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About Jace

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    Fitness, veganism, meditation, astrology, intuitive gifts
  • More About Me
    I was born and raised in a Xian household, became a rising star of sorts in the tradition, and finally allowed myself to visit the nagging doubts about the religion after a series of tragedies and betrayals. About a year ago, I admitted to myself that I no longer believed (and hadn’t for quite a while), and I’m now in a reshaping phase.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    We’re on equal footing as the rest of the whole

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  1. Jace

    I’m now one of you

    I just had this very conversation with a dear friend. She asked how I was doing spiritually. I told her I was seeking truth apart from Christianity. She didn’t freak out; she, too, thought it was admirable. She’s praying for me now, but she didn’t freak out.
  2. Jace

    I’m now one of you

    Thank you, and you too, @DestinyTurtle!
  3. Thanks for sharing this. Family influence/expectations play a big role. I know for me, part of it is my extreme, zealous personality. It’s balanced out over the years, but it didn’t serve me in any way other than athletics, which I see now. I don’t want that for my kids, but I see so much of myself in them. My husband and I are working out how to raise them, now that I’m no longer a believer.
  4. Kool-aid* Man, I had to battle auto correct for that.
  5. The kind who gets that kill-aid served at every meal since birth. I was young like that, too. What’s funny though is I innately believed other things, until I was told they were evil. I’m currently exploring those other thoughts.
  6. Me too, since I came out the womb.
  7. Jace

    No longer ashamed

    Thank you for sharing your story and happiness with us, and congrats to you for getting out!
  8. Exactly this. I mourn what could have been. I know what I would have done that I didn’t and what I absolutely wouldn’t have done, but did. My best friend actually lives in Oregon, but I live in China, so it would take me a while to get there. 😄 @Burnedout, mind fuck, indeed. @Ellinas, #2 is where I find a great amount of comfort. I like very much who I am, and already I’ve been a source for others who are coming out of the fog. I guess I’ll chalk that up to my purpose and detach from what I should or could have been. Lol @midniterider lol No, it wasn’t all bad. It was actually great, until it wasn’t. @Ann, acceptance. Shouldn’t it be easier than this? Haha
  9. Jace

    Friend dumped me over religion

    Right now I live overseas, so there’s no pressure. I have a big mouth and will probably eventually tell on myself, but I’ve seen how my family has responded to like situations in the past; I know my relationship with my parents from that moment on would only be their pleas to avoid eternal damnation and my pleas for them to cut it out.
  10. Jace

    Friend dumped me over religion

    This is why I won’t tell people. I’m more concerned with losing family than friends, but the fallout would be horrible.
  11. Definitely annoyed, lots of regret and wondering what routes I’d have taken otherwise. Sometimes I wish I’d have had the course to explore those nagging questions instead of relenting and having “faith.” I push the envelope in every single other area of my life, but I didn’t with this.
  12. You guys are right. @Storm, I think I’ve narrowed it down to pure fear. I’m from Mississippi, and since hell is hotter than that, I wanted no parts of it! Also, I’d seen so many answered prayers that, at the time, I couldn’t attribute to anything else. I tell myself that my experience was for the help of someone else; someone will walk away and need somebody to help them out, and I’ll be there. In fact, it’s already happening. But you know how many people I led to Christ and helped mold into godly young women? A bunch. @MOHO not looking back is key. Everyday I’m reminded of ways in which that lifestyle was my default. I’ll bow my head to bless my food or react to pray in a bind, etc. We’re creatures of habit, so I’m working on mindfulness.
  13. Stopped going two months ago (ironically, my Xtian husband is the one who halted it), and found out this weekend that we’re on the prayer list to come back. 😄
  14. I’m struggling with this right now. Today, I was teaching Roman mythology to my students. I teach at a Christian school and will until the summer. We were talking about similarities and differences between mythology and Christianity, when one of my students shouted, “If God is good and kind, and Jesus is alive and can do anything, why is there killing, and pain, and hunger?! I no longer believe!” This led to an awesome conversation, of which I’ll spare the details. But man, that, plus what’s going on in Jerusalem right now, has me feeling like an utter moron. Why did it take so long to come out of Christianity? Deep within, I KNEW better—I knew it didn’t add up! My student wasn’t asking trick questions, and his questions have simple answers! I’m not stupid. I’m very independent and have an impeccable bs meter, but damn, indoctrination is real, and I feel like I missed out on so much because of it. 😖 At the same time, it was over 30 years of my life, and I feel like I’m on the tail end of a breakup. Ugh. Dammit. My mantra, lately, has been, “Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know when you didn’t know it,” and that’s where I’ll sit, until I get past this.