Faeryn

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About Faeryn

  • Rank
    Doubter
  • Birthday 03/29/1987

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    UK
  • Interests
    Rock music, skateboarding, reading, art
  • More About Me
    Recovering from child Christian indoctrination from when I was at a private Christian school. Currently in therapy in part for the psychology issues it caused in me and seeking help!

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    None

Recent Profile Visitors

121 profile views
  1. #Metoo

    Why do we have to "find" these? Lol. It's a brilliant, accurate and concise description. You could copy and paste like one sentence from this into the description and it'd perfectly sum it up.
  2. Just curious about what the most difficult part of deconversion is for everyone, and what you've been doing to recover from that? The hardest part for me has been trying to erase Christian ideas of shame and guilt - the sense that I'm constantly doing something bad, even though I'm not. Intermingled with this is shame about my sexuality. I'm still new to recovering from my Christian past so I'm trying to work this out in psychotherapy.
  3. #Metoo

    It's a good point though. I mean, that's pretty much the reason why forums either don't allow such content as a rule, or if they do allow it, are very upfront with the fact that they do allow it.
  4. #Metoo

    I really should have seen this coming. "As people who have been sexually assaulted / abused, we find this pretty fucked up" "OMG SO UNREASONABLE SO ENTITLED UGH" "Okay then, how about just accurately labeling this subforum so people know what to expect from it?" "WOW. MIND BAFFLING. SO UNREASONABLE. WHERE WILL IT END??? OUTRAGEOUS DEMANDS. UGH."
  5. #Metoo

    Do you object to the notion of changing the description of this forum to better convey what goes on and what is deemed acceptable in this section? To not be able to, (or to deliberately avoid), correctly and accurately summarize the kind of discussion considered acceptable in a forum in the description seems like pretty bad management.
  6. #Metoo

    I haven't demanded anyone "buckle" to anything. If I'm considered "out of line" as a sex assault victim for finding the shit that's gone on here messed up, well, yeah, that seems pretty par for the course actually. Nothing surprising there whatsoever at this point, but I'm entitled to express my views on the matter. I agree with yunea - Things to this effect have been said here already, but for some reason it's had the least amount of engagement.
  7. #Metoo

    You just keep being puzzled dear. It'll be okay. Don't you have shitty rape memes to laugh at or something?
  8. #Metoo

    I'm literally here BECAUSE I'm damaged by Christianity. Isn't that a rather large point of this forum? Recovery from Christianity? Lol. Or did you forget?
  9. #Metoo

    It's very blatant that the desire of some ex-Christians to exercise their freedom of speech overrides the widdle fee-fees of, in this thread, victims of sexual abuse, just so the ex-Christians content in their resulting complex can have some giggles and pacify themselves that they somehow are now immune from basic social standards because they deconveted from Christianity. (Kind of funny that this looks particularly shitty for the people who like to argue the popular Christian argument of: "Where do you get your morals from without god/religion?" when it looks like you proudly just threw away a large chunk of your morals out with your belief in god). I don't buy for a moment that joking about shitty sex abuse memes involving fruit and socks is somehow indicative of some noble ex-Christian road to freedom. I think it's more the case that this indicates deep emotional damage and flat effect. It's interesting how "this sites support for ex-Christians" becomes a thing when it comes to how the site specifically supports those who want "freedom from restrains", (which is pretty much code for: "SOCKZ GOTTED RAPED LOLZ" and defending offensive jokes when OOPS! actual real-live sex abuse victims are now airing their opinions about you), but when we speak about "support" on this site, suddenly it's all "WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO SUPPORT?", etc, etc... People ARE offended. That's an entirely natural part of being human, and people have all the right in the world to be and express offence. How the fuck would we not be? It is a fact of life, and one that you also will unfortunately (!) have to deal with if you want to joke about sex abuse. I can't believe I need a chalk board to explain this to adults. What is is a function of expressing offence? You realise that you've hurt someone and you apologise, because you didn't intend to. This is like trying to teach a frog quantum physics. There are rights, yes, but there are also consequences. Sometimes you can joke about something like sex abuse and get laughs. Sometimes, you will get called an asshole. This should also be of no great shock. You can't expect to just seamlessly drift through life, offending no one, just because there's you and your rights. Offence exists in the world alongside you. I think it's sad that damaged ex-Christians here are more concerned with making jokes that have detrimental effects on other ex-Christians and are more concerned with their rights to backfire, rather than work on achieving balance. It's like the board is divided into two groups: ex-Christians who are know they have psychological shit to sort out as a result of the fucked up ways they were treated under Christianity, and navigate this board seeking that help; and then there are ex-Christians who decide that rather than working on their issues, they're just going to bask in the side-effects of the ways it messed them up by testing people's boundaries. Oh.. and of course, the former have an entitlement complex and whatnot, obviously, because the latter group has decided they aren't responsible for anything anymore and now nothing and nobody matters. They have the the right to joke about me being abused (as has happened here), and I likewise have the right to say that that's fucked up, and that they maybe ought to spend more time working on their glaring issues and trying to find a sense of equilibrium in their lives rather than acting like rebellious 12 year olds who have just discovered cussing and daddy isn't looking anymore so it's all okay. No, it's not. Expect resulting consequences. Expect people to think badly of you. Expect backlash. You are inviting it. I think many of the people here who cling to their "dark humour" are actually deeply fucked up people who do enjoy every bit of backlash. I think they get off on causing offence, so that they can enjoy arguing with people.
  10. #Metoo

