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About LostinParis

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  • Birthday 12/29/1972

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    Travelling, gardening, swimming, sewing, cooking
  • More About Me
    Heathen. Former Catholic. Unequally yoked. Potty-mouth.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    hell no

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  1. LostinParis

    Why did she broke up with me in such a cruel and bad way?

    I agree with the others, the break-up of your relationship will be better for you in the long-term. I am unequally yoked and with three kids. My husband and I often fight about the way we raise them. This is obviously not a good for our kids. Please don’t have children with a Christian fundamentalist. Find someone who shares your views on reality. Best of luck.
  2. LostinParis

    Emotional Health While Leaving Christianity

    Source of moral code: My fundy husband teaches our kids not to lie, cheat etc. because god knows the truth and it is sinful so there will be consequences... I teach my kids not to lie, cheat etc. because they wouldn’t like it if somebody did that to them. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Sound familiar? But without the threats and giant surveilance camera in the sky.
  3. LostinParis

    Recurring fears

    About the fear of hell... Knowledge trumps fear. British Airways runs a course for people with a phobia of flying. Almost everyone who completes the course is able to subsequently board a plane with little to no fear. The participants are armed with knowledge about the science behind flying; how wings, not the engines, enable a plane to fly, how wings are designed to flex, how planes are inherently self-righting during turbulence, etc. I armed myself with knowledge about the origins of hell and Satan, and my fears eventually fell silent. And perhaps ask yourself these questions: 1. Are you afraid of the muslim hell? Why not? 2. Why didn’t god warn people about hell in the old testament? 3. Would you ever abandon your children because they didn’t praise you? 4. How could a person be “blissfully happy” in heaven knowing that their atheist child is suffering in hell? Hell just doesn’t make sense...
  4. I can empathise with you @L.B. your situation seems similar to mine. Perhaps you could compromise and see both a secular councellor and christian councellor? I deconverted more than a year ago, and I felt sure I would be divorced by now. We fought about religion daily, in front of our kids, regrettably. We eventually settled down into a new kind of normal. I am less angry and am now able to view my husband with compassion; he was indoctrinated into Christianity as a child, coerced into believing using the fear of hell. He was simply unlucky. My eldest two children are teenagers and no longer want to attend church. It feels great to be raising free-thinking kids. You may not be able to change your wife’s views but you have influence over the way your kids view the world. Surprisingly , my husband’s views have softened over the past few months, he now believes in the big bang and evolution, rather than a literal Adam and Eve. My 16 yo son is a science geek with Aspergers. He bombards my husband with science facts daily! Hang in there, hopefully it will get easier as your wife slowly accepts the situation.
  5. LostinParis

    God cannot be judged by human standards

    I love this answer! If god created us then surely our sense of right and wrong came from him. Therefore he is liable by these same standards. Unless one believes in Divine Command Theory...
  6. LostinParis

    God cannot be judged by human standards

    Yes! They say that nobody is able to know the mind of god but are quite sure that he hates homosexuals.
  7. “God cannot be judged by human standards.” “Our finite human minds are incapable of understanding the infinite.” These Christian non-answers and loopholes are often thrown at me to shut down my questioning. And it works. How best should I respond?
  8. LostinParis

    De-converting was crazy

    F-U Holy Spirit!!! Oops I guess now I too will be going to an imaginary hell for a victimless crime.
  9. LostinParis

    Is it normal?

    When I first deconverted I was swinging wildly between anger and sadness, relief and feeling stupid for believing all that stupid crap. It’s been more than 12 months and I’m feeling certain about my decision to deconvert. My husband is still a believer so I can’t escape Christianity entirely. However the emotional triggers are less frequent. Be patient, peace will come.
  10. LostinParis

    How can I deconvert my mother?

    I have had some luck using the socratic method of gently questioning my husband until he sees the contradictions of his own flawed argument. He no longer believes in a literal Adam and Eve, or Noah’s Ark. He now believes in evolution. Baby steps...
  11. LostinParis


    I asked my (ex)priest why Jesus did not condemn slavery. He replied that the old testament slavery laws were civil laws not religious laws. And that Jesus did not come to create havoc which would have resulted from reforming slavery laws. Seems legit??
  12. LostinParis

    Are All Sins Equal?

    I’m not sure if the obesity problem is entirely about gluttony. There are so many other contributing factors such as our sedentary jobs, fast food being cheaper than fresh fruit and vegetables, and lack of education about how sugar plays havoc with our satiety. I’m not overweight but my sister-in-laws are. They overeat to calm their anxiety, which is caused by the sexual abuse they suffered as children. Does god judge all gluttony equally? Or does he judge each glutton according to their circumstances? IS GOD JUST?? Me thinks not...
  13. LostinParis

    Are Christians more materialistic than atheists?

    I was raised Catholic, where priests must take a vow of poverty. I often heard that it was “Easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven” (says the pope while sitting on his gold throne). I still feel guilty when I spend money on myself. However this teaching has been one of the least harmful (and perhaps even beneficial) of my Christian brainwashings. I try to live a zero-waste, minimalist lifestyle, and it makes me deliriously happy.
  14. LostinParis

    Samuel from SoCal

    Hi Samuel, Many of us here can understand your difficult upbringing, and will offer support during your deconversion process. This site has helped me to defeat my fears and look towards the future. I’m looking forward to reading more of your story.