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surferdude

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Posts posted by surferdude


  1. On 9/13/2019 at 12:39 PM, Lerk said:

     

    I don't necessarily disagree with the idea that "the love of money is the root of all sorts of evil." There's a big difference between having enough to be comfortable (and not distressed) and in accumulating money at the expense of other people. The wealthiest people are often (usually?) hoarders. They aren't spending that money on building businesses that produce goods and pay wages -- they simply use their money to make more money, often at the expense of productivity and people. "Trickle-down economics" seemed like a good hypothesis, but when it was tried, the money that wealthy people got to keep in the form of lower taxes never made its way back into the economy.

     

    But that doesn't describe the average person who's just trying to get ahead a little bit. Getting ahead a little bit is about security, not greed. And not trying to get ahead a bit turns out to be really irresponsible in the long run. Some day you won't be able to work due to age! Some day you may be out of a job for some time, and will need some savings to survive that period!

     

    Of course, as you've discussed before , you're aware that your feelings aren't logical, but you seem to be asking for help overcoming them. I hope my comments have been helpful.

     

     

    Thanks for your response. Getting a little bit ahead seems like mediocrity to me. I say do your best. Make as much money as possible doing what you love and do it honestly. Nothing wrong with that in my opinion.  I'd rather have it and not needed it than need it and not have it. I'd rather be in a position to help than be the one who needs financial help. How a person wants to live is up to the individual. It's subjective. Their is no one right way. Christians send a lot of mix messages on what is "Right" you can ask a room full of Christians what the right answer is and you'll get a bunch of different answers. I haven't been a Christian in a long time. I have no interest in being a Christian. I'd rather go to hell for who I am that go to heaven for who I'm not. I'm still recovering after a few decades of being away from this mental bullshit and I'm not giving up!

    • Like 1

  2. 1 hour ago, Weezer said:

    In my opinion, in or out of religion, money is not the problem.  The "love" of it is the problem in the Bible.  Outside the Bible, a money compulsion, or addiction to it is the problem.  Perhaps what the biblical writer was referring to??   HA!  You aren't thinking of cheating people out of it, are you?  For some reason, I doubt that.

     

    It's funny to me that you're your not allowed to love money according to the bible. Let's get real! Who doesn't love money? I also love air, water, food, is that wrong too? Why is "god" so jealous? He's God! What does he have to jealous about? Selfish bastard! Lol! 

     

    All I want to do is make the best honestly living I can. Doesn't sound wrong right? But I over think, over analyze, and worry if I'm doing the right thing. It sucks!

     

    • Like 1

  3. 14 minutes ago, Lerk said:

     

    I had to look that up:

     

     

    I've never been diagnosed with anything like that, but I definitely have a guilt complex. If I'm enjoying something, I feel like I should be doing something else, or that there must be a reason I should feel guilty about it.

     

    It's not something I would think that most people know about. My issue relates with a few things. I understand and feel your struggle. I know it can be overcame. For me it requires therapy and action!

     

    How long have you been away from Christanity?

     

    What do you think it will take for you to feel good about you value?

    • Like 1

  4. Hey all. Happy Thursday! I have OCD. I've had it since childhood. One segment of my OCD is Scruplosity. Scrupulosity is where Religon mixes with OCD. OCD is an anxiety disorder. It thrives on uncertainty. All religon is uncertain because none of it can be proven. OCD will always go after what a person values and create doubt, uncertainty, questioning, worse case scenarios, and fear. It can be an endless cycle. The worst part is it can cause a person to avoid the things they value. I am in the early stages of Therapy. Exposer is an instrumental part of treatment. Anyone here have this challenge?


  5. Hey all. Happy Thursday! I have OCD. I've had it since childhood. One segment of my OCD is Scruplosity. Scrupulosity is where Religon mixes with OCD. OCD is an anxiety disorder. It thrives on uncertainty. All religon is uncertain because none of it can be proven. OCD will always go after what a person values and create doubt, uncertainty, questioning, worse case scenarios, and fear. It can be an endless cycle. The worst part is it can cause a person to avoid the things they value. I am in the early stages of Therapy. Exposer is an instrumental part of treatment. Anyone here have this challenge?


  6. I'm back! Lol! First of all I want to apologize for not replying in a timely manner. I don't want to waste anyone's time. I really appreciate everyone's input. I deserve some shit for lagging. Working on my problems isn't easy like anyone else. But I need to prioritize and put in the effort to overcome some things.

