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Jace

Regular Member
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Jace last won the day on July 9

Jace had the most liked content!

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About Jace

  • Rank
    Questioner

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Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    From the U.S., living overseas
  • Interests
    Fitness, veganism, meditation, astrology, intuitive gifts
  • More About Me
    I was born and raised in a Xian household, became a rising star of sorts in the tradition, and finally allowed myself to visit the nagging doubts about the religion after a series of tragedies and betrayals. About a year ago, I admitted to myself that I no longer believed (and hadn’t for quite a while), and I’m now in a reshaping phase.

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    We’re on equal footing as the rest of the whole

Recent Profile Visitors

213 profile views
  1. @nontheistpilgrim that makes perfect sense. The one thing I do miss about religion is the community aspect.
  2. @nontheistpilgrim do you mind sharing why you go to church?
  3. @TruthSeeker, I’d like to share something with you. A few months bf I told my parents, I had a dream in which my father was in a room dying, and I was in a different room, unfazed. I woke up quite disturbed. I love my dad. So, I looked up what such dreams mean, and found that when you dream of someone dying, it’s usually not representative of their actual death, but of something of importance dying between you. What that told me was that while this foundation of the same spiritual belief was dead, and it would negatively affect my father, I was in the other room unbothered bc his reaction to the “death” was not my responsibility. I hope this helps.
  4. @Dreamer and @Blue, Be glad you have each other. I have a brother on a similar path, which makes things seem more bearable. I hadn’t planned to tell them the day I did, but in a rare moment, the three of us were alone, so I seized the opportunity. I just said, “Since I have you both here, I want to talk to you about where I am spiritually. I don’t believe the same things.” My dad, the minister, preached. My mom cried. However, two weeks later, my dad asked me if we could revisit the conversation bc he wanted to listen to me without judgment. That conversation went much better. My mom, on the other hand, still doesn’t know what to think. During that initial conversation, I decided not to argue or debate. I had to let them react. I was telling them for no reason other than letting them know for my own authenticity. I’d dealt with it for years, but it was new to them and was a hard blow to absorb. When you decide to say anything, I suggest you choose not to argue. Let all your energy go toward 1. Letting the cat out of the bag and 2. Recovering from the conversation.
  5. So it’s been a few days and so far, so good. They haven’t been on me about it; things have pretty much been normal. I know they’ve been talking to my brother trying to get a handle on it, but I don’t know yet what’s been said in those conversations. Hopefully there’s not an intervention on the horizon. @BobCu, you alright bro?
  6. @thetruthsetmefree I'm not sure why I never saw this message, but I saw it today, so I decided to respond. My husband had nothing to do with steering me away. In fact, I don't think anybody did. A situation involving Christians kicked the door open for me to ask questions that I think I always knew would leave me to answers that would then lead me to have to make some decisions, but mostly, the motivation was internal. The factors that led to my deconversion were many, but mostly, I just finally had to admit my truth to myself and follow.
  7. Thanks for replying, guys! Today is much better. I suspect there will be attempts here and there to draw me back, but if so, they're just doing what they feel they've been called to do. Being 36 and having children of my own, I felt it necessary to be this example of living your truth so my kids could see that in action. Also, I've felt kind of foolish for being this age and hesitating to tell my parents about this shift, but shit like this has no appropriate age, I guess. It took years to deprogram and two years to even say it aloud to myself. It's weird. I'm outspoken and headstrong about everything, but this is different, likely because it was my foundation. My brother is about to come behind me and tell them the same thing. I kind of feel bad for my parents, but hey... You can't raise "free thinkers" and expect them to adhere to your worldview. You can't have it both ways. Anyway, I always appreciate the feedback on this website. It means a lot to me.
  8. After six years of deconverting, and working in ministry/being a very outspoken Christian prior to that, I told my parents today that I’m no longer a Christian. It went how I expected. My dad preached, told me what I actually believed, and told me I was going to hell and taking others with me. He also hit me with some “power of Satan” memes later on. My mom cried and blamed herself. I felt quite shitty after, but I’m glad to be finally living my truth around them. I hate this and just needed to reach out. Religion is shitty for many reasons, and this is one.
  9. I just had this very conversation with a dear friend. She asked how I was doing spiritually. I told her I was seeking truth apart from Christianity. She didn’t freak out; she, too, thought it was admirable. She’s praying for me now, but she didn’t freak out.
  10. Thank you, and you too, @DestinyTurtle!
  11. Thanks for sharing this. Family influence/expectations play a big role. I know for me, part of it is my extreme, zealous personality. It’s balanced out over the years, but it didn’t serve me in any way other than athletics, which I see now. I don’t want that for my kids, but I see so much of myself in them. My husband and I are working out how to raise them, now that I’m no longer a believer.
  12. Kool-aid* Man, I had to battle auto correct for that.
  13. The kind who gets that kill-aid served at every meal since birth. I was young like that, too. What’s funny though is I innately believed other things, until I was told they were evil. I’m currently exploring those other thoughts.
  14. Thank you for sharing your story and happiness with us, and congrats to you for getting out!
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