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Everything posted by DestinyTurtle

  1. DestinyTurtle

    My Story

    You're welcome! You know it took me many years even after my deconversion to realize my parents were narcissists? I *knew* something was off about them but I didn't have the vocabulary, or I didn't allow myself to have the vocabulary... to describe them. They really effectively conditioned me to rationalize and defend their behavior, even after I learned to disagree with their beliefs. Anyways, once again, glad you're here
  2. DestinyTurtle

    My Story

    It's a pet peeve of mine the selfishness and hypocrisy of people who raise their kids this way - depriving them of ordinary everyday joys and relief - when they themselves never had to endure that level of asceticism as kids, because they conveniently got to choose the "true" faith as an adult after they "got it out of their system". Thank you for sharing your story, @mrspearl! It really spoke to me. I think you have tremendous courage and strength of character to stand up to that! I'm honored to be part of a community with people like you
  3. DestinyTurtle

    Hatred of Paul

    Really? Wow. I didn't know that. These people really thought that abandonment was a just and holy thing?
  4. DestinyTurtle

    Hatred of Paul

    Also notice that Paul never actually met Jesus... he simply had a vision of him once during a particularly intense nervous breakdown, and yet he has the gall to consider himself equal to the Apostles. This is actually a glaring hole in the bible canon and you might notice a lot of theologians make a special point of insistently calling Paul, "The Apostle Paul" over and over... (whereas sometimes they'll call Peter or John simply by their first names and assume you know they're apostles by context) because they know Paul's apostleship is questionable and they have to push this belief through the brute force of the power of suggestion. On close inspection he appears to be just some guy who claims he met a famous person he never met and hijacked an emergent religious movement with his own personal beliefs, and later organizations found his writings useful for promoting things like authoritarianism and misogyny.
  5. DestinyTurtle

    The death of a salesman

    It's not supposed to make sense, it's supposed to make you teary-eyed because of some kind of "sacrifice" it represented. Seems to me Jesus was just a kind guy who spoke his mind, and people got mad and killed him. Now many people quote him, backed with two thousand years of theologizing to rationalize why it's actually a good thing to punish and kill innocent people who speak their minds.
  6. DestinyTurtle

    Religion, and what it did

    Religion made me believe that living in constant, overwhelming fear was a natural and good way to be.
  7. DestinyTurtle

    Former Christian

    Welcome, @Tripqing! It's rough coming out to your family as X-Xian! Glad you're here!
  8. I remember evangelicals really like to make fun of mormons... even though they're pretty much on the same level of crazy in terms of beliefs. In one of those "revival" meetings I went to as a kid to socialize with evangelicals the speakers frequently mocks mormons as being nutso -- and at the same time speakers (I guess these were Pentecostals) were periodically babbling and having convulsions on the floor. I get that spirituality sometimes takes people to weird places sometimes but if they're going to be so weird can't they at least be more accepting of other religion/people's weirdness, even if they don't agree with them?? It all seemed so hypocritical.
  9. DestinyTurtle

    My Last Beating

    Damn. Thank you for sharing that story with us. It's completely out of line for them to interrogate you like that - church leader or not.
  10. DestinyTurtle

    Hello all, glad to be here.

    Welcome to X-Xian! Seems you're starting to ask yourself a lot of questions about the bible... that's a big no-no for a Xian! :P I hope we can help! I'm glad you're here!
  11. DestinyTurtle

    Why the bible is not welcome in our house

    Nice. It often occurred to me that Xians are either woefully ignorant of the genocide-promoting passages in the bible or they are despondent fundamentalists who would defend anything insane or cruel just for the sake of it. This pamphlet is straight to the point. I like it!
  12. DestinyTurtle

    Recovering Preacher's Kid

    Welcome to X-Xian, @mrspearl! I hope this website helps! Although my circumstances are different than yours I certainly struggled with recovering from abuse from a cultish family. It's super courageous to distance yourself from all the abuse despite the tidal wave of societal judgement!
  13. DestinyTurtle

    How do I shake the feeling that I am courting the devil?

