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DestinyTurtle last won the day on August 4 2018

DestinyTurtle had the most liked content!

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About DestinyTurtle

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    Strong Minded

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    Science, Art, and the various manifestations of honest creativity in general...
  • More About Me
    I was raised as a Calvinist. Needless to say I moved past it, now.

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    I am not attached to that word.

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  1. Damn, that's rough. In my experience Evangelicals are similar. I always found it weird how in USA the Christian religion has become a stronghold of extreme views about capitalism and the economy, and it feeds into their cruelty and selfishness. In any case, welcome to X-Xian! I hope you find this place helpful!
  2. I can't tell you how to feel... but if it gives you any perspective many of us have had angry/dark phases of our deconversion, and aren't too proud of the things we said or did during those periods. I mean, think about it... the paradigm shift of realizing everything you've been told is a lie is kind of a lot to process and handle. It's normal to bug out. That being said, glad to hear you feel more internally at peace now! Everything you've said is clear and meaningful and not incoherent at all.
  3. Oh man I can totally relate to this. I have a fundie sister that I try to reach out to (she is a decent person aside from her belief system, and we used to be close as children). I still reach out to her at times but I try to keep things unrelated to religion or our parents. I mean, if you think about it, our whole relationship got twisted and recasted to be about pleasing our parents or validating/disproving/arguing about our beliefs and it's just not fair. Any conversation we try to have at that angle is already pre-scripted by our parents who turned us against each other... and it's better to try to connect us for just being us... I mean I missed the times we used to have long conversations about random fantasy stories, novels, or video games. We had a real connection before religion hijacked our narrative. Just saying.. I empathize.
  4. Welcome to X-Xian! I'm so glad to hear you're free, and I'm sorry to hear what terrible stuff you've been though. You're in control of your life, but they go through great lengths to make sure you don't figure that out.
  5. Fear is an emotion and not necessarily rooted in logic or reasoning. I think it's common for people to have persisting irrational fears after deconversion, especially if they were brainwashed or intimidated as a child by christian parents, or their environment. In a sense the fear can be contextualized as a childhood trauma and fear resurfacing under a false narrative. It took me many years (and self reflection, and therapy) after deconversion to overcome this fear, and a lot of the process involved recognizing and healing from psychological/emotional hurt.
  6. woohoo! I'm not here as much as I would like because busy with work and all, but I still find my time here very encouraging and therapeutic. Glad to see other people feel the same!
  7. It's going to take some time to recalibrate your needs with your values so you should be patient with yourself. It's a real mindf*ck to realize almost everything that you've been taught is false. It's been more than a decade since I've deconverted and it's been quite a roller coaster ride, but I feel like my life is meaningful and I'm sure you can get there too (without religion). Good luck, and cudos to the courage it took for you to get to where you are now
  8. You totally deserve love and you will not go to hell!!!
  9. Hell and Welcome! I'm glad you're thinking for yourself and you're questioning everything! A lot of people have a problem with that - but their insecurity is their problem to reckon with, not yours. Good luck on your journey!
  10. Hello, Mark! I'm glad you're here! I grew up in a Calvinist family and so I empathize with the struggle and fear of breaking free from that particular nightmare. My parents have definitely branded me as 'unelect', but fortunately I have successfully made myself financially and socially independent. Cudos to your courage and your journey!
  11. I think a lot of people just want to be seen and understood, and once they get that assurance from this site they go off to face their life problems. Also life is just super busy. I love this site but I can't be on it as often as I would like, or to post my thoughts with as much thorough discussion as I would like.
  12. @Karen I completely agree - it's home grown evangelical terrorism.
  13. Hello and Welcome! You know I've heard a lot of fundamentalist/former-fundamentalist types that they got lured in to it after they were embroiled in a more lukewarm version of the religion, eventually to find that they still felt a lack of purpose or meaning. I guess it's a temptation to double down and hope that a more intense version of the faith would give rise to that exhilaration again. Anyways, seeking a deeper meaning and purpose, I think, is a good trait, and can help you a lot outside of the context of religion (which ultimately doesn't help with this need anyways). Hope this site helps!
  14. Welcome! Glad this website seems to be helping! My dad's a preacher too so I empathize.
  15. Welcome! I personally mainly think institutionalized religion is bad, since the institution inherently distorts truth and reasoning to maximize its organizational persistence and power.
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