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DestinyTurtle last won the day on August 4

DestinyTurtle had the most liked content!

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About DestinyTurtle

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    Science, Art, and the various manifestations of honest creativity in general...
  • More About Me
    I was raised as a Calvinist. Needless to say I moved past it, now.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    I am not attached to that word.

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  1. DestinyTurtle

    Christians blaming gays

    OMG It is so nice to hear other people openly acknowledge this. So much of Xianity is saturated with this belligerent narcissism, and people don't address it! Needless to say, you are completely right and I appreciate the perspective you shared!
  2. DestinyTurtle

    How Can I Heal From My Christian Upbringing?

    From the sounds of it you are on your way to healing - just give it time. It's been about 10 years for me now and I'm still in the process of healing, although I am much healthier, saner, and happier with myself. One way to look at it is that these emotions are bubbling up because you finally feel safe enough to address them. It's a sign of great progress! It's ok to feel, and it's ok not to be perfect all the time. You are addressing what you're going through and you're reaching out to people in appropriate social contexts (like a psychologist and this website), which I think is exactly the right thing to do. If you want any additional advice from my own chapter I'd say you should try to go outside your comfort zone now and then. Get out of your shell! It may be one of the reasons why my username has to do with turtles...
  3. DestinyTurtle

    Are Christians more materialistic than atheists?

    If you think about Evangelicism... by design the believers necessarily have something they are trying to "sell". In order to make this "product" sellable, they keep sugar coating it with various promises and delights (eternal LIFE, infinite BLISS, forgiveness from SIN - get it now for JUST $19.99), so it is totally sold on the premise of greed and desire. I don't know whether it's the tendency of Xianity in general or whether it's what it has become after an unholy marriage with American Capitalism... but yeah I think in many cases it encourages people to be more worldly. It presents spirituality primarily as an opportunistic exchange. I guess now that I'm Xian I'm less enamored by grandiose promises and dreams... and I can be more down to earth and reflect on what really makes life worth living... like loyal friends, good companionship, and magical memories/experiences. I like to have nice things, too... but I guess I have a slightly less appetite for them when I am reminded of how twisted up people get trying to convince themselves they can hold onto things...
  4. DestinyTurtle

    My second chance at life

    Welcome, @Heimir!! I always love hearing about people who break away from Xianity because of the cruelty of the belief of hell! I identify with that motivation in many ways and I think it's a really compassionate and courageous reason to leave. I hope this website helps in the healing process!
  5. Thank you so much for sharing your story! Yeah, coming out to your parents is a huge decision with a lot of ramifications and it's really hard. I think I came out to my parents of my non-Xianity almost 10 years ago? It definitely created a distance between me and my dad... although to be honest that distance was already developing and there was nothing that could have stopped it. Over the years my mom seemed to oddly warm up to me, though, although her beliefs are still the same. Maybe she realized the importance of our human relationship, at some level. Anyways, it's nice to have her open up to me about little day to day things, while politely avoiding talking about religion. It's a complicated personal decision but I agree with you completely about coming from a place of honesty - otherwise there's no real relationship to begin with!
  6. DestinyTurtle

    Samuel from SoCal

    Welcome, @Samuel! I'm sorry to hear what you've been through. I have struggled with trust issues myself, but over time I think I managed to surround myself with people who are trustworthy... I hope you experience the same, as well!
  7. DestinyTurtle

    Did they just say that?

    Pretty much the same here. For the most part it was assumed all dead infants go to hell. There really isn't room for a middle ground, except for simply copping out of the debate by suggesting that it's not something for mere mortals to contemplate or presume about. I come from a Calvinist household... so it didn't pose a particular contradiction to an idea of God's goodness since it was assumed that most people were created solely for the purpose of burning in hell for eternity for God's glory ( and if that contradicted your idea of goodness you were probably one of the people who exist to burn in hell ). The problem of people not being given a chance to be saved doesn't exist if your theology is based on the idea that no one has ever had a chance to decide one way or another.
  8. DestinyTurtle

    I just said fuck it

    Welcome, @BookOfRuthless! Love your testimony! Glad you trusted your conscience and critical thinking through all of that! You're doing it right!
  9. DestinyTurtle

    Just Forgive!

