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About NeverHealed52Years

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  • Birthday 06/20/1956

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    Music, Art, AstroPhysics, Color booking, Sailboat Racing, Archeology
  • More About Me
    Short Version: Have decided to look at reality and stop blaming myself God ignoring and doing nothing about my physical suffering. And find the truth. Was Severely Abused Mentally, Physically, Sexually, Emotionally by both parents and was a very Neglected Child resulting in Numerous Social/Coping, Emotional, Mental and Physical Problems: Overcame all but the Physical problems to become an intelligent, productive, contributing member of society in spite of it all by my late 20's. Fervently and sincerely100%, all-in no matter what Pursued Christianity and God. I needed help with the insane mess I didn't make but was stuck with. Especially overcoming, preventing, reversing, healing numerous physical problems that even my do all I can self care help and high quality medical help could not fix. Not one prayer answered and NO Help from God or Jesus or Holy Spirit in 52 years.


Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Not Sure Have Experienced Evil and Love Entities

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  1. NeverHealed52Years


    I am not an apologist. Question for you both, do you think people sometimes become the very thing they hate in others? He said he isn't an Apologist but couldn't deny he is Grandiose and Delusional
  2. NeverHealed52Years


    Xians like him that come here are lazy...they wont read our introductions or our testimonies or our About section of our profiles. So they have no clue about us as living, breathing, feeling people who have already been there and done that (Christianity) and have very valid reasons for setting ourselves free. If Xians like him truly cared about people (us) they would want to know and understand us. When I first found this website 12 years ago, before starting to even think about doubting and deconverting from Christianity, I read Profiles and Intros and Testimonies to learn about the people, the individuals. I still do that now, so I understand and know something about who I am conversing with His kind of Xian could care less. He hasn't read a dam thing on this website about the individuals he is conversing with and WHY they deconverted.
  3. NeverHealed52Years

    Religious experiences

    My brother-in-law was very ill. I was not even slightly close to him at all. We had zero in common and had never emotionally connected, bonded or cliqued in any way. I only saw him a few times in my life. But, when he died I felt incredible peace and joy. Not my joy, but joy of whatever, whoever: angels, spirits, someone or something's joy. And I heard beautiful harmonic sounds, singing, no words. Just beautiful sounds. It was that situation where you are not hearing sound coming into your ear. And it doesn't seem to be your brain. But you hear it. This happened before I got the phone call that he was gone. He was 3500 miles from me when he died. Same exact peace, joy, rejoicing, awesome harmonic sounds/singing, as described above, when my Mom died. But this time occurred at the same time as my intense emotional state; crying, hurting, grieving etc. And this time it was immediately after I was told she was gone. Not just before like B-in-law. This is going to sound weird, but we were going through the effort to convince the graveyard owners to allow us to bury my brother-in-laws urn of ashes in the same spot another family member was buried (it is what he wanted). So we had his urn in our home until we knew what we could do. As I was going about my day, cooking, cleaning etc. Totally not ever thinking about what was on the shelf. Not giving it a second thought. I had forgotten it was there. Often I noticed I would feel his presence when I would work in or get something from that room. I was really sad he had died but was not in any extreme intense emotions or grieving that would cause my brain to malfunction to cause this. This lasted for a month. I knew that I knew that I knew he was there. I could feel and sense him. Had what seemed to be visits from my mom and my dad a few months after they died. A couple times with mom. Once with dad. I couldn't hear or see them but could sense that they were there and that they were letting me know that they were Ok. That they were happy. I felt like they were joyful and at peace. My mom was so happy she was giddy.
  4. NeverHealed52Years

    Religious experiences

    had one 2-3 years ago..... I had just finished reading the book of Jude about beware of false teachers and doctrines of men.....thought to myself, it is all just doctrines of men, all of it. I am done with it. I slammed the bible shut (and have not opened it or read any of it since). Sat down on my floor mat to stretch. Shut my eyes only to try to relax and focus on what I was doing when I felt a presence like I have never felt before or since. It was like an incredible flow (for lack of a word that adequately describes it) of pure energy, love, very gentle. And total peace. It was right in front of me. I was afraid to open my eyes or move or even just twitch a muscle or think a thought or say anything because it might leave if I did and I didn't want it to leave, ever. I also held my breath. I wanted to but wouldn't ask it to heal me because I was concerned if I asked for anything it would leave. But, after several seconds, don't know 10, 20, 60 or ?, I had NO concept of time, but it was just long enough for me to think the thoughts (above) and contemplate what it is or could be.... so it wasn't very long. And then it was gone. Whatever it was it was in front of me, outside of me, I felt no sensations inside my body, or on my body. no increased heart rate, euphoria etc. It was totally outside of but very near me. I was wide awake, totally alert, rationally, clearly thinking before, during the visit and after. No woo or euphoria of foggy brained, nothing like that. Been to lots of big name and every other size Christian gathering, and have felt thousands of times, the warmth, peace, surge of power, electricity, euphoria, energy etc. What we were all told was and believed was the presence of one or more of the I am very familiar with the sensations from the human energy, hypnosis and trances we were put into... this experience was unlike any of those other times.
  5. NeverHealed52Years