     

    My issue with money as it relates to religion is...Being taught that it's difficult for a rich man to enter into heaven thing. I was very young so I didn't have the skills to comprehend everything. But it gave me this fear of having a lot of money. I haven't been religious for almost 30 years and it still bothers me. It's like I'm trying to "crack the code" I'm trying to figure it all out which I never will. I'm worried about doing something wrong and possibly going to hell on one hand and on the other hand I don't care if I go to hell if it exists. But I still worry, question, and doubt. It's torture!

     

    I've had an anxiety disorder since I was young. I've also been diagnosed with OCD. I take medication. I just started going back to therapy. What OCD thrives on is doubt and uncertainty. I just want to live my life! 

    • Like 2

  7. Hey all. I haven't been on this site for a long time. I'm working through some issues and need some of your help/input.

     

    I'm 47 now. I was a very devoted Christian from 14 to 18. I was kinda undeveloped and immature for my age at the time. I didn't have good comprehension skills and was very gullible. Perfect for being manipulated and brainwashed. 

     

    Something that I worked through was how the church and pastors taught about money. I interpreted that having a lot of money was bad so something. I have friends and know people that are very Christian and are very well off financially. So where did I go wrong? They obviously didn't get the same memo. 

     

    One scripture "it's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter into heaven" I recently heard that it means that you can't buy your way into heaven. Not that if you're rich you'll go to hell. What is "God" doing anyway? Is he reading W2's? Lol! 

     

    I have some good opportunities coming up. My relationship with money hasn't been a healthy one. I need to work through this. I'm worried if I don't I'm gonna be old and poor. Please help me unlearn this nonsense and learn how to move forward. Thank you!


  8. 1 hour ago, Geezer said:

     

    The General Theological Question section would be good. In addition check our Dr. Bart Ehrman's books about the Bible.They are available on Amazon Kindle editions. He also has several YouTube videos. The same goes for Dr.Robert M.Price. There are many other good historical scholars to read too,  but these are two of the best historians and they have a lot of books & YouTube stuff out there. Ehrman believes Jesus was a real person, but he was just a regular human being. Price believes Jesus was just a mythical character in a mythical story. 

     

    I've listened to both sides in this debate & I think the evidence is stronger for a mythical Jesus. In other words, I think Price has the better argument in this debate.

    Thanks for the info! I'll check it out.


  9. 4 hours ago, midniterider said:

     

    Welcome, Casey.

     

    I'm glad you have identified OCD as a cause of obsessive religious thoughts. Therapy is good to inject new problem solving ideas and ways to think about a problem that you may have never considered.

     

    A Christian is someone who worships Jesus. It's not terribly complicated, though if you tell a Christian that you quit, they may try to insist that you would never want to quit if you 'really' were a Christian to begin with. But that's just their brainwashing talking. If you believed what they told you word for word, then you were a Christian. There is no magical difference between someone who believes and someone who does not believe, someone born and raised in it versus someone who believed for 5 years. Christianity is bullshit at its core, a system of emotional/mental manipulation. :)

     

    Explore the website.

     

     

    You're right. I was a Christian. Looking back its not something I wanted. I wanted to be accepted and love by people. To be apart of a group more than I wanted Christianity. But they sucked me in. Through out my life I've paid the price for it.

     

    Any particular information you would suggest?


  10. 2 hours ago, RealityCheck said:

    Welcome to Ex-C.

    The truth is, many of us were probably never really Christians either.  We were emotionally coaxed into believing or it was forced upon us growing up.  I wonder how many people actually make the choice to follow Jesus with a clear mind? 

    Dude that's what I'm saying! It's about fear and guilt. Wrapped in this so called package of love that is unconditional which is total horse shit! I felt like it was believe or else. It's basically like getting robbed at gunpoint. It's anything but love IMO.

    • Like 1

  11. Hi all! My name is Casey I live in Southern California and here's my story. My Christianity phase was from 14-18. I'm now 45. I started surfing when I was 14. The surfboard I bought was from a surfshop owned by a Christian. He had bible studies on a weekly bases. For a 14 year old i was extremely nieve and gullible. Looking back I was more like 14 going on 10. I'm not putting myself down. I was just very immature. 

     

    Looking back I was looking to belong to a group of people that would love me and accept me. I was bullied in Junior high and high school. I didn't have the best up bringing. My needs of food clothing and shelter was provided. But I was neglected to an extent. Dad divorced my Mom when I was 7. It pretty much destroyed me at the time. My mom had no back bone and didn't protect us kids in the best way. She developed a relationship with now my stepdad who was a complete asshole! He didn't care about us. He was all about my Mom. But we were a package deal. We the kids got the short end of it all.

