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surferdude

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About surferdude

  • Rank
    Questioner

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    California
  • Interests
    surfing, bowling, hiking, self improvement.....ect
  • More About Me
    My core is that I'm a happy easy going guy that enjoys life. However I'm going through some stuff from the past that bothers me.

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Nope!

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  1. Thanks for your response. Getting a little bit ahead seems like mediocrity to me. I say do your best. Make as much money as possible doing what you love and do it honestly. Nothing wrong with that in my opinion. I'd rather have it and not needed it than need it and not have it. I'd rather be in a position to help than be the one who needs financial help. How a person wants to live is up to the individual. It's subjective. Their is no one right way. Christians send a lot of mix messages on what is "Right" you can ask a room full of Christians what the right answer is and you'll get a bunch of different answers. I haven't been a Christian in a long time. I have no interest in being a Christian. I'd rather go to hell for who I am that go to heaven for who I'm not. I'm still recovering after a few decades of being away from this mental bullshit and I'm not giving up!
  2. It's funny to me that you're your not allowed to love money according to the bible. Let's get real! Who doesn't love money? I also love air, water, food, is that wrong too? Why is "god" so jealous? He's God! What does he have to jealous about? Selfish bastard! Lol! All I want to do is make the best honestly living I can. Doesn't sound wrong right? But I over think, over analyze, and worry if I'm doing the right thing. It sucks!
  3. It's not something I would think that most people know about. My issue relates with a few things. I understand and feel your struggle. I know it can be overcame. For me it requires therapy and action! How long have you been away from Christanity? What do you think it will take for you to feel good about you value?
  4. Hey all. Happy Thursday! I have OCD. I've had it since childhood. One segment of my OCD is Scruplosity. Scrupulosity is where Religon mixes with OCD. OCD is an anxiety disorder. It thrives on uncertainty. All religon is uncertain because none of it can be proven. OCD will always go after what a person values and create doubt, uncertainty, questioning, worse case scenarios, and fear. It can be an endless cycle. The worst part is it can cause a person to avoid the things they value. I am in the early stages of Therapy. Exposer is an instrumental part of treatment. Anyone here have this challenge?
  5. Hey all. Happy Thursday! I have OCD. I've had it since childhood. One segment of my OCD is Scruplosity. Scrupulosity is where Religon mixes with OCD. OCD is an anxiety disorder. It thrives on uncertainty. All religon is uncertain because none of it can be proven. OCD will always go after what a person values and create doubt, uncertainty, questioning, worse case scenarios, and fear. It can be an endless cycle. The worst part is it can cause a person to avoid the things they value. I am in the early stages of Therapy. Exposer is an instrumental part of treatment. Anyone here have this challenge?
  6. I promised to reply in a timely manner. Thanks for being here and allowing me to be here.
  7. I'm back! Lol! First of all I want to apologize for not replying in a timely manner. I don't want to waste anyone's time. I really appreciate everyone's input. I deserve some shit for lagging. Working on my problems isn't easy like anyone else. But I need to prioritize and put in the effort to overcome some things. My issue with money as it relates to religion is...Being taught that it's difficult for a rich man to enter into heaven thing. I was very young so I didn't have the skills to comprehend everything. But it gave me this fear of having a lot of money. I haven't been religious for almost 30 years and it still bothers me. It's like I'm trying to "crack the code" I'm trying to figure it all out which I never will. I'm worried about doing something wrong and possibly going to hell on one hand and on the other hand I don't care if I go to hell if it exists. But I still worry, question, and doubt. It's torture! I've had an anxiety disorder since I was young. I've also been diagnosed with OCD. I take medication. I just started going back to therapy. What OCD thrives on is doubt and uncertainty. I just want to live my life!
  8. Hey all. I haven't been on this site for a long time. I'm working through some issues and need some of your help/input. I'm 47 now. I was a very devoted Christian from 14 to 18. I was kinda undeveloped and immature for my age at the time. I didn't have good comprehension skills and was very gullible. Perfect for being manipulated and brainwashed. Something that I worked through was how the church and pastors taught about money. I interpreted that having a lot of money was bad so something. I have friends and know people that are very Christian and are very well off financially. So where did I go wrong? They obviously didn't get the same memo. One scripture "it's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter into heaven" I recently heard that it means that you can't buy your way into heaven. Not that if you're rich you'll go to hell. What is "God" doing anyway? Is he reading W2's? Lol! I have some good opportunities coming up. My relationship with money hasn't been a healthy one. I need to work through this. I'm worried if I don't I'm gonna be old and poor. Please help me unlearn this nonsense and learn how to move forward. Thank you!
  9. You're right. I was a Christian. Looking back its not something I wanted. I wanted to be accepted and love by people. To be apart of a group more than I wanted Christianity. But they sucked me in. Through out my life I've paid the price for it. Any particular information you would suggest?
  10. That was me to a "T". I was an easy target. Christianity has done me more harm than my worst bully.
  11. Thank you!Any particular information have you found useful?
  12. Dude that's what I'm saying! It's about fear and guilt. Wrapped in this so called package of love that is unconditional which is total horse shit! I felt like it was believe or else. It's basically like getting robbed at gunpoint. It's anything but love IMO.
  13. Hi all! My name is Casey I live in Southern California and here's my story. My Christianity phase was from 14-18. I'm now 45. I started surfing when I was 14. The surfboard I bought was from a surfshop owned by a Christian. He had bible studies on a weekly bases. For a 14 year old i was extremely nieve and gullible. Looking back I was more like 14 going on 10. I'm not putting myself down. I was just very immature. Looking back I was looking to belong to a group of people that would love me and accept me. I was bullied in Junior high and high school. I didn't have the best up bringing. My needs of food clothing and shelter was provided. But I was neglected to an extent. Dad divorced my Mom when I was 7. It pretty much destroyed me at the time. My mom had no back bone and didn't protect us kids in the best way. She developed a relationship with now my stepdad who was a complete asshole! He didn't care about us. He was all about my Mom. But we were a package deal. We the kids got the short end of it all. So I started going to Bible Study and then church. Pastors are very persuasive and I sucked it all up as complete truth without the wherewithal to question any of It! I believed what they told me word for word. It was all Calvery Chapel style of teaching which is very fundamentalist. They got me by the fear of Going to hell and being a good person wasn't good enough. Bascially I was manipulated and brainwashed. I felt like I didn't have a choice. When I left it all just before 19 I didn't have clue about the real world. I ended up making a lot of bad choices. Doing a lot of drugs. Looking for love and approval by not being who I truly am. Through out my adult life I've had religious obsessions of right and wrong that would loop in my mind at times. I don't believe in Christianity or hell. But sometimes fear it anyway. Looking back I don't feel like I was a Christian because I had no idea of what I was doing. But I've still been damaged by it. I have OCD which makes me feel like that might be the issue more than my past "Beliefs" but it's hard to say. I'm starting therapy next week to try to clear some of this up. Anyway...I'm thankful to this site and you all to be able to open up about it. Thanks, Casey
  14. You are so right! Thank you!
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