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About Faeryn

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  • Birthday 03/29/1987

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    Rock music, skateboarding, reading, art
  • More About Me
    Recovering from child Christian indoctrination from when I was at a private Christian school. Currently in therapy in part for the psychology issues it caused in me and seeking help!

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?

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  1. Just curious about what the most difficult part of deconversion is for everyone, and what you've been doing to recover from that? The hardest part for me has been trying to erase Christian ideas of shame and guilt - the sense that I'm constantly doing something bad, even though I'm not. Intermingled with this is shame about my sexuality. I'm still new to recovering from my Christian past so I'm trying to work this out in psychotherapy.
  2. I really feel this way too. I have a memory dating back from when I was around 14 at School. I loved nature a lot and was a very outdoorsy child, so in art class I drew a big picture of a meadow, with flowers, and a tree in the shape of a woman. I was so proud of it because I thought it was pretty, showed my skills well, and represented my love of nature. But.. I called the tree "mother nature". Obviously, BIG MISTAKE, even though it wasn't my intention to hurt god, or be a heathen or anything. My School was a private Christian School, and my teacher was NOT impressed with this dra
  3. Hi all, Bit apprehensive about this, but eh, I need to start somewhere. I'm in psychotherapy and going though my (attempt at the...) deconversion process. It isn't going well so far, but to be fair I'm only just realizing the sheer extent of how Christianity messed with my development as a child-teen, so I guess it could be worse: I could not be in therapy at all, and I could still be a Christian, but I'm not. Although, I feel as though I've had Christian views and morals barcoded into my psyche, and it's like I can't get them out no matter how much I inte
  4. Ah! I figured the sexuality part would be the place to do that if the people running the forum want to age-protect the subject. I was advised by my therapist to speak to other ex-Christians to help me recover from that part of my religious trauma issues. It's a huge part of how religious indoctrination has contributed to my mental illness, so it'd be cool if I knew properly where to post for that. Cheers!
  5. I've struggled severely with my mental health since I was a child. I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality Disorder, Avoidant Personality Disorder; I've also struggled with self-harm, paranoia, debilitating jealousy, eating disorders, and suicidal thinking. I have issues with my sexuality, since coming out at 15 (I'm 30 now), my mothers reaction to my sexuality traumatized me, and my School taught me that I would go to hell. I struggle with any situation which exposes me to attractive women with my boyfriend. I feel extreme jealousy because I c
  6. - Not at all. - No physical abuse occurred when I attended, but previously children were caned as punishment. I would make an argument for all religious indoctrination and scare-mongering (telling children they will go to Hell for sinning) as being a form of psychological abuse. - We were not taught the national curriculum, but were not physically punished. We were taught "creationist science".
  7. I really need that forum! My sexuality is a HUGE part of my issues with my religious background. I really wish that part was more open. >.< It's like the main thing I need to talk about.
  8. Thank you all so much for your responses so far! It's helping so much being on this forum. I wish I knew how to "react" to your posts and like them, but I think maybe that feature is not available to me yet, so I want to thank you all here!
  9. I need to clarify that I don't know for certain what "religious ecstasy" really is for everyone, or how much the experience varies from person to person. I need to also note that I never actually experienced religious ecstasy for god - but I did witness a lot of it, and get a clear picture of what other people felt like, and how I felt pressured to experience it too. I have long suspected that I project this feeling onto romantic partners, because I didn't experience it with god, and I was shunned from any kind of loving affection too from my parents. The feeling of l
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