     

    So I started going to Bible Study and then church. Pastors are very persuasive and I sucked it all up as complete truth without the wherewithal to question any of It! I believed what they told me word for word. It was all Calvery Chapel style of teaching which is very fundamentalist.

     

    They got me by the fear of Going to hell and being a good person wasn't good enough. Bascially I was manipulated and brainwashed. I felt like I didn't have a choice.

     

    When I left it all just before 19 I didn't have clue about the real world. I ended up making a lot of bad choices. Doing a lot of drugs. Looking for love and approval by not being who I truly am. 

     

    Through out my adult life I've had religious obsessions of right and wrong that would loop in my mind at times. I don't believe in Christianity or hell. But sometimes fear it anyway. 

     

    Looking back I don't feel like I was a Christian because I had no idea of what I was doing. But I've still been damaged by it. I have OCD which makes me feel like that might be the issue more than my past "Beliefs" but it's hard to say. I'm starting therapy next week to try to clear some of this up.

     

    Anyway...I'm thankful to this site and you all to be able to open up about it. 

     

    Thanks,

    Casey 🏄‍♂️

    • Like 1

  12. 8 hours ago, Weezer said:

     

    Yes, it would be.

     

     

    I would rather not give you a yes or no answer.  I encourage you to trust your your own thoughts and feelings, and act on them.  Use your brain and learn to trust your "gut" feeling.  Continually relying on other people's answers keeps you dependent on others.  

    You are so right! Thank you!


  13. 1 hour ago, Weezer said:

    Now I see why she answered as she did.  If you are comfortable with her, give it a try.  Best wishes!

    Thanks Weezer! Any additional input? Would you feel comfortable based on the information?


  14. 1 hour ago, Weezer said:

    The first thing that occurred to me is that she didn't give a yes or no answer to your question.  And it is interesting that she focused on whether therapy with you would cause HER any stress or harm, or conflicts.  Are you comfortable with her answer?

    Sorry Weezee this is the email I sent her. Now I realize I wasn't descriptive enough in my post. 

     

     

    Thank you for the quick reply!  Just FYI. I emailed you 2 days ago via psychology today's website. And I didn't get a reply. I'm not sure if you are receiving emails via psychology today. Thank you for sliding your fees I really appreciate it!

     
     I prefer mornings anyway so that would work great! Even typing this email is making me a little anxious! Ugh!
     
     I have some religious dogma issues. I haven't been a Christian since I was 18 years old. I've had some religious obsessions Almost all my life. It usually has to do with right and wrong. And worrying  About whether I'm  doing something right or not. It puts me in a lot of distress over my life. The thing that's funny is I'm not a Christian anymore and these things still bother me.
     
     Question is are you a Christian? Are you deeply religious?  I guess my worry is that if I work with a therapist That is Christian. That somehow working through these issues would be going against your beliefs. And makes me anxious that I might be putting You in a position that could be harmful. And it would be my fault. Does that make sense? Yay! Welcome to my world! Lol!
     
    I really know I can get better. It's trusting the process and staying out my head that is the problem. I need To be OK with anything and everything bad happening for me to get better. 
     
    Thanks for taking the time to read. I'll make my decision in the next email.

  15. Hey guys and gals! Life is weird right now. This isn't the first time I've been in this place. Usually it's when I'm in a growth phase and I'm resisting cause I'm scared of the worst case senerio. Thankfully I'm not in a bad place so I'm extremely grateful for that. I'm very fortunate to have a very supportive family. 

     

    I have OCD and general Anxiety. I'm pretty medicated, but thankfully no noticeable side effects. 

     

    I will be going back into therapy next Month. I need help to get me through this. I have 2 therapist lined up. Even though I haven't been been a  Christian in a very long time and don't consider myself a believer. I still have a couple of things that are Religious based that bother me. It's interfering with my life to an extent.

     

    In the past I have made a big deal about if my therapist is a Christian.  It's sabatoged me in the past. The people I have chosen in the past are professionals. If I'm to get though these issues I need to trust like I've never trusted before otherwise it's not gonna work. 

     

    I asked one of the therapist I have lined up if she's a Christian. This is what she said. 

    Hi Casey, I have worked with many clients who struggle with scrupulosity or religious obsessions, including those who struggle with Christianity-based obsessions.  I am not at all concerned with these issues causing me stress or harm, and I am not concerned about any conflicts with my own beliefs.   

     

    I am wondering if any of you guys would have issue or would care about about your Psychologists beliefs? 

     

    I know it's not about them it's about me. But id like to hear what you guys have to say. Thank you very much!


