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TruthSeeker0 last won the day on February 12

TruthSeeker0 had the most liked content!

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About TruthSeeker0

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    There are a lot of them. Living in the moment is the main one.
  • More About Me
    I'm an ex-fundie going on two years, navigating this thing called life.
    My Ex-timony:

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?

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  1. TruthSeeker0

    Just toughen up!

    It took me a long time to get to where I am. Plenty of people walking over me and taking advantage of me. Years of frustration and resentment. But then a very good thing happened - I left the god delusion and the church, and grew up finally. So I'm just trying to tell people how it is - leave these kinds of people instead of wasting your time with them.
  2. TruthSeeker0

    Just toughen up!

    Which is exactly why I wouldn't be friends with them to begin with, they're the kind of fair weather 'I'll be your friend as long as I don't hear about your real shit in life' friends, and what does that say about them? Completely non supportive. I'd move on, upwards and onwards and all that, and if they want to know why, tell them it's because they can't deal with the shitty side of life in a realistic manner.
  3. TruthSeeker0

    Just toughen up!

    Personally, I haven't, the types of people who tell me to toughen up with that meaning take the revolving door into my life and the revolving door right out of it as well. I've had enough of their kind and they're no longer welcome. You're a guy though, so I'm guessing you could be dealing with some typical "don't talk about your shit" machismo. Which is never productive in the end anyhow, imo.
  4. TruthSeeker0

    Just toughen up!

    It's better to be left unsaid in that case, and "I don't know what to say, so I won't give advice" is the proper advice. This "toughen up" shit just makes some scenarios ten times worse (by piling guilt on people and making them feel inadequate, when they may have enough to handle as it is).
  5. TruthSeeker0

    Just toughen up!

    More context required. "Potentially harmful", in what way? Why are you afraid, possible physical violence, emotional abuse, another reason? Also if you know another person might do you harm, and are afraid of them, I'd ignore any and all 'toughen up' comments and do what's best for me - avoiding or getting away from the threat altogether. You don't require any kind of validation or advice from another human to do what's best for you (that's how they can control you), just do what's best for you.
  6. TruthSeeker0

    50+ Healing Scriptures For Cancer Patients

    Aw shucks, keep on going, this is entertaining stuff.
  7. TruthSeeker0

    My husband says I am going to hell

    This is not necessarily a bad thing. For example your husband may eventually end up leaving fundamentalism, and joining a more liberal church if his beliefs change. This alone I'm guessing would be of major benefit to you, it's certainly easier to accomodate than very rigid, judgemental black and white thinking. Some people for some reason find letting go of god impossible to do, and compromise is necessary. It is natural that he is coming up with explanations that allow him to ignore contradictions - xtians must do this out of necessity. And he may not be comfortable with facing the really big difficult questions. Facing the possibility that your whole worldview may be a farce, and that your god may not be, is very daunting. If he shows any interest over time in exploring this I would casually mention books or authors that you have read.
  8. TruthSeeker0

    50+ Healing Scriptures For Cancer Patients

    I see we have gained another Christbot.
  9. TruthSeeker0

    My husband says I am going to hell

    If they are strong independent thinkers I wouldn't be very worried about them. They may feel they have no "permission" to explore their beliefs (or let on they are) if their dad is authoritarian about religion, but if they want to do so, they will do so (speaking as someone who did this and dropped a complete bombshell on my parents). They have you as a great example which is really important and from what you've said about your son, you have an important ally. Your husband may feel increasingly on the defensive since the power dimension has changed in the household, so I would just keep open communication and be patient, this is major change for him and probably threatening if he's the 'man of the house' type. A few statements here and there such as the ones you gave him that left him at a loss for words may be all that is required for things to begin to gradually shift in his mind.
  10. TruthSeeker0

    Questions for believers

    So must lost potential here, and so many potential followers to be had
  11. TruthSeeker0


    @Justus What's Phasmalogy TM? And why is a holy ghost your god?
  12. TruthSeeker0

    My husband says I am going to hell

    Something along the lines of "I noticed when I was religious that the polarized us vs them, religious vs non religious view of the world was bothering me (if thats the case), and I began to question why" in that letter might help enlighten him a bit. Anything that might help him relate to how you felt or are feeling. Perhaps it's not so much repression as denying responsibility for creating one's problems and responsibility for solving them, because with xtianity, everything is god-given, solutions included. Personal responsibility is something that is difficult with fundies. I highly recommend reading Marlene Winell's book Leaving the Fold, this is what she has to say about responsibility and avoiding problems: Edit: I denied my own problems when I was fundie, I had a real struggle with how much I absolutely hated and was angry about everything that had been put on my plate because "god is love" and "all things are good with god." You are not supposed to question that. If there are solutions, those as well will be god-given. Thus, people end up sitting there passively, thinking shit like "god will heal me" or "god will heal my marriage." It's crazy.
  13. TruthSeeker0

    My husband says I am going to hell

    It depends what he was yelling about, was he just venting frustration over the issue? Or was he yelling at you that you're going to hell, in a dominating way? I'm curious, because domination is all part of the patriarchy thing, ie "you're my wife, you should be listening to ME, because MY opinion matters." First off the bat, if yelling starts, I would wait until he's finished, calmly tell him you both need a time out and you should return to the discussion when you've both calmed down. But before you do that acknowledge each others frustration etc. Geez I'm starting to sound like a counsellor here etc, I'm just thinking what I'd do in this scenario, because I know yelling is a major trigger for me and I easily yell back and no that doesn't help.
  14. TruthSeeker0

    My husband says I am going to hell

    Good idea. My limit personally would be with someone who isn't willing to consider the impact of their actions on my feelings, and aside from that, my feelings and thoughts in general (men in patriarchal systems are much less able to do this imo, it's almost as if the patriarchy gives them an out because their opinions and decisions have more value). That is where I would start planning the divorce route.
  15. TruthSeeker0

    My husband says I am going to hell

    He likely has a very us vs them approach to religious and non-religious people, ie "this therapist will never be on my side" or even "this therapist is also led by the devil." It's difficult to make progress in that scenario. The key is getting him to see your perspective. Edit: also, religion often goes hand in hand with denying or repressing problems in your life.