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Everything posted by TruthSeeker0

  1. Can I make the argument that Christians do not hold to beliefs per se, they actually hold to emotional wants and desires, which then motivate them to "have faith" or belief in the tenets of Christianity. Their faith or truths are something which they feel are true. Thus when you try to get them to talk about specifics, the answer always comes down to "I have faith" because the primary motivator is emotional. Something always motivates them emotionally- fear of death, fear of hell, influencing or having power over others, community or fear of losing that, hope of eternal life - they are emotionally invested in these. Their primary motivator is not logic or rational thought, and in fact in a good many cases in fundamentalist Christianity, logic and reason are looked at as dangerous areas that can lead down the path to non belief. I think one can only reason successfully with the Christian who is a fence sitter but perhaps doesn't know it yet. In other words those who are willing to look past their emotional investment in it.
  2. I hope you're able to get some professional help. The experience isn't unlike being diagnosed with something absolutely life altering, and in that way it can have a serious impact on a relationship, as the other partner struggles to understand your new focus or concerns. He sounds wonderful but if he's struggling you may both need some help.
  3. Anyone ever played the telephone game? Now imagine the telephone game as some story about a dude named Jesus, and the stories weren't actually ever written down until long after this person died. Sounds surprising that there's four different versions in the gospels? That presupposes that Jesus actually lived and isnt a fictional character. Hey, plenty of people have invented religions with fabricated stories. The fact that millions believe this one doesn't make it true.
  4. @Kdeaustin I'll attach some pages from Leaving the Fold here, written by Marlene Winell. If anything sounds familiar to you I highly recommend getting this book as it's very helpful. Btw Marlene does one on one and group therapy online.
  5. You're going through a very rough time, with a lot of anxiety. At this point in time I would recommend a mental health professional that you can talk to. Preferably a secular one who will let YOU come to decisions regarding your beliefs instead of unduly influencing you based on their own. As for the conflicting feelings and not knowing what you think, my advice there is do a lot of reading, (and I don't mean Christian apologetics) it will eventually lead to more clarity but this is a long process. It's a process that can include grieving, a lot of denial, and a lot of temporary changes in opinion due to that. There's also other important factors in your life that could be making this very difficult for you. One is the fact that your spouse is a Christian and you possibly eventually holding other beliefs may put your marriage under a lot of stress. The other is all the Christian believers that surround you who will do their best to tell you that Satan is tempting you, god is testing you, or some other such explanations. At the end of the day your convictions and beliefs or non beliefs also have to be strong enough to withstand the many forms of abuse from such people that can occur with the loss of belief. It's a difficult time which is why I think you need professional help.
  6. Full disclosure, I haven’t read any of the articles. I tend to think that the concept of “the soul” is just wishful thinking, our desire that our own consciousness not come to an end with death.
  7. Honestly that's a conversation you should've had with him before moving in. If you're a grown adult your dad can't influence what you do. The boundary lines with inappropriate behavior such as telling your adult children what to do, should've been established.
  8. Unfortunately there's a thing called human bias or outright favoritism. Like old boys clubs and all that. Seems we are wired for group think.
  9. Oh but now now haven't you read the first book of Genesis it lays out exactly what us women are like and who is to blame. Talking snakes and all that.
  10. Agree with all of this. Life is easy when you have choices you can make and aren't limited. The world is yours then in many ways and even disadvantages can be overcome somewhat. But add factors like disability and illness in spite of "free" health Care, the ridiculous cost of living, the fact many are in debt, the fact minimum wage isn't anywhere near supporting the cost of living, the list goes on... Once they're elected, they're in it for themselves no matter what ideals they had entering it. I look at JT and understand why people get disillusioned with him, son of a rich wealthy prominent family, how can he relate to an ordinary Canadian who faces struggles he has never seen? When "democracy" favors the rich and wealthy you never end up with politicians who have any real measure of depth or substance to them. People gain character and experience through real challenge.
  11. Yup, the point I was going to make. Is it a democracy when only the wealthy stand a chance of gaining power?
  12. Every degree you earn should grant you a greater say? This is only fair in a society where education is free of cost. Determining whose voice carries more weight by education level makes no sense when you apply it to a system in which there are structural disadvantages. If you want an educated population your best bet is to provide them with the opportunity to be educated free of cost. Not everyone wants to spend the greater part of their life paying off ridiculous amounts of student loan. But that's what happens when educational systems operate in a for profit capitalist system.
