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Everything posted by TruthSeeker0

  1. My sympathies. Anger at this point in time is very natural. I haven't read your extimony - do you have one on here? I was angry for a good long while after I left my cult. That anger is mostly pity now for those still in it. You need to process those emotions - you are allowed to do so. Yes good points have been made here about not letting anger rule your life, but in the deconversion process (and in dealing with and coming to terms with narcissists) it's a natural part of it. I recommend reading Marlene Winell's work (Leaving the Fold) while going through this process - it sheds a lot of light on the psychological process, and understanding and healing yourself. It was very helpful for me.
  2. How did it go? How are you doing? Going through all that can be tough. But this group is here for you.
  3. Yup I know people exactly like this.
  4. There's every reason to take it seriously. Yes it might be mild but if it spreads exponentially ( and it likely will - there's a false sense of security about it) the hospitals will be completely overwhelmed and will not be able to take care of those needing intensive care. That's the situation in Italy on the ground where drastic measures were not taken fast enough to limit contagion. Also we live in a culture where people go to work while sick as they cannot afford not to - that guarantees spread. Imo we are about to find out how inadequately we are prepared for this kind of thing throughout North America.
  5. What I'm wondering is, why not seek secular humanist non believers as friends? Even in the Bible belt there's some. I let go of all my xtian friends - I recognized that I'm just giving them power to potentially hurt me by attempting to stay friends, and wasn't willing to risk that further down the road.
  6. Agreed. If it were me I'd expect "Satan has your heart" and they'd drop me immediately. Speaking as an ex xtian who also dropped my friend when she came out gay, (I was still xtian then) I can say it forced me to examine my beliefs, that was too difficult for me, and so I dropped her. Not everyone will do that but from where I come from they are very few and far between.
  7. Yup. I dont see how a person could get through reading the Bible and even have to question if Christianity is patriarchal. I read as far as Lot's "lying with his daughters" (isn't it so convenient that the daughters are made out to somehow connive to sleep with their father - what a laugh!). That's as far as I got with my Bible reading before I concluded the garbage wasn't for me (I did read a summary of the old testament though, which was hard enough in itself). At least some of the fundamentalists beliefs are true to what their holy book states. Liberal xtianity wants to have it both ways with it's cherry picked version.
  8. Well then I hope you’re OK with pretending that you’re somebody that you’re not.
  9. The friends that would drop you because you’re an ex-Christian aren’t actually your friends. That’s what I would call a fake relationship if you have to pretend you’re something that you’re not for acceptance. Christianity is patriarchal. I don’t believe Christians who do good works and who are motivated to do them because it will give them brownie points to get to heaven, are actually doing it just because they *want* to do it out of the goodness of their own hearts. The fact that people are motivated to do good works for brownie points as part of their religion does not automatically make that religion, or them, “good.”
  10. Maybe people become whatever they want to become or practice whatever they want to practice and then others stick a label to it?
  11. I thought this was already established - that one can be agnostic and athiest at the same time. I consider myself both. I don't see at all why it should be one or the other.
  12. No you don't. That's what deeply engrained conditioning does - causes irrationality, particularly when threats to safety are involved. Feelings can be irrational. Beliefs can be based on rational thoughts. The two are not mutually exclusive. Which is essentially what you are saying.
  13. Your therapist is correct, it's a shitty thing to say even if she wasn't serious. And it reveals a great deal about her if she was serious: that supporting her son, unconditionally, and accepting who you are and where you're at in life now, comes second to what people think of her as a mother, because in this case she may be motivated by a potential sense of shame ("my son isn't normal, not what he's supposed to be"). I've witnessed this in person with an autistic person - how their family treated them because they were ashamed of them, and it was terribly sad. Here's the good news: you don't exist to fulfill your parents wishes or desires or to follow some prescribed path so that they feel comfortable. You're your own self and will forge your own path and you don't need to worry at any point about what others think of that. There's no "normal" - that's only social pressure to conform to other people's expectations.
  14. Welcome! It takes time, lots of time, and it's an emotional roller coaster when you leave. It gets better though and there are resources that can help, so just ask if you need to be pointed somewhere etc or need advice.
