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About MAAT5

  • Rank
  • Birthday 02/27/1958

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  • Yahoo

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  • Gender
  • Location
    Las Vegas, NV
  • Interests
    Prog Rock / Playing Music / Loving My Wife's Thighs :)
  • More About Me
    I am a African American (but would rather be considered a human) I come from a long line of family that are religious... I was baptized at a early age and remember seeing all the other boys being filled with the holy spirit... Not me though and Iv'e been doubting ever since.

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    My twist on it are my parents and past ancestors.

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  1. I don't even go to church and I am very much feeling the affects of big brother and or some outside forces that all they won't from me is to quite smoking cigarettes... so they use various methods to gas-light me and of course with subliminal messaging ie: GOD... the only reason I am conflicted is because of their constant attacks. I don't have a fucking clue on how to resolve this?
  2. It's funny you even mentioned this as I just deleted my facebook account
  3. That's exactly how I feel now... like a robot... but it is such a wonderful thing to have a place where I can come and hear you guys... It reminds me that I am a human!
  4. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT (love it) There won't be anyone at my funeral that says that I lived the life of Christ. But they will say that he was a good man, and I am better for having known him and have had him in my life.
  5. Wow... I think for the longest time I had my doubts and I sure let everybody know I was on the fence sort say... I just recently made the decision to finally say screw shame and guilt and accept the fact that I'm a Non-Believer. I can really relate to the anger and it seems for me the last 2-3 years have been a virtual roller coaster of emotions. My pattern seems to be I blow up over the littlest thing and then start feeling guilty about it afterwards... I really tally a lot of this on a lifetime of self loathing (God cannot not possible love me) I also have been digging into history and my take on it is we as humans really let the Patriarchal Societies just take over when we should have embraced Matriarchal ways of balance between the Sacred Feminine & Sacred Masculine. My problems is I got to remember the world does not revolve around me... but it seems Christian people sure revolve around me. lol Anyway I'm sure glad I found you guys.
  6. Hi Everybody, my name is Miichael I live here in Las Vegas, Nevada. I am a Navy brat and was born at Marine Core Air Station Iwakuni, Japan to a African American father & a Japanese mother. On my fathers side God has always been a big deal and my grandmother Gee Gee (Rochelle) introduced me to God for the first time at the age of 11 or 12 by having me baptized into Southern Baptist Church. Before this time my dad & mother had never even mentioned God to me. When my Dad found out that my grandmother had me baptized without him being aware of this, my Dad was pissed to say the least. My mother's belief was a form of Buddhism and their main message was World Peace. Can you imagine the turmoil when east meet west, believe me I was young but certainly felt the tension over the course of my childhood. My dad was certainly a worldly type of guy and he certainly gave me the impression that he had herd it all before being brought up in a long line of people that understandably believed especially from the affects of Slavery. Now fast forward to the present I am 60 years old with a damn near entire life of worldly activity myself O' yea most defiantly a sinner in every sense of the word. Now I'm not a total loser and there has been tremendous change as I am no longer doing those things that cause me so much grief and shame. And there we go... my extended family and even society have shunned me. When I finally realized that I was disowned thats when Gods Wrath really started to affect me. I began then to long for redemption and forgiveness not only from God but my peoples. I cannot begin to tell you how angry and isolated I am to be trying to win over God & Man but always feeling you are coming up short because you begin to feel and believe you are dammed and haunted. I so much want to put this behind me and this pain has brought me here. I have 3 children, 4 grandchildren and a wonderful wife that has stuck by me but you got to know when I go off into one of my rants about God it really affects everyone around me.
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