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DestinyTurtle last won the day on August 4 2018

DestinyTurtle had the most liked content!

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About DestinyTurtle

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    Strong Minded

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    Science, Art, and the various manifestations of honest creativity in general...
  • More About Me
    I was raised as a Calvinist. Needless to say I moved past it, now.

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    I am not attached to that word.

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  1. Acceptance is a complex and nuanced thing. It feels good as an X Xian to talk to people with shared perspective in this matter, as it helps to feel less alone in the struggle and it helps to reassert your own sense of reality. I think this website is great in this respect. That being said, people have a variety of beliefs and attitudes. For example, although people usually avoid talking politics here, you might find that a person who deeply shares your perspective on religion will suddenly turn and fiercely disagree with you on a political opinion (or some other matter). That can feel like rejection. Ultimately it is important to learn to accept yourself and feel secure in that, and random ferocity and disagreement, in time, will feel less like personal rejection. It won't matter if you're a good X Xian. It does, however, delight me personally that you escaped toxic Xianity, and this isn't because I care whether you like me ( although it is welcome if you do ). I just personally believe more people should should do the same.
  2. Perhaps there is still some hope for the US!
  3. So glad you're free! Crazy how much people beat themselves up over rules that don't even serve the purpose they were originally intended for (assuming they had a good intended purpose in the first place)!
  4. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this I find in my life that it's pretty much impossible to talk reason into delusional people. It does indeed sound like a cult.
  5. Glad you're here, @Caoin! I'm really sorry to hear what your family is putting you through and I hope you can get back to the treatments that you know work for you! Cudos on the courage it took to stand up to your own truth!
  6. I feel no offense. Thanks for sharing your perspective I can buy that. I guess part of what I was trying to say earlier was that I'm bothered by how transactional the Xian perspective on charity is. Doing a nice thing for someone because the heart is uplifted and that it feels good can be a sincere and good thing. The Xian perspective doesn't say that though and it's more like you're purchasing a product ("eternal life"), or at least that's how it seems to me - there's no joy or sincerity in it, other than perhaps a temporary, manic relief of someone who is desperately seeking a narrative with which to escape their fear of death. In my experience Xianity seems to go back-and-fourth on whether salvation is a free, "gift" thing or it's something that's earned with works. There's a whole "salvation by works vs. salvation by faith" theological dialogue which pretends to put it to rest but rather ends up talking itself in circles - not leading to a definitive conclusion, in my opinion. There are so many contradictory directions as to what you actually need to do to be considered "saved", and the goalposts always move.
  7. I would go one step further and define charity as giving to someone in need without expecting anything else in return. What you describe - what many Xians describe as "charity" - is more of an attempt to bargain or placate an entity for forgiveness or reward, in my opinion. A lot of Xianity just reeks of disingenuousness to me, where everything is framed in terms of how it could materially benefit you, personally (the materiality of the motivation is dressed up as spirituality, however). I remember back in the day preachers trying to proselytize people by suggesting that the reward of eternal life offered by Xianity is supposedly so much better than what is offered by other religions that one should choose Xianity solely based on that "wonderful" promise. Putting aside that that presumption is just factually wrong (there are other religions that promise the offer of eternal life), it is based on the idea that one should base their faith largely on what features it advertises. I mean, seriously, are they selling a car?
  8. Welcome to X-Xian, @Moby! I'm so glad that you feel freer now! Cudos on the courage it took over the years to wake up to the truth
  9. Welcome to X-Xian, @Jagdish! Take it easy on yourself- anyone can easily be brainwashed when they're indoctrinated from a young age. I'm glad you're here and I'm glad you made it out of the programming with your mind intact, in the end.
  10. My advice is that it's not your job to fix your parents or to persuade incorrigible people. You made it out of the brainwashing intact and cudos for that! My other advice is to make sure you give yourself credit for these acts of courage on your part, because other people will not always give it the recognition it deserves.
  11. Oh man, I feel you. I keep getting into unhealthy dynamics with my bosses or other authority figures doubling back trying to please them by meeting even their unspoken expectations. This of course doesn't work because I end up expending too much energy and feeling like I'm falling short anyways. We shouldn't be expected to be perfect or to read people's minds for them. I'm still trying to unlearn that.
  12. Welcome, @dobokdude! Sounds like your life is rife with rejection and alienation. For whatever it's worth I'd like to assure you that there are places that you do belong and that there are people who will accept you. You're making good choices and doing the best you can under the circumstances.
  13. Welcome, @JohnnyWishbone! You're not alone! Hope this website proves helpful and useful to you
  14. Lots of Xians are bonkers for sure! Nice to have this place to have our sense of reality asserted!
  15. Help should be handed out with much discernment for sure!
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