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aila

Authentic Christian Believer
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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Yes, believe in God.

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  1. Hi, my "friend" (or I thought) recently ended our friendship because I no longer go to church. She feels that she can no longer "be herself" with me because she cannot talk about her faith constantly and does not want anyone coming between "her and God (not sure how I was ). I was surprised this happened and tried to explain how she was being judgmental in her decison, but she is literally unable to see how it is a form of discrimination. How come Christians cannot see their own hypocrisy? I did not know my leaving church would cost us our friendship.
  2. @Geezer Hi, any particular book of Dr. Bart Ehrman you recommend to start with? I see he has a lot
  3. THanks for your reply. Yeah, I actually grew up in an agnostic family so I fortunately do not have any pressure from my side of the family. However, I live in a foreign country with my husband and most of my community here is from church so it is hard to think I will have to branch out/start over (again - I have moved so many times in my life so it gets exhausting to start over). I like my friends from church, but I know the relationship will change, especially if they believe in not "yoking with unbelievers" even though I am not technically an unbelievier, just not the same beliefs they hold (you know how it is). My husband's mom is very evangelical so that will be another struggle. I will look up that historian. Thanks.
  4. Very true Thanks for the replies, everyone
  5. That is true (I have moved a LOT in my life).
  6. Of course not. I am in the process though of leaving so I feel guilt. I grew up in a half agnostic, half Catholic family, but my family is primarily athiest and agnostic. You would think it would be easy for me to revert back to my roots, but I live far from my family and where I live, most people I know are from church.
  7. good response I guess my initial response though is because that particular church does expect people to often skip work for their events and even if someone just had a baby, church is always priority over anything else.
  8. How did you all deal with guilt of not returning to church? How did you deal with pressure from former church members about not returning?
  9. Oh @sdelsolray, I also wanted to add that 2 days ago the pastor told me about a "fundamentals of faith" course he is doing (which conflicts with my work schedule and is happening during this time I am possibly stepping away) and he sent me messages about it asking if I am going. I replied saying it conflicts with my schedule but thanks for letting me know. His reply really got under my skin becaue it was "You were the one who convinced me to do this course in the first place...we will miss you.". That irritated me because it came off very "guilt tripping". Yeah over a YEAR ago I had asked about the course and would have gone last year, but even if I wanted to go this year, you don't notify someone 2 days before it starts who has a job. But I guess there is the assumption that my job is not as important as the course...ugg
  10. Hi @sdelsolray Good question, yes the peer pressure is a big factor, especially since my good friends where I live I met here at church. I even saw one yesterday and felt disappointment and sadness coming from her because I have not been going to church. I felt kinda judged even though I know she prob wishes I were there because we are friends and I think she truly is worried about me. Also, people will not mention religion but then every now and then mention how I should go back, or not abandon the church. It does feel like pressure. I know they mean well and I am glad I met them, I just hope they do not base our friendship on whether or not we attend the same church. Back in the US my friends were/are my friends regardless of my personal beliefs and I liked that. My MIL will be the real challenge when we see her soon. She is a very "in your face" evangelical that "I am right you are wrong". I am not sure how that will be. I told her via texting to not send me certain things, but in person will be another story.
  11. Thanks @sdelsolray - I appreciate your response. I agree about being honest. My husband is a dr so he tells me to look at my health issues from a biological perspective, but then because we go (or used to go) to church we also prayed a lot and I just felt worn out and disappointed after so many years.
  12. Hi, I currently am in the midst of a spiritual/religious conflict and need some advice. I grew up with an agnostic dad and a Catholic mom so I was exposed to both sides growing up. Most of my family is agnostic today. I became a christian in college, but then fell back into my more agnostic roots, and then went back to christianity a few years later (I know some would argue that means I was never really christian to begin with). Anyways, I have been attending a christian church the past 1.5 year and most people are pretty nice there, etc. However, I have always been a bit hesitant around fanatical christians or very right wing views since I grew up in a very left-wing, liberal family. Regardless, most of the people are nice people, and it was going well even though I felt deep down some belief differences I ignored it as to just being our essential political differences and nothing more important. To explain the conflict....I have been struggling with infertility for 4 years (please no hurtful comments) and have lived through multiple failed treatments with my husband. It has been awful and while I was able to manage being positive the first 3.75 years of it, these past few months I have literally had a switch go off and I feel like I have changed. I recently decided to take a break from church. I feel like no matter how much I pray, or ask others to pray, nothing happens. Many people at church try to offer "comfort" which I honestly appreciate because I know their intentions are good, but often their words are not the best choice. I feel like I get tired of their generic comments about how to deal with this issue. I even wrote a novel to the pastor about my current spiritual conflict, and he took over a week to respond to my message and his reply was basically, in summary. "I don't know what to say." which just left me feeling disappointed. I guess I expected more support aside from "I am praying for you" from a pastor. I felt like he should have reached out more, or made more of an effort. I am not trying to bad mouth him, he is a decent person, just how it honestly made me feel. I know many christian couples who have gone through infertility and had success, or even adopted said they could not see the light at the end of the tunnel while in 'the storm'. I feel like I do not know where I stand right now. It is easy for me to fall back into being agnostic since my family is, but I also feel like I am being pulled to be christian. I live in a foreign country with my husband and as bad as this sounds, I am afraid I will lose all of my friends if I do not go to church since that is where I met all my friends here. I like them too, but I know it would change the nature of the friendships. I also feel a lot of guilt right now about not attending church and that I might be making a mistake. ALSO, my MIL is an extreme fanatic christian (puts her religion in everyone's face) so I have that to deal with as well. My husband fortunately is on the same page as me and he works in medicine/science. Anyone else been through this back and forth pull? I feel so confused and torn. I never thought I would be writing here and even feel guilty writing this post. [The reason I chose to write here is because pretty much everything I find on google is biased and written by a pastor. I need something more neutral or from people who know what this conflict is like.] Thank you
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