    That is absolutely awful. I don't pretend to understand the depth and difficulty of your circumstance, but it might help to keep in mind that part of the strategy of abusers is to systematically keep you feeling helpless so that in the end you won't do anything about it. We can't tell you what to do about this very difficult situation you're in, but I hope you will at least think about some of the possibilities people are listing above! In any case, I hope you find some comfort in hearing our validation that you are completely right : it is abuse and they are trying to gaslight you to believe otherwise.
  10. DestinyTurtle

    Religion robbed me of my life

    Welcome to X-Xian @HoneyBib! I'm sorry you have to deal with so much anxiety! Your mind can play all sorts of tricks on you. I hope you know there is so much more life ahead of you and these things can be overcome.
  11. DestinyTurtle

    The weirdest thing is happening to me

    @SerenelyBlue You can believe whatever you like. I'm sorry someone in your life really drilled it into you that you have to prove or argue that you're right (and that we're wrong). I can't help but notice how much time you've been spending on this website, though, and wonder whether you're here (despite everything you say) because you're lonely and the people here are giving you attention? The way you spend your time, and the people you spend it with, really reflects who you are, you know? If Xians are so much better and wiser than us, then why don't you open up to them and spend more time with them? I suspect, though, that you already tried that. Remember, *you* came here, first, in the beginning, asking for our comfort. No one made you come here.
  12. DestinyTurtle

    Dealing with a Narcissist's Love

    Thank you for sharing your story with me, @ag_NO_stic! I suspect we've had very similar experiences. One thing my parents would do would be to punish me out of the blue without explanation or reason, because "I should know better" and "I should think about what I had done" (whatever that was). I realized at an early age I had to constantly make sure they were happy, or they would literally interpret anything as an affront to them. It sure gave me a lot of anxiety problems in the long run! In a lot of ways the bible is a mish-mash of out-of-context musings and stories, with varying degrees of moral interest and relevance. I think people usually project a personality onto it that happens to suit them, for the most part. Narcissists like to believe in a narcissistic God because it presents their own behavior in a light of sanctimoniousness...
  13. DestinyTurtle

    How Do I respond to Christian Friend?

    I feel you. When I came out to my parents I wasn't christian they did the whole "we knew it was never real". On top of that they're Calvinists so basically this translates to "God created you to go to hell, he was always going to send you to hell, and there is nothing you can do to stop him from send you to hell. Halleluyah!" At least it keeps them from attempting to reconvert me... Wish I knew what to say about your friend. It's hard to have a sincere friendship with someone who insists they are better than you... ?
  14. DestinyTurtle

    The circle of error

    Weirdly enough I've thought about this a lot. I tend to be of the opinion (which others in this site might disagree, with varying degrees of good argument -- chill out now, I'm not claiming to be an expert... it's just an opinion :P) that many biblical stories actually have pretty good moral messages (which you don't have to be a Xian to appreciate), which got distorted, probably by some power hungry individual or institution. If I remember correctly the context in which Jesus brings up the idea of blaspheming the holy spirit is when the Pharisees accuse him of healing the sick with the power of the Devil. Now... for the purpose of argument we'll just assume miracles are real (suspension of disbelief). Healing the sick is a pretty nice thing to do, and giving hope and a future to people who otherwise didn't think they could have it is also pretty damn nice... and after ALL THAT, the Pharisees got jealous and accused him of being evil. If I can judge by the rest of the bible Jesus's central message is the exact opposite... which is that everyone can be forgiven by principle because God is love. This obviously raises the question: "Why did he say blasphemy of the holy spirit is unforgivable?" The interpretation of this passage goes all over the place, which is rooted in the fact that the "holy spirit" itself is a vaguely defined and ambiguous thing, much more so what it means to "blaspheme" it. Without going too much into the precise meaning of those words, I think, given the context, it seems to me like he's saying "If you can look at a nice thing like this and still call it evil, then there really is no goodness in anything for you is there? Even forgiveness is something beyond your reach, in reception or in comprehension." or to put it more simply... "You can't have ANYTHING nice." I look around at certain brands of Xianity nowadays and there are seriously a lot of people who distorted morality to the point that they'll even claim things like charity and kindness is evil... because any money should go to your paster or your paster's favorite politician, and anyone who is suffering *obviously* did something wrong in the eyes of the LorDeh. It's kind of like they're throwing mud at the very idea of goodness, and in so much as "holy spirit" is a vague marker for something divinely symbolic of goodness in general, it seems to me a potentially sensible interpretation of "blaspheming the holy spirit" is to make a mockery of the idea of doing anything good for other people, in general. I think in the story Jesus might have been trying to freak them out by suggesting that if they believed so poorly of good acts in general... that even they are separate from receiving anything good in the word, spiritually thinking. Or. I may be waaaay overthinking this. Just sharing! @sunstring - I realize I didn't really help your point. Sorry! I hope you figure out some way to shake those pesky Xians who are trying to make everything about them or their religion!
  15. DestinyTurtle

    slow learner

    Welcome, @Lyetta! I hope you feel a little less lonely here!!