up into several or more posts under different headings would be good and very helpful for readers, perhaps with a contents 'page'. Or, I havent read all of it so forgive me if you've already done this, but have thought of your own blo
  8. Sorry that was written in a hurry. I've read much on mental health but my ability to process information isn't what it was. Theres convincing evidence linking psychosis with trauma. I also had an experience where someone at church tried to exorcise me when I went to them for advice because I said I heard or sensed voices sometimes . Needless to say that didn't go so well. When she was commanding things out of me....on no evidence but her 'spiritual discernment' I did hear a loud male voice (and I'm female) swearing. It was pretty stressful. I didnt feel better
  9. Speaking as someone who has 'seen' and 'heard' spirits or other energies, I was very interested in what you shared. I know that my brain does not work as well these days due to trauma and so it seems that these manifestations could possibly be due to brain damage. I take medication to help hold things together so to speak. However I'm also still thinking that theres likely a spiritual reality alongside our own.
  10. Hi @Hierophant, that's incredibly helpful -thank you!! I've already ordered one of Myrkhoos' suggestions to get me started, but hope to pick something out of this comprehensive selection.
  11. Thanks very much @Myrkhoos, I appreciate your detailed response and am checking out your suggestions. All the best, FW
  12. Hi @Myrkhoos, sounds great! Thanks for your reply. I'll look into the areas you suggested, but am especially grateful for any book recommendations from anyone able to help. Yes, I do need to keep persevering with thinking skills, as I spent many years switched off by meds I was taking.
  13. I realise it's crazy to go back and forth like this but here I am back again. I looked into messianic Judaism for a short while but there seem to be so many contradictions and difficulties whichever path one takes. But having said this I listened to a really encouraging sermon today essentially about changing the world through love and selflessness. I find the work done by those wanting to help others really inspiring and am moved by peoples testimonies of this happening and how lives can be transformed. Can anyone recommend some reading to help me m
  14. Hi LostinParis, I wasnt young, but I'd just had a breakdown when I was introduced to attending church. I really wasnt thinking well and I know that there was some prosperity type teachings going on there at the time.
  15. Dear all, thanks so much for your replies. Well, ......I didnt anticipate it but reading about the historical critical method led me to thinking more again about the context of scriptures and how they should be interpreted, so I ended up turning to sites about Judaism and the Torah. When I found some sites on Messianic Judaism, i felt that what they said assured me that it would be good to settle on learning from their perspective. I do wish you well in your journeys....not sure what else to add bearing in mind the rules here ...
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