  15. Well if we're talking about the Lord he sure told Abraham what to do with Isaac and I believe there's a few other scenarios where the Lord appeared but yeah my head has done too good of a job with forgetting (I never listened well in Sunday school anyway)
  16. We aren't going to find anything observable and tangible etc but what helped me most in losing fear of hell and any belief in it was reading a lot of historical criticism of the Bible, Bart Ehrmans work in particular. I plan to read this https://www.amazon.com/Heaven-Hell-Afterlife-Bart-Ehrman/dp/1501136739 Also this for anyone interested https://ehrmanblog.org/heaven-and-hell-part-one/
  17. Can you point us to the evidence that god and hell both exist?
  18. Really? Jesus said you must desert your own family and follow him. Jesus did petty ridiculous things in the Bible. At best, it's debatable if Jesus even existed or if he was an invention made by men in the Church who were seeking more followers. The "first person" accounts of what he did or said are anything but. As to you being worthless, yes indeed that's the central tenet of xtianity. You see, there exists a being so petty and ridiculous that he "creates" people, then decides that because these people ate an apple (how would they understand the concept of sin as it hadn't existed?) all of the rest of people for eternity are damned but he can reincarnate himself in human flesh, to save them (because he can't practice straightforward forgiveness - it needs to be convoluted and complicated). That's what you worship when you worship such a being - something that doesn't even practice forgiveness to the extent that us humans do. If that isn't petty, ridiculous and evil, I don't know what is. This is one of the most successful cases of brainwashing on a mass scale ever, that this "god is love."
  19. No I have not done a thorough study - I have started reading Elaine Pagels on the gnostics, but it's gotten left on the back burner as I reached a certain point where I realized I had wasted enough time with xtianity, and now I'm not particularly interested in spending time reading about how it came about - I know the gist, am not susceptible to the arguments made by xtians, so I want to spend my time on other things. I wanted a more over arching perspective on misogyny that didn't only involve xtianity, hence this book. Holland discusses the involvement of women in early xtianity as deaconesses etc. However I agree with him that it's very ironic that women, who helped spread the new religion, would become so stiffled and controlled within it. Yes you are likely correct that that had a lot to do with Catholicism and the men deciding how things would be. However, the point still stands the thousands of years later, here we are with a system that in the fundamentalist cases, controls women's bodies, their reproductive rights, and puts large amounts of pressure on them in regards to those things they do have some control over, such as marrying or remaining single. The body shunning and shaming that xtianity practices is disgusting. Natural things such as menses are made out to be disgusting and degrading. Regardless of what happened in early xtianity, the women right here in these forums haves personal experience with the very negative consequences of the belief system.
  20. I'm finding it utterly hilarious now that I grew up in a Protestant cult which of course denied that it's tradition or beliefs had inherited anything from Catholicism. On a graver note, how sad that Protestants and Catholics have basically been at war and killing each other, literally, in more than a few places. So much hate and for such ridiculous reasons. The more I read the more I wonder, why are so many people like sheep? What will it take to wake people up?
  21. Agree 100%. Today have been reading a book called Misogyny: the world's oldest prejudice by J Holland, which discusses early xtianity, what it gave women and what it took away from them. How ironic that early xtianity owes a lot to women in it's spread, when it has done so much harm as a whole with the whole "fall of man" and original sin being blamed on women. St Augustus in particular was really disgusting. The more I read the angrier I get. It's so damn obvious when you read the history of the early church and early Catholic Church, what a crock the whole thing was and how politics was entangled in it. For the women out there who are still entangled in it: educate yourselves, read, read some more. Open your eyes to the patriarchal system in which you live, which xtianity is necessarily built on, because the Bible is anything but kind to women (yes the new testament is better but are you actually going to ignore the horrific shit in the old one?)
  22. Yes, you are worthy. That's the first and largest untruth, that does the most harm, that xtianity will brainwash you with - that you were born with original sin and that you're trash. It's not that way at all. You're the product of a spectacular chain of events and you're made of stardust. Forget what some ancient tribal men wanted to tell you you're worth is - they're the ones who wrote the "holy book" that keeps people and women in particular in chains today. That's what the old testament will tell you. It's the xtians who invented hell with their new testament.
  23. Good idea. There's a ton of free courses and books online if you just get access to them through the right channels - my library has an endless amount of ebooks and access to Kanopy, with unlimited access to things like The Great Courses.
  24. Welcome! Looking forward to hearing your story.
  25. Suggest? You're treading on dangerous ground here. Who you hate is your own choice but yeah you've definitely gone a big step past that with this post. Mods, do we tolerate this kind of thing here?
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