  13. Welcome! I relate to so much of your story. In particular, all the anger with god. I hope it helps you to know that many others have been where you are before. You asked for advice and resources so I will tell you what helped me. One of the best resources you will find is Marlene Winell's book called Leaving the Fold, which is written as a resource for those leaaving fundamentalism and belief. It helped me immensely in understanding the extent of my own brainwashing and thought control and the dysfunction and manipulation of the community I grew up in. Marleen is a therapist who assists those suffering from Religious Teauma Syndrome, and she offers individual and group therapy. You can find more information and resources at https://journeyfree.org/rts/ It also helped me a lot to read about the experiences of others. There are a lot of extimonies on this site that are helpful that way. Another book that was beneficial to me was that written by ex pastor Dan Barker. And I read a lot of work by Bart Ehrman as you are doing as well as that of Elaine Pagels. Another important thing is to research the idea of hell and how it came to be. The fear of hell disappears when you realize it's just an invention invented by the church to control people's minds and gain money and power for the early church. The concept of hell isn't even included in the old testament. I know there are others on this site that are aware of specific resources in that area. I would like to invite you to join our chat room on discord if you are ready. Most importantly, I would recommend a secular therapist that you can work with in dealing with the trauma. It takes time, it's a long process, one with a lot of grief and anger as relationships with close ones change or even come to an end for some of us. The important thing is that you are able to live your recovery in a space where you can set boundaries from emotional abuse and manipulation (it sounds like you are getting that from your family, gaslighting etc). I wish you all the best in your recovery and welcome to Ex-c
  14. The thing that continues to astound me is that there are ex Christians who are extremely partisan in their politics, and if they belong to the conservative side of the spectrum they may stubbornly refuse to see how the current administration panders to that element. Shooting themselves in the foot so to speak, that's what it looks like to me.
  15. Because she wants to dish it out but not take it, I'd really recommend being completely independent of any assistance if you want to retain some relationship. It easily gets nasty when Christians want to preach and can't respect people's non belief by keeping quiet.
  16. I take the bus. The family member that I car shared with got extremely suspicious when I'd borrow it for a whole day, because you know I have a thing called a social life. After I started taking the bus and spending nights away from the house we both live in she called me a whore, prostitute and a whole bunch of stuff. It's amazing what religion mixed with dementia and paranoia results in.
  17. Well I'm scratching my head wondering why you would have expected better from a Christian particularly a member of the clergy.
  18. Welcome Danny, I'm sorry for your loss. It illustrates well why I think religion is poison. It's poison because it separates and alienates us from each other, even results in hatred, war and genocide. I know this is probably hard to hear but you're one of the lucky ones. You weren't 10 years or more into a marriage after which one partner "wakes up" and disaster ensues. For you though, I think it's made harder by the fact you were in the passionately in love phase. Yeah, it's a phase, even that cools off after a couple years and we start seeing our partners in a more realistic light. You can go forward now wiser and stronger knowing that one of the most important questions if you date is, do you share a similar worldview and values. For a lot of us, that's a basic necessity to avoid precisely these types of problems.
  19. I agree. There's a passion here that is much like falling in love, fully engrossed in it to the extent that the bias/favor is invisible to the participant. We do not see clearly as humans in such a state. There's also a marked desire to identify as the persecuted one in a majority culture that believes otherwise. The persecuted and the special or chosen complexes are closer than one might think. I don't mean any offence, I'm simply stating how the case appears to those of us who have once been there.
  20. Now now, we can't have that or the whole system falls apart. Hence the definition of faith as I was taught it: "faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen." How ironic is that, memorizing that through Sunday school all those years and not once actually considering what qualifies as evidence. But that's what indoctrination, instilling the fear of hell and wrath of god in children from a young age, and isolating them from anyone who says or thinks differently, will do.
  21. So you had a supernatural experience. You want to believe. It feels natural to you. Etc. None of those are clearly logically thought out reasons for the existence of the Christian god. We should believe in him/her/whatever because you had a dream? Personal experience is not evidence.
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