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Everything posted by TruthSeeker0

  1. Congratulations on leaving the mindfuck behind! Your story is very similar to mine. There's a high price to pay for leaving. All the consequences, with family and friends, the isolation, lingering fear, anxiety, they take quite awhile to deal with. I left over two years ago and it's a slow road to recovery but it gets better with time. My advice is start building a support network of people that can be there for you, go to therapy/counseling if necessary, and yes hang out here or in the chat room with like minded people. You've probably already read Marlene winell's excellent book, that helped me a lot. Mindfulness and self compassion have helped me when things get really tough. I wish you all the best and welcome!
  2. There are in all likelihood like minded people to be found in Mexico, not only in Canada. Search for secular organizations or clubs you could join. In Canada at least there are several to be found particularly in metropolitan areas.
  3. I understand. One of the hardest things for me was establishing clear boundaries that I knew would hurt people. But I had to do it. Boundary violations in my ex church are sone of the main ways of controlling people and are taught as church teaching ie "if you see your brother erring go rebuke them". As a result those in my family in the church constantly try to violate personal boundaries and wishes because they think it's acceptable.
  4. Why do you need to discuss it? Is it necessary for them to know?
  5. What you're doing here is over idealizing this "girl of your dreams." I don't think I'm the only person that thinks so either. You have what I would call a fixation with her. Due to this, you're ruling out other viable options and other people. I used to be this idealistic when I was younger. But relationships in reality are complex as are people. I'd recommend seeing a secular therapist. There's no shame in doing so.
  6. I just read through this thread. Here's what I have to say. It appears you want to be the Knight in shining armor and save this lady. My take: youre creating more pain for yourself by spending time together in an impossible situation. I speak as a woman who was a fundie deeply infected with the god virus. There is nothing you can do at this point. She is brainwashed and indoctrinated. When they tell her you're Satan, trust me she believes it. Do you think you stand a chance in that kind of scenario? No. The best thing for you would be to walk. There are some people you just can't save unless they are willing to save themselves first. The good news is that whether you want to give it a try or not at this point in time, there are plenty of matches out there that stand a better chance when religion doesn't stand in the way. Don't fall for the "there's only one person for me" romantic fairytale crap, ok? If you find someone with similar values, hobbies and interests and you get along well, in the long run your relationship will survive the initial intoxication, which eventually hits and must square with reality if it's going to survive.
  7. I really agree with this. When I joined I thought @florduh was a little harsh in his approach to dealing with xtians in some ways. But now, no I wouldn't have it any other way.
  8. You are doing the best you can. That is what I tell myself, over and over and over.
  9. @ag_NO_stic Sorry to hear this, love and ((hugs)). It hurts so much to be labeled and misunderstood that way, it's the one thing that keeps getting to me with family. I do not care about their beliefs but I care that they can't even try to see things from a different perspective. I don't expect this to change. Also, I've been thinking I may have similar prospects for myself, dating an atheist whose parents are fundamentalists and may very well put some blame on me for being a bad influence on him (they're not aware of his beliefs). One thing that I have decided is, if the conversation comes up, I'll tell them they will have to decide which is more important, their views on religion or having a healthy relationship with us.
  10. Ok, we might accept that explanation My friends from ex-c I consider closer friends than many I had in the church. It's the fact I can talk honestly with them and they do the same in return.
  11. The Jesus Freak shit reaches a whole new level when combined with mental illness. I see and unfortunately have to live with it every day.
  12. That appears to be too optimistic for me, the undergo an Awakening part. It's a dangerous combination when you put authority and patriarchy together and they are inevitably intertwined. Which is why some husbands go batshit crazy when their wives or children leave fundamentalist xtianity. It undermines the authority they rely on. For a lot, it threatens their very masculinity because their masculine ideals are closely tied to these. Witness the rage and violence that can result as a consequence. It's better to be prepared for the worst rather than to hope for awakenings and understanding for the other side.
  13. Now that I've left I can appreciate how difficult it is, at least for the fundamentalists. You basically have to be willing to live with isolation from everyone you've known and start again. It's much easier for those of a more liberal strain of xtianity.
  14. Interesting perspective, that all progressives are out to "score points" instead of educate themselves in historical realities which continue to have an impact today.
  15. I suspect there's a lot of people like that hiding in their churches, it's only that the difference between them and us is that we had the force of will to be more honest with ourselves and others and refused to people please that way.
  16. You did the right thing in leaving. Stay strong. And get the authorities involved if necessary. Mental health issues in particular can make people do utterly crazy things.
  17. ^^because ya know armchair critics always have the best solutions in particular about crisis scenarios. And who cares that it's a fucking violent video of people losing their lives and probably pretty traumatizing to any people who lost family, it's more important it be posted so these critics can critique it
  18. ^^This. However, I just don't care, most of the time. I know who's being foolish and it sure isn't me.
  19. All of my friendships besides one, and they don't even know I'm an atheist, because I don't need to become the focus of the church gossip circles. We just have nothing in common anymore, and I don't need interventions or to be told that I've gone over to the devil. Some family relationships are strained. Other more distant family relationships I've broken off because they were toxic to begin with. It requires building a whole new support network.
  20. The blame game is never any good. I'd drop him and run. You deserve so much better.
  21. Red flags. This is controlling behavior. In any healthy relationship you are allowed to say I and me when discussing how you feel etc. Why the fuck is this dude telling you you have false leaders and don't know your savior? Religion and brainwashing. My only advice is run, and run fast. There will be better things and someone that values you for who you are, trust me. I'm sorry to tell you this but people who are involved in xtianity are children in many senses of the word and haven't grown up - how can they be when god and Jesus are leading them and they're told they're not allowed to trust themselves and practice self responsibility? I would highly recommend reading Marlene Winell's Leaving the Fold so you understand what exactly is going on here.
  22. Reason number 1 I will never date anyone of any religious persuasion: all of them can turn into monsters overnight if they fail to use logic and reason. Yes, even the most kind and loving of them can do awful, horrific things if they lack those faculties or don't know how to use them.
  23. Girl, count yourself lucky. You do not need that patriarchal crap and yes, that's what you would be getting, even with the most loving of men, if they are religious. In other words, you would be beneath him in every way that matters because his christ is above him and he's above you. You don't want that. You need an equal. Let him go and go after better things.
  24. If you're referring to me, I'm not "looking for offense" - I'm saying don't associate qualities or emotions with beliefs.
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