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TruthSeeker0

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Everything posted by TruthSeeker0

  1. This site hasn't given me much for a long time. I've hung around to help the newcomers but frankly I'm tired of the lack of decency in this section of the site in particular. It's time for me to move on and find what other people would refer to as an echo chamber, but one that's more aligned with my values. I agree that discussion and disagreement should take place, but in these forums it's too often been with people who just need to prove they're correct and have the last word. Those who are concerned with social justice, are feminists or who hold progressive values get short shrift here as it's too "liberal" of a pill for most to swallow. Eventually they get tired, like I am, and they leave. Y'all take care.
  2. Yeah, thinking of oneself as being a special chosen "called" person is an addiction. That's where the exciting part comes in. It's a natural fit for arrogant people. You'll have to excuse me for laughing at the irony of this one.
  3. ^^ just get lost. Your arrogance is unbelievable. No you don't want to help. You want to prove people wrong. If you wanted to help us you'd take your arrogant little self out of here.
  4. @SilentVoice You're only laughing at evolution because you were likely brought up Bible believing, that there exists a god who made a woman out of a man's rib and all the rest of it. Either that or you bought into being saved and the idea that you'll live forever is intoxicating. Had you been brought up to think purple sea monsters created humans you'd be believing that just as well. In any case you've made your arrogance and lack of critical thinking ability abundantly clear in this thread. What you think is maybe coming off as intelligence to a casual reader is close-mindedness and black and white thinking.
  5. Why commit crimes then? As if that's the root problem, blacks committing more crime. Are you aware that black people are targeted for the most minor offences by police, charged, and end up in jail or killed at a disproportionate rate in comparison to whites? Do you really think race didn't play a part in a black man being killed over suspicions of a counterfeit bill? Are you aware that white people get away with a lot of shit in terms of criminality simply because there's racial bias in policing? You keep speaking as if the problem is all with black crime. People go and educate yourselves on how the US justice system, after slavery was abolished, legalized the slave labour of black inmates for a long time. Go and research the *incentive* to keep these prisons operating in the current day context, and exactly who benefits from this. It's as if you want to argue that people who were oppressed and enslaved and dehumanized for hundreds of years, and who continue to be oppressed and dehumanized systematically through racial profiling, somehow have an equal chance out of the gates and the onus is all on them. By "you" I refer to the people in this thread who want to cherry pick their evidence - as if a couple well off black folks are representative of all blacks. The issue by and large is that Americans are not educated about their own history, and they have not come to terms and reconciled with the legacy of slavery and the current day ramifications. I say this as someone who went through the Canadian education system and can say the same thing for my country - we learned that rich white men came up with all the inventions, "founded" and "discovered" this country, were to be applauded for what we have today. That's such a half assed approach to history. I didn't learn much of anything until I started studying university level history. When you continue to deny the pain of racialized communities, you'll get nowhere. I'm done here. Have a good day folks.
  6. I didn't read your post besides bits and peices - I've read enough to know we disagree on racial issues. Don't refer to people who disagree with you as dishonest - it adds nothing productive to the discussion.
  7. No, I'm pretty sure we would disagree on whether oppression of minorities exists today - you make it plain as day you think the issue is a handful of bad cops. You don't agree that systemic racism exists. I'm not getting involved in that debate. Maybe go watch 13th on Netflix. I stand by my position that white people do not have the right to claim that they know what the minority experience is or isn't. Just like men do not have the right to claim that they know what it is a woman does or does not experience.
  8. "System" was the word used in the last sentence - your choice of wording is confusing.
  9. You can have your opinions and I'll have mine, we can agree to disagree.
  10. This betrays an ignorance of policing culture and police training. Which is the ROOT of this problem - that combined with racial bias. And I don't think you understand fully the definition of systemic - which is structure that results in issues due to the way it's structured, not a structure that accepts or doesn't accept violations after they've occurred. To act as if none of us have racial bias, as if racism is only hate, that it can't be unconscious, is ignorant. I'm a white daughter of parents who instilled in me a fear of black men. It's conditioning. You don't get rid of racial bias just like that, not when you're socially programmed into it. To walk around and claim that human beings don't identify with in their group and that they easily vilify out groups, and that race doesn't play a part in that, in everyday actions, is just stupid. Personally I do not understand people's claims that they're not racist. It betrays a misunderstanding of the human condition - that we are group oriented, prefer our in group, and easily dehumanize out groups, and unless we make a calculated conscious decision to engage and get to know out groups, we will fear them. Unfortunately that fear can be deadly when you have a firearm in your hands. And as you pointed out, sometimes it's dominance and malice and outright murder instead of fear. The in group identification and out group vilification is something that Trump is using, encouraging, and capitalizing on. If there's someone who deserves to lose their current position due to the way they've pitted Americans of one political party, race, creed or non creed against each other, it's DJ Trump.
