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LostinParis last won the day on June 29

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About LostinParis

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  • Birthday 12/29/1972

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    Travelling, gardening, swimming, sewing, cooking
  • More About Me
    Heathen. Former Catholic. Unequally yoked. Potty-mouth.

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    hell no

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  1. Our Orthodox priest said that God gives us our moral compass. He created humans, he wrote his moral code on our hearts, our sense of right and wrong come from him. Therefore god is culpable by the very moral standards of judgement he has given us. We are justified to judge him. If he sends me to hell then so be it. I am incapable of worshipping a narcissistic bully. My ex-husband suffers from a religious form of OCD, it’s called Scrupulosity. He had a psychotic episode where he had panic attacks about hell and was hospitalised for a month. It’s difficult to use logic while in the midst of a panic attack, as your brain is not functioning normally. The good news is that a panic attack doesn’t last long. Rather than trying to push the awful feelings away I try to simply wait for the feelings to pass. I try to observe my feelings from a distance and say things to myself like, “Oh here we go again, it’s just another panic attack”. In time, the intensity and frequency of my panic attacks diminished, as I trained my brain to stop being afraid of being afraid. Are you afraid of the muslim hell? It sounds even worse than the Christian hell. No? Because you were not indoctrinated into Islam. Humans tend to avoid pain more than we seek pleasure. Fear drives us.
  2. Reading between the lines... perhaps he has realised he is gay??
  3. Hi Jane, Thank-you for sharing your thoughts. Some Christian attitudes toward the suffering of animals has always annoyed me. I was told that god created animals and nature for us to have dominion over. As if they have no value beyond their utility for us. This attitude of superiority is partly responsible for wrecking the planet. Thank-you for treating your animals well, we need more farmers like you. When a friend tells me “I’m praying for you”, I choose to hear that as “I care about you”.
  4. Once when my ex-husband told me that I was going to hell I said, “So it’s you who decides who goes to heaven and hell? Not god?” He never said it again. So sanctimonious!
  5. Unfortunately I have experienced this, violence is ultimately what put an end to my marriage.
  6. That’s an interesting viewpoint @Myrkhoos, I will have a think about that idea. It’s likely that religion helped our species to survive in many different ways. I read somewhere that once humans switched from hunter-gatherers to an agricultural-based society, marriage was useful to control the sexual urges of women. A husband could be confident that her offspring were genetically his, and he could pass down his property inheritance. We as a social species have a need for intimacy. Sexual urges are natural, not sinful.
  7. Wow that’s a bombshell! I too have suffered at the hands of purity culture. Sexual incompatibility contributed to the failure of my marriage. I was raised a liberal Christian and was not a virgin when I married however I made the mistake of marrying a virgin from a fundamentalist family. There was physical attraction and much mutual masturbation before marriage however he convinced me that delaying sex until our wedding night was the best thing to do. I was young and naive and I agreed. Of course his feelings of guilt and layers of shame around sex did not magically disappear after we were married. Sex was infrequent, boring and he was not open to experimentation unless he was drunk, which made him less prudish and paranoid. I longed to make love with abandon, without restrictions, but was left feeling incredibly disappointed and rejected. And resentful.
  8. Thanks for your responses, I am feeling less hurt and angry now. Who knows, maybe I will even reach a state where I give zero fucks. I realised that the “You’re either with us or against us” mindset of many christians allows them to justify spreading gossip about ex-christians.
  9. How have you dealt with gossip and lies coming from religious friends and family? Ouch. I’m having trouble ignoring it.
  10. My husband pulled this same crap on me 3 years ago, which was 19 years into our marriage. We are divorcing now. It’s impossible to live with a fundamentalist, every conversation turns into an argument. I strongly advise you not to have children with your bf, they will be in agony listening to you argue about how to best raise them. He will fret about their salvation, and you will become the enemy.
  11. Woah that’s amazing. I hope your good mental health continues. Wish my husband would discard his beliefs.
  12. My husband had his first psychotic episode 2 years ago. I blame the fundamentalist religious beliefs with which he was raised. Did your psychotic episodes include religious hallucinations? My husband began to experience demons and was convinced he was going to hell. He believed there was an invisible war going on between two invisible kingdoms over his invisible soul. It was bizarre to watch. He spent a month in a mental hospital on meds (thank goodness for Australia’s free health care). With Satan lurking around every corner, and god as a giant survelliance camera in the sky, it’s no wonder that many of us became crippled with anxiety and danced around the edge of sanity. My husband still clings to his faith, and is fighting against his rational nature. Cognitive dissonance is not psychologically healthy.
  13. The original sin doctrine was invented to shift the blame from god onto humans. It’s an excuse for god’s inaction on the suffering in the world. A myth is a story that tries to make sense of the world. Many religions and ancient civilisations have their own creation myths and explanations for suffering in the world, eg. inherited sin via reincarnation.
  14. It’s like breeding puppies for the sole purpose of torturing them. Congratulations for asking yourself these important questions. Perhaps you can gently ask your friends too?
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