    Ahhh yessss, the God I knew and loved ...blustering and bellowing every other verse in the OT.
  6. NeverHealed52Years

    Given your options

    Another Xian AHole who has never had a "real" problem....insensitive, cold hearted. I have met thousands of them who have NO Clue about having any kind of real or significant problems of any kind...yep while in my mothers womb, when the abuse started, I needed serious misery to humble me so I would seek and cry out to God, Oh wait unborn babies ARE capable of crying...I did cry out to God and I was obviously totally humble....? What an Ahole
  7. NeverHealed52Years


    Ok, that one is a bit strong, regrowing totally missing limbs is a difficult challenge, but why doesn't he heal or help the easier ones. Or better yet prevent/stop from needing healings/miracles!  
  8. NeverHealed52Years

    Given your options

    YOU, get the trophy for this answer!!! You go, girl! Wonderful! Blush, Blush
  9. NeverHealed52Years

    Given your options

    That's what happened to me...I bumped into this sight , IDK, 10-12 years ago, something like that. From time to time when searching for topics this sight would be in the search results and I would pop in again and read some first it made me angry or uncomfortable or ..other not positive emotions. Some of it hurt my feelings. But then I started saying, Oh yeah, you know I question, think, feel that too. Or wow that makes me nervous or scares me. But I kept reading anyway! And , well here I am deconverting.
  10. NeverHealed52Years

    Given your options

    And here we go again ..... around and around and around we go...god never speaks, never shows up in any tangible way...ever...but we are supposed to believe anyway is all our fault,.. never the no show god...blame the victim...we try harder...numb out more thoughts and feelings ...more blind faith, more self blaming and still no show, no speak, no tangible anything from god ,,,,so we repent and change and change and change and improve and improve....and still nothing ...and it is still us thinking, believing, doing something incorrectly..........we didn't believe the right thing, about the right god, at exactly the right time, in exactly the right way, on the 5th Tuesday, of the sixth month, during the correct leap year, on the correct solstice, while only wearing the exact required shade of blue, when it is a waning (not waxing) crescent moon ..what exactly is that method, formula, belief, perception, understanding, teaching and feeling to please god we didn't get right so he will actually be real? wheeeeeee, around and around and around we go!!!!
  11. NeverHealed52Years


    Debate the BibleGod? WHAT BibleGod? Oh yeah, the No Show, Do Nothing, Lazyass Biblegod!! That ONE.
  12. NeverHealed52Years


    ^^^^^^^ Ditto the above for me!!!!
  13. NeverHealed52Years

    Dear God,

    Dear God, Thanks for doing literally the opposite of every single one of my prayers. Thank you for making me and my family miserable. Thank you for giving me the desire to give up when I prayed for strength. Thank you for making me feel hopeless in a time where I needed hope the most. Thank you for ignoring me in the time I needed you the most. Thank you for nothing. You call yourself "perfect" but in reality you're less perfect than all of us. You pick favorites and leave the rest of us to suffer. Fuck you and your word. Sincerely, Your "child"
  14. NeverHealed52Years

    From Christian to Pagan

    I am just starting to take a look at Wicca, MagicK and the possibility that the trinity did all they are going to do (IF they even exist) and as some believe that we are able to heal ourselves; we just don't yet know how to trigger that power that we already have inside us. S0, after saying all that, my question is, does the statement "Since practicing the craft, I've been doing much better" include your physical health?
  15. TRUE. The three stooges and their close friend and cohort Satan ALL hated my guts no matter what I said, did, thought or felt! Xians would tell me that they never helped me or answered even one prayer because I was severely abused growing up and I had a wall I put up to protect myself and had no love in my heart. (I was raised with hate, rage, malice and violence so Yeah you think it just might take some time and some healing to LEARN to love and trust anything and anyone, Duh)The three stooges couldn't get through my emotional wall to bless and help me. They ONLY help people who have a soft loving grateful heart and attitude. My heart was to hard. WTF ? The very people who need the help the most don't get any help because the three stooges CAN'T !! Total bullshit Edit: Sorry Tinman, I know you are having an excellent intelligent discussion about Hell. But I seem to be in the stage of deconversion where just reading things hits triggers in me and the emotions come bursting out. If you want I will delete this post If I can find out how to do so.