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LostinParis last won the day on June 29

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About LostinParis

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  • Birthday 12/29/1972

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    Travelling, gardening, swimming, sewing, cooking
  • More About Me
    Heathen. Former Catholic. Unequally yoked. Potty-mouth.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    hell no

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  1. I’m so sorry for your heartbreak. My 22 year marriage did not survive my deconversion. In the final years we fought constantly, mostly about how to raise our 3 kids. He insisted on what I consider to be religious indoctrination. Someday our kids will probably be explaining the divorce to psychiatrists. It’s painful for you now but truly you have been spared an enormous amount of future suffering. Best of luck.
  2. My ex husband had scrupulosity immediately before he went into hospital with psychosis. He was excessively praying, crossing himself, looking for “signs” of satan, etc. Scary stuff to watch. He is now a fundy christian and still thinks that mental illness can be fixed by prayer alone. Good on you for seeking professional help with what has the potential to be a debilitating disorder. Best of luck.
  3. Great information thanks @Margee. Do you consider some versions of Christianity to fit into the “cult” category?
  4. @Myrkhoos Great insights, thank-you. Can you recommend any books about cult manipulation techniques?
  5. Some Christian axioms have been appearing in my brain lately, narrated by voices from my childhood. As an ex-christian, I now recognise these phrases as in-built protective mechanisms of Christianity, burrowed deep into my subconscious, designed to drag me back to the fold. Below are a few: We cannot judge God in human terms. Apostasy is the worst of all sins. Do not put the Lord your God to the test. The fool says in his heart, "There is no God". Trust like a child. You didn’t pray with a sincere heart. Doubting Thomas. The threat of hell (this one should probably be at the top of this list). Recognising these protective mechanisms would have been helpful during my de-conversion process. Do you know of any other platitudes/protective mechanisms of Christianity? I also stumbled across this related video:
  6. I too am 47 and was indoctrinated with camels and needles and such. My catholic priest took a vow of poverty to renounce his worldly possessions. He said that “Without money we would all be rich.” How is your relationship with money unhealthy? Do you waste money? Is money dirty? The root of all evil? I choose to view my frugal attitude towards money as generally a good thing. Our dying planet does not need more consumers. I lead a simple life, growing my own food, shopping at second-hand stores, and teaching my kids to do the same. I do own my own house so of course this makes a big difference. It means that I don’t need a large income or need to work full-time. I would rather have the extra time than the extra cash. My only regret is that I haven’t saved much money for my retirement, so like you, I have some catching up to do. In past eras, extended family would look after their elderly, community would look after the poor. Perhaps that is what is meant by “Without money we would all be rich”?
  7. The christian eastern orthodox church has largely prevented this pedophilia problem by allowing priests to marry and have families. In fact I think marriage is mandatory. Are there any figures for pedophilia among married catholic marionite priests?
  8. The covering up is what disgusted me to the point of deconversion. I was told that humans are fallible and I must not to judge a religion by a few bad apples. Yeah, religions would be great if there were no people in them...
  9. How could one rule out a psychotic episode as the cause of this?
  10. I don’t think religion is a mental illness although Freud did, and I like this quote of his: “Religion is a system of wishful illusions together with a disavowal of reality, such as we find nowhere else but in a state of blissful hallucinatory confusion.”
  11. Congratulations on breaking free from what can be very powerful indoctrination. I still sometimes feel anger towards family members. For a long time I felt like I had been lied to, however I realised that they were indoctrinated too, and they honestly thought they were doing what was right. My marriage did not survive my deconversion, and in hindsight I would have said and done things differently. However I am happy now and have finally found peace. Good luck finding your peace, it will be worth the struggle.
  12. Welcome @sonickel77, Cardinal George Pell performed my confirmation when I was age 10, back when he was a priest. Many Catholics I know have decided that atheists are trying to eradicate the Catholic church, and that Pell is a victim. I ask them, Were you in the courtroom? Did you hear the evidence? I’m not drawing a conclusion because I wasn’t there. However here in Australia we have an excellent legal system and Pell had the best lawyers that money could buy. I’m not inclined to jump to his defence. I hope you continue your investigation, logic and reason made my path much clearer.
  13. Our Orthodox priest said that God gives us our moral compass. He created humans, he wrote his moral code on our hearts, our sense of right and wrong come from him. Therefore god is culpable by the very moral standards of judgement he has given us. We are justified to judge him. If he sends me to hell then so be it. I am incapable of worshipping a narcissistic bully. My ex-husband suffers from a religious form of OCD, it’s called Scrupulosity. He had a psychotic episode where he had panic attacks about hell and was hospitalised for a month. It’s difficult to use logic while in the midst of a panic attack, as your brain is not functioning normally. The good news is that a panic attack doesn’t last long. Rather than trying to push the awful feelings away I try to simply wait for the feelings to pass. I try to observe my feelings from a distance and say things to myself like, “Oh here we go again, it’s just another panic attack”. In time, the intensity and frequency of my panic attacks diminished, as I trained my brain to stop being afraid of being afraid. Are you afraid of the muslim hell? It sounds even worse than the Christian hell. No? Because you were not indoctrinated into Islam. Humans tend to avoid pain more than we seek pleasure. Fear drives us.
  14. Reading between the lines... perhaps he has realised he is gay??
  15. Hi Jane, Thank-you for sharing your thoughts. Some Christian attitudes toward the suffering of animals has always annoyed me. I was told that god created animals and nature for us to have dominion over. As if they have no value beyond their utility for us. This attitude of superiority is partly responsible for wrecking the planet. Thank-you for treating your animals well, we need more farmers like you. When a friend tells me “I’m praying for you”, I choose to hear that as “I care about you”.
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