    Don't they have exactly the same right anyone else here does to decide that? I still think that ex-Christian trauma is something that should be taken seriously here, and morally, should trump someone else's desire to joke about subject that many as ex-Christians not only struggle with, but specifically come here for to try to recover from. Aside from that, if people so badly want this place to be some kind of ex-Christian 4chan hellhole, I think it should at least be made way more obvious via title and sub forum description that this is definitely not the kind of "off topic " board you'd find averagely. Correct descriptions of content in forums matter, especially in this respect, or else it even looks more blatantly like causing needless problems is desired.
  11. I really feel this way too. I have a memory dating back from when I was around 14 at School. I loved nature a lot and was a very outdoorsy child, so in art class I drew a big picture of a meadow, with flowers, and a tree in the shape of a woman. I was so proud of it because I thought it was pretty, showed my skills well, and represented my love of nature. But.. I called the tree "mother nature". Obviously, BIG MISTAKE, even though it wasn't my intention to hurt god, or be a heathen or anything. My School was a private Christian School, and my teacher was NOT impressed with this drawing at all. I was told that my drawing was against Christianity. I felt hurt. It wasn't the worst thing to have happened in relation to Christian School ways by any means of course, but it sure as hell made me feel like shit for something I would likely have been praised for just because it was a cute drawing done well for a kid of my age. I also had this sense as a Christian that just kinda... "Why are you wasting time loving nature when you could be, (and rightfully SHOULD be) loving OUR LAWD GOD, THE CREATOR OF THE NATURE?" Lol, it was like.. if you want to appreciate ANYTHING, appreciate it because god created it, otherwise you are "worshipping false idols" and putting something above god, or something.. Like how dare you spend any time appreciating anything except god. This strand of religion sucked the life, wonder, curiosity and passion out of everything for me.
  12. #Metoo

    Why does it have to be one extreme or the other though? In most forums, people are usually cool with there being rules about what you can and can't talk about with no real issue, especially being as the rules typically consist of general social etiquette you'd expect to practice, and standards you'd naturally be held to in life. It's mostly people who really just want to troll and use their "right" to be obscene or offensive who have issues with it. This seems to be a strongly ex-Christian thing. Just earlier I found a Facebook group for recovering ex-Christians. They had to put up a pinned topic specifically regarding this: "There has been some whining about free speech and how we are infringing on people's rights to say what ever they feel like in this group. I thought I would try to clear that up a little by sharing a link that does a really good job of explaining exactly what speech is protected. So, if you think you can say whatever you want to in this group (or any other group for that matter) because the First Amendment gives you protection to do so, please take out 5 - 10 minutes of your life and read this article. http://www.socialmediaexaminer.com/how-free-speech-and-soc…/ Short story is, you can not say whatever you want to in this group. You must abide by the rules and agreements." I found it pretty interesting that they also have had to deal with this. It seems that the strictness of Christianity in terms of what you can and can't do in case you upset the lawd has made people very strongly want to go in the complete opposite direction after deconverting.
  13. Hi all, Bit apprehensive about this, but eh, I need to start somewhere. I'm in psychotherapy and going though my (attempt at the...) deconversion process. It isn't going well so far, but to be fair I'm only just realizing the sheer extent of how Christianity messed with my development as a child-teen, so I guess it could be worse: I could not be in therapy at all, and I could still be a Christian, but I'm not. Although, I feel as though I've had Christian views and morals barcoded into my psyche, and it's like I can't get them out no matter how much I intellectually know otherwise. These "views" and "morals" have significantly impacted me, my relationships, and my life for the worse. One of the biggest things I remember being taught as a child - "If you even think of something sinful, in god's eyes, that is JUST AS punishable with Hell as if you actually carried that action out in real life". As a result, I near-obsessively repented as a teenager, for experiencing "impure thoughts", and come to the realization that I am bisexual. I experienced maddening shame, fear, humiliation and loss of love from my mother alone because of it. I felt that my own family hated me, and that I couldn't even have love from god because of how sinful I was. I also started to believe that if my boyfriend so much as LOOKED at a woman and found her attractive, not only has he cheated on me just the same as if he had sex with her in real life, (if god himself thinks he has cheated, why should I believe any differently?), but that he displeased god. I'm 30 now, and I STILL experience severe jealousy if I even suspect that my boyfriend finds another woman attractive. Fortunately, I'm completely aware of how messed up this is, and how unrealistic and unhealthy it is, so I've just been fighting this issue for over a decade. For some reason it's taken me so long to even realize that Christianity is not only to blame for this, but for an enormous amount of my psychological issues. If you're taught that you're going to a place called hell for eternity because you looked at someone and thought they were attractive, how is that not going to affect a developing person? I'm uncomfortable with my own sexuality, and I'm uncomfortable with the sexuality of my partner. I don't want to be. I KNOW what's natural and what isn't. I know there's nothing wrong with being bisexual, straight, or whatever, but there's it's like there is just NO shifting this nonsense from my mind.
  14. #Metoo

    Ex-christian.net! ♬ Where threads any other forum would have locked pages ago, are left to evolve into completely unconstructive shit-slinging drama fests because we appreciate the beauty of freedom of speech here! Yay! Or alternatively... Ex-christian.net! ♬ So you thought Hell wasn't real? ...Think again!
  15. #Metoo

    Fuck yes. All of this.