  11. Hello! I'm looking forward to hearing more about your story if you want to share.
  12. https://medium.com/@OfcrACab/confessions-of-a-former-bastard-cop-bb14d17bc759
  13. Re family and friends that are black or coloured, I was asking about present day as it's relevant. How many people have discussed racial issues with current colored or black friends and family and how have the discussions gone? My two good friends are married to men from Togo and between them they have biracial kids. They've lived in Europe and Canada, and there's been good and bad experiences in both places. I'm only close with one of them now but I hear her heartache. Her worry for her kids. Her long road to understanding why the childhood her kids are having is in some ways different from the one she had. Her determination to prepare her kids in some ways for what to her and her husband feels inevitable. Open your ears. Listen to your neighbors, your coworkers, everyone. Dear readers who have read this far, ask yourselves, which is more important to you: to be right about your claims, or to listen with the goal of improving this place for us all?
  14. This is an important point I hadn't thought of. My godmother is like this - getting weepy and then preachy by turns. Now I definitely feel less guilt for putting a lot of distance between us.
  15. Also, look for an excellent secular therapist that can help you navigate what's ahead with your family. Marlene is excellent but you can also find one through The secular therapy project and peer support with recovering from religion https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/#rfr-welcome https://www.seculartherapy.org/
  16. No it's not your fault. It's not your fault if your mom goes into a depression. I have several family members in the church that suffer from depression and it's my opinion that their strict religious beliefs are exactly what keep them there. I myself suffer from depression periodically but guess what, it improved radically after I left religion. It spirals downwards when I get too involved with my religious family. I do not need their approval. Their approval isn't a reflection of my value. These resources helped me regain my confidence, self worth, and self compassion as well as to trust myself.
  17. Asking out of curiosity: how many of the posters here have black or coloured people among their close circle of friends? (Not coworkers etc- people that you would disclose personal issues/problems with) How many of you that do have friends, have had discussions about race or racism? What kind of discussions were they?
  18. Why should they continue to look at you the same? That's kind of messed up... You're an adult with your own thoughts and beliefs. You aren't responsible for their emotions. Read that again: you aren't responsible for how other people respond to you. Unless you are being deliberately hurtful and hateful to people. Being honest isn't that. Christianity feeds unhealthy relationships and improper boundaries in some ways in particular between parent and child. These two books helped me immensely in recovery. https://www.amazon.ca/Leaving-Fold-Former-Fundamentalists-Religion/dp/1933993235 Marlene has a website and support groups https://journeyfree.org/ Also this book https://www.amazon.ca/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1626251703 Here's how I came out to my parents. A letter was much less difficult than face to face
  19. You're playing it safe imo - its smart to have an escape route planned out, because family reactions can be very difficult. Not relying on them in any way makes it so much easier. Welcome to exc!
  20. Some might find this interesting reading in terms of societal comparisons https://books.google.ca/books/about/Fairness_and_Freedom.html?id=So1sy5_lBssC&printsec=frontcover&source=kp_read_button&redir_esc=y
  21. This is an interesting conversation thread, in which some people have indicated willingness to listen to the racialized experience of people and learn from them about what they can do on an individual level. Whereas others are more interested in actually claiming truth and knowledge about how whole systems work, and therefore, how minorities and even women are treated in those systems. Which kind of goes back to my point: white people do not hold the personal experience of black people. They cannot claim to know what black people experience, individually, or in systems. They can extrapolate all they want and try to present themselves as the experts but in the end, they aren't black people. When you make claims that systemic issues do not exist in society you essentially make the claim that humans aren't tribal. Which is a laugh, if you consider human evolution. Our tribal tendencies haven't gone anywhere and they affect our behavior. That's my observation on reading this thread. I'm not going to engage further as a respectfully disagree with the positions some are taking and am not interested in further debate. I'm posting so that readers can see a variety of perspective, not only the positions that have been presented.
  22. So you're saying that those people who claim systemic racism exists, are bandwagoning, using a subjective, overly emotional approach?
  23. The sarcasm is hard to read for me, I tend to take written words literally and when I use it myself, sign off with /end sarcasm. Just saying. My point was not to say white people are clueless - it was that we honestly cannot speak to personal experience for black people. I think we need to listen to where they are coming from and assist as advocates against racism.
  24. As RNP stated, people can have degrees of empathy. Some more, some less. Some may have suffered discrimination of another sort and empathizing is a little easier. The only way we can move forward is by involving and educating white people - specifically those who are racist. White allies are important, so I'm not suggesting any such thing, but in the end it's the racists who must educate themselves and change their behavior.
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