    As I recall from when I was fresh from deconversion I was always constantly plagued by guilt. Actually, the feeling guilt came from before the deconversion, so there was no freedom from it even if I stayed in the confined of the religion. I kept rationalizing why I was feeling guilty and finding reasons for why it's one thing or another thing that I'm doing that's wrong and making me feel guilty. There was no end to it. Eventually I realized it wasn't anything particular that was making me feel guilt ; guilt was a feeling instilled in me deliberately so that an authority figure can use it as leverage whenever he wanted. Once I broke from that authority the guilt persisted because it wasn't attached to anything ; it was an artificially instilled feeling. Like a lot of repressed feelings I found other ways to process and channel it so that I eventually healed over time.
  14. DestinyTurtle

    God doesn’t get credit for morals

    I distinctly remember that back when I was a Christian I sincerely believed that losing my faith would automatically mean I'd lose by bearing on morals completely and that I would do something terrible, like murder or robbery or whatnot. I was told it was 'in my sinful nature' because of original sin, to do the most horrifying things I can imagine, and that faith in Xianity was the only thing keeping me from doing those things. Fortunately, I hung around enough atheists growing up to have time to ponder as to why non-believers seemed to in control of themselves. Sure enough I didn't morally implode when I lost my religion ; I had only been lead to believe that I would. It's kind of the point of a lot of toxic religions to convince you to hate yourself and doubt yourself so much that the idea of trusting yourself to leave the religious authority's grasp of control is too scary to follow through on. It is always all about control.
  15. DestinyTurtle

    2 years later

    Thanks for sharing, @DarkBishop! Remember that character in The Matrix who made a deal to betray everyone in the ship so he can get plugged back in the matrix and live the lie again? Screw that! Once you know the truth you can't very well go back into willful self delusion It wouldn't be the same anyways.
  16. DestinyTurtle

    Goodbyes are different now.

    Thank you so much for sharing this, @Bug! I really appreciated it. Reading it helps put into perspective and help me cope with complex family-related feelings in my own life as well!
  17. DestinyTurtle

    Bad atheists ruining good atheists' lives

    I actually did this. It's rough for millenials because of the 08 crash and other difficulties pertaining to the modern job market - but I actually made it happen despite everything. Financial independence and living in your own apartment far away is golden.
  18. DestinyTurtle

    Preparing for fundy visit

    I'm with @Wertbag above. I would avoid discussion if possible. If they keep bringing up religion in a way that makes you uncomfortable then you can set a firm boundary simply by saying would rather not talk about that, and you should not have to explain yourself.
  19. DestinyTurtle

    Jesus was a Buddhist monk

    Amen! The parallels between some of Jesus's teachings and buddhist teachings is remarkable, but I tend to think this is the side effect of whatever spiritual rebel is showing through all the historical corruptions and deliberate misinterpretations empires and religious institutions imposed on the bible (and its interpretations) to justify cruelty and exploitation. I don't think Jesus was a Xian.
  20. DestinyTurtle

    Finding Hope

    Welcome, @Bug! I feel the same way... The baggage of horror and despair that comes with many forms of "Good News!" Xianity and evangelicalism is just poisonous. Sounds like you're on the right path and I hope those of us here can help Deconversion can be a long and difficult process and it helps to have support from people who understand.
  21. DestinyTurtle

    The power of prayer

    I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather but but seems like a wonderful way to say goodbye! Sometimes it's not worth it to try to explain your own angle, and you have to perform whatever it is in their social language they do to express acceptance and gratitude.
  22. DestinyTurtle

    Christians alarmed at the rise of Sex Robots

    It's weird that they're making an issue about this when evangelicals these days seem to be big proponents of preying on underage children. Maybe they want these robots reserved for politicians and priests?
  23. DestinyTurtle

    Whoever came up with this shit, thanks a lot

    Thank you for sharing this, @Mandy. I feel you. I feel as though a long-dead a**hole theologian robbed me of a father and of a family, and sometimes this fills me with anger. The "I will not love my family more than Jesus" people don't love Jesus ; They love that Jesus is a convenient excuse for not loving the people in their lives they know they are responsible for loving. I no longer identify as Xian but if I did I would say "If Jesus is your excuse perhaps he is not your savior." Selfish, irresponsible people will always find some twisted logic to justify their selfishness in sanctimonious BS, whether it be Xianity or something else.
  24. DestinyTurtle

    Bad atheists ruining good atheists' lives

    I feel you. Man, was it a constant roller-coaster of fear back in the day. a-holes come in all types. If people are looking to reinforce their prejudice, they'll always find a poster child like this example atheist in this case. Still, I see it as a problem with the Xians who are unfairly overgeneralizing rather than a problem with this particular college student who clearly has some issues to work out (and honestly, who aren't going working through some issues in college?) I wouldn't worry about him. I'm not big on proselytizing either. There's a saying in Japan "Like a sutra to horse's ears" referring to wasting time trying to impart wisdom in the wrong places. On the other hand, it does feel nice to occasionally see a vocal atheist openly defend the truth and reasoning behind his/her beliefs. It may not persuade anyone who isn't already otherwise persuaded, but it does help me feel less alone. My feelings are complex.