  16. 6 hours ago, Orbit said:

    The "lean not unto your own understanding" is meant, in context, to solidify the authority of the priests. It's social control, plain and simple. "We know better, don't question us". If you're trying to figure out if Christianity holds certain truths, you can take this verse from Proverbs as your guide "Be righteous, but be not thou overly righteous; for why shouldst thou destroy thyself". (Sorry about the KJV, it's what I was raised on, so it's what I remember). This gives you permission to deviate in the name of preserving your sanity. So instead of driving yourself nuts (destroying thyself) with whether or not you can question; go ahead and question.

     

    42 minutes ago, Citsonga said:

    Frankly, I'd say that everyone leans on their own understanding, including Christians. Christians' understanding is very faulty, of course, but it's still their understanding of things. 

     

    Couldn't agree More! Thanks for your prospective!

    • Like 1

  17. 5 hours ago, Orbit said:

    The "lean not unto your own understanding" is meant, in context, to solidify the authority of the priests. It's social control, plain and simple. "We know better, don't question us". If you're trying to figure out if Christianity holds certain truths, you can take this verse from Proverbs as your guide "Be righteous, but be not thou overly righteous; for why shouldst thou destroy thyself". (Sorry about the KJV, it's what I was raised on, so it's what I remember). This gives you permission to deviate in the name of preserving your sanity. So instead of driving yourself nuts (destroying thyself) with whether or not you can question; go ahead and question.

    Thank you so much for your post!


  18. 5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
    6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
     
    What do you guys think about this?
     
    How can you Trust in the Lord if their is no overwhelming evidence to proof he exists?
     
    Why would someone choose not to lean on their own understanding? It's all we Have! Christians use this to keep you from trusting your own critical thinking and reasoning. 
     
    I've been using and listening to my critical thinking much more these days trying to undo the mess Christianity has put on me. Sometimes that verse pops in my head to try and give me some reason to doubt.
     
    At this point I wanna live my life on what I believe. Not what is written in some book that was written by man that can't backed up by real evidence!
     
    I don't have time to play mind games with myself. I'm gonna go by what I believe. Who really knows who's right or wrong at this point.I'm starting to care less and less about trying to be right and just live my life.
     
    What are your thoughts?

  19. 10 hours ago, midniterider said:

     

    Sounds like emptying your mind could be on the naughty list I once saw at my Pentecostal church. Other things on the list were witchcraft, astral projection and lucid dreaming.

     

    A religion that obsesses 24/7 about Jesus would definitely take issue with meditation. Some of my more wacky churchmates felt that Satan was always on the prowl and could enter into your life via attention to anything other than Jesus. Except NFL football, of course.

     

    I think your conclusion is correct. They want your mind flooded with Jesus BS. Meditation is a threat to that.

    Agree!


  20. 14 hours ago, Fuego said:

    The church is afraid of anything unless it comes from the pulpit. The fear the "New Age" stuff, but if it comes from the pulpit disguised as the Bible, then it's fine. They fear that "Eastern mysticism", but don't really know what it is, and they don't want to know. To them it is "the Enemy" deceiving people about The Truth™. Fear is what drives the religion. They say it is love, and these days they tend to initially sell the religion based on love rather than fear, but then revert to fear quickly to keep the freshly hooked from leaving.

     

    There is no devil, there is no pissed god on a throne handing out judgments, no angels wafting about, no demons trying to get you through video games and secular music, and anything else they've feared over the 2000 years they've been pushing their snake oil.

     

    There are techniques that one can use to help calm the mind and emotions, to distract the mind from difficult situations and focus on other things. Nothing to fear about them at all. Meditation is simply putting your mind and emotional focus on something for a while to give it a rest from worry or anxiety. It helps to realize that while life brings difficult things, one can choose to focus on other things for a time. It also helps the mind process situations and work through things subconsciously while disarming the fear and whatever is perceived as a threat, or feels overwhelming. It is making a conscious choice to focus on quiet and peace in the midst of strife. That choice is the most powerful thing we have.

    Thanks for the great input!


  21. 1 hour ago, mymistake said:

    When you say "empty your mind" is there any connection to Eastern philosophy or religion?  When I saw the title I thought you might be talking about the zen meaning for "empty your mind".  When I was a Christian I would occasionally hear a pastor take a shot at Eastern religion.

     

    Either way I don't see how it could be dangerous.

    Yeah I think that might be what they were talking about. I think some Meditations might help me with my Anxiety. It makes me a little nervous about trying it. But it could be very beneficial. 

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