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Samuel last won the day on June 5

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About Samuel

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  • Gender
  • Location
    So Cal
  • Interests
    Adjusting to life outside of religion
  • More About Me
    I like getting outside and enjoying life, and beer.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?

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  1. I looked at the assertive bill of rights, that’s going to help me too I think. We live in a society that seems to demand so much attention, I struggle to find my own space and my parents did just about everything to destroy my boundaries.
  2. I’ll have to check out the biofeedback session. That’s fascinating.
  3. Gosh I hate that space in the deconversion process. It was a long long long space for me. I remember through out my youth being taught to ask forgiveness for things all day long through out the day as soon as you perceived that you had done something wrong. We believed that asking Jesus for his “precious blood” for... not just things we thought or did that might be “bad”, but also just things that weren’t according to “god’s” will. So maybe you bought the wrong groceries and that wasn’t according to God’s will... which you determined cause you had a stomach ache or maybe you just had depression in the evening or any number of the virtually infinite things that could make you believe you were not following Gods will... well then you’d say Jesus forgive me for x,y, and z and not following your will and demanding that Jesus’s blood be involved... It’s almost impossible to put these nonsense practice in context of the many many even more nonsense beliefs and how these practices and beliefs just ruined people’s lives. And yet they taught these beliefs with pride literally calling them god’s up to date teachings on earth. These beliefs are as close to madness as I hope to ever come in my life. I just can’t get over the kind of harm it is to be taught to figure out gods will by meditating on your feelings, and wait for the Holy Spirit to speak to you. My father also believed that it wasn’t right to do anything the Holy Spirit didn’t tell him to do and there was really no moderating the moods of a bipolar temper prone and deeply insecure man. I know that my family still is doing these and many other practices.
  4. Yeah, I’ve considered paganism. But I couldn’t get over all the nonesense. It was helpful in leaving Christianity to put time into examining another tradition though. I actually have never considered that maybe building my own philosophy and traditions around modern life wasn’t the way. Going to the movies is as much ceremony as I need in my life. Ceremony was always the part of religion that I found the most unnecessary. I dont know if I will change at some point once I have some distance and say yeah ceremony would be fun... and start.... knighting people? 🛡Cause yey ceremony. .... I guess people do civil war reinactments And LARPING
  5. “Bowling leagues and birding are sure to be taken over by the religious here... and that is exactly the issue... there is no place that people in Texas do not feel like it's ok to want to put you on their prayer chain when you have a cold, if they don't want to just lay hands on you right there and claim your healing in Jesus name.“ I’d recommend picking up a vice. Something other people don’t do. Something that’s sure to scare off the religious. Have you tried coming out as gay? Worked for me.
  6. I’ve been mulling over the organizational strength of religion and thinking about what that means for a person confronted on the street by people intent on converting them to their religion. In a lot of ways we see different levels of power as problematic in relationships and I just wonder what other people think of this idea of what it means for a person to have to respond to and or fend of the imposition of a prying religion that proselytizes.
  7. Thanks for the tips, turned 30 this year... still not there.
  8. Sounds interesting, I’m going to check it out thanks
  9. It’s a little out of my depth on the whole, but I think I pick up a lot of smaller pieces.
  10. The age of atheists: how we have sought to live since the death of god. by Peter Watson
  11. It’s funny I’ve come to appreciate how a growing number of gay guys aren’t letting Christians determine the religious narrative. This surprised me. I think there are a lot of gay guys like myself who had deeply emotional religious experiences. I just think of how many gay men must have been the writers of the Bible. Leviticus I attribute to the heterosexual men. Psalms, and so called prophetic books to the gays guys. Ive even come to appreciate that my way of interpreting the Bible heaven and hell and all else was not religious after and it took a lot of time to see that what I was experiencing was my brains amazing ability to translate meaning using the language of religious text that I had available (aka that was forced on me). As I’ve gained coping mechanisms, life experience, grown up etc... and actively taken an interest where I needed to push myself, I’ve been able to see the superstitious mythology that shrouded my sense of self and reality fall away. The only thing I regret is not having had a real parent or someone who offers you guidance through life. I’ve experienced a lot of things before I had the coping mechanisms and psychological framework and endurance to hold the weight of the tasks that life and my brain were being forced to confront. Deconversion is an extraordinary weight. When my brain can carry certain things it mythologizes them or redirects attention, among other things. This is a lot of pain, pain which forces me sometimes to abridge my aspirations while I focus on smaller things that I often don’t see as important or fulfilling, or that I sometimes see as beneath me. This makes me sad, frustrated at having been robbed by religion. It also makes me impatient sometimes.
  12. Ok, so I don’t know where this is going or why this was important to me, but it provoked some questions... I was deliverying for postmates (a part time job which sucks, and do not recommend it) and I had a delivery of alcohol. The lady who I was delivering it to texted me and asked me put it in a bag because she didn’t want her kid or kids to see. It made me curious about modeling behaviors of parents and children. I know for all sorts of reasons as a gay man kids won’t happen unless my life is really extremely well put together. So I more or less take myself out of the equation when it comes to this question at this point in my life. However since this is something that’s not on my mind often, I don’t ask myself the question of how I would behave in that circumstance. To further complicate the situation, having become an atheist allows me to step out of religious and social norms. So I was trying to put myself in the shoes of this lady and I was just blown away by how complicated such a circumstance would be for me. This idea of being one thing and then modeling other behaviors to your children was hard for me to grasp. I have questions ladies, men. Does modeling behaviors impinge on your personal development? Does modeling socially acceptable behaviors lead you to wonder why the fuck am I modeling this shit? Especially if you are surrounded by religious sorts of people. Also the lady getting the alcohol made me feel like I was supposed to be in a position to judge her and model some sort of shame or acceptance (which was by far the least desireable thing to me because it made me feel complicit in things which I don’t care about or at least havent figured out what I care about, and which I don’t want to take responsibility for —like hundreds of situations in life do at the moment—)
  13. Not cool to damn their children and friends to the same hell they create for themselves :(( But yeah.
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