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Dexter last won the day on October 30 2018

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About Dexter

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    I am a recent de-convert who is trying to figure things out.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?

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  1. Not sure I could have that conversation without projecting too much emotion and intensity as my story is less of “well, I think that god is like...” and more of a desperate tearful plea begging him to stop hurting me, then realizing that the room in which I spoke was empty.
  2. I am curious to the other frequents of this forum, what is your relationship with the Bible? Or perhaps if that wording is too implicit, what is your stance on the Bible? I now find that my relationship with the Bible has become complicated. There are parts of it that are still powerful and core to my value system. 1 Corinthians 13 for example. In my own paraphrase: If I can speak in all the language of men and angels but not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I can prophecy and fathom all mysteries and possess all knowledge and even have a faith to can move mountains, but I do not have love, I am nothing. If I give everything I have, everything I am, everything I could be but I do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is: Patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud, is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs, does not delight in evil, rejoices with the truth, always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preservers and never fails. Prophecies will fail. Tongues will be silent. Knowledge will vanish. But of the things that will endure are faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these three is love. The power of this chapter in my life cannot be understated. Reciting it all from memory resonates at my very core. I believed this. I lived this. I incorporated it into my very identity. And why shouldn’t I? These were the words of my creator! There were the words of a being whose reality looked like this. And I want to live in a reality that looks like this. No matter how cliché, corny or sappy, I always cry at stories of reconciliation and reunion. And cry even harder at stories of loss and tragedy. But what to think now that the terrible thought looms over me that this passage is not, in fact, an intrinsic aspect of reality, but rather just another human’s idea of utopia? When these were the words of god, it brought me hope so deeply that this was what reality was supposed to look like. And now I face the probability that this is a fantasy and not some deep truth of the universe. Even so, to you, mysterious writer/editor who is responsible for the current version of 1 Corinthians 13, you spoke to my heart more deeply than any author in history. Or the fruits of the spirit. Love (there it is again), joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Again, another thing so very self-evident to me. Something I studied frequently and asked myself if I was employing when helping others. Or the template I’d use to evaluate my past conversations to see what I was doing wrong. I spent many many years developing my patience, which I was, arguably, the worst at. And while there are still triggers that can set me from 0 to “I want you to stop existing” almost immediately, I have learned how to keep my patience in most instances, especially with people who come from backgrounds with poor communication where the only way they learned to be heard is through shouting. Parts of the Bible are still deeply meaningful and significant to me. Much of my identity comes from it. But now, my rejection of much of Christianity, I am not sure how I feel about it anymore. God is a narcissist. Some passages are all about control. -Lean not on your own understanding Proverbs 3:5-6 -Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me John 14:1 -The Pentateuch. Just the Pentateuch. I won’t bother citing specifics or we’ll be here all day. And other examples I know you are all familiar with. These are just off the top of my head. These are parts of the Bible I can no longer abide. There are some meaningful parts of the Bible, and some rage inducing ones. I am unsure what to do with it anymore. What is your stance on the Bible?
  3. Dexter

    Religious Narcissists

    I recently saw another video just like that. Also recommend.
  4. Dexter

    Lost the joy of music

    My genre of choice is power metal so I doubt I’d have much that would interest you but there is one band that you might like. They are called Edenbridge. I recommend them because they have this curious hybrid of lyrics that sound like they could have come from a Christian band (i.e. They are irrationally optimistic and sung brightly) but they definitely have the harder edges of a good metal band. This is perhaps their most bubblegum happy song in their discography. Anyway, maybe you’ll like it. Maybe not.
  5. - Unless you are a man after god’s own heart. Then you can kill another man and take his wife for your own and add her to your harem. - god, the all-powerful, will start to melt if you are all three; a polygamist polyamorous homosexual. - goddammit! Now I have to trademark gender pronouns too? All this theocratically correct language is bullshit. Fine. He created him™, male™ and female™ he created them™. Or ze™ or sie™ or hir™ - Regardless of consent, there is to be NO consent. You are COMMANDED not to separate. Remember Matthew 7:16 when it says “You shall know them by their fruits.” If you run across anyone who even dares espouse the idea of consent, they are of the world and they have satan in them. Only when you are commanded about what you will do will you know the righteousness of god. - Another of the Ten Commandments is to remember the Sabbath and keep it holy. What day was that again? Maybe I should ask the average Christian what day the Sabbath is and whether they keep it holy. - And may her boobs always satisfy you. Proverbs 5:19 - Unchanging huh? Ever unchanging. Like in the 1830’s how the frontier women had no right to remain single? Perhaps in the 1950’s when Desi Arnaz turned Lucille Ball over his knee and spanked her like a disobedient child on national TV? Or the modern era where all are equal but a woman is to submit her consent to her husband? Of course. Forever unchanging. How could I have failed to notice. Must be the satan in me. At least there’s finally some good news in the recommended stories. This article pisses me off. Perhaps I am tipping my hand and perhaps I am about to say something controversial, even within this group, but I am in a poly relationship. And no, it wasn’t out of rebellion or desire for sinful expression. Oh no. It was you, Christianity, that taught me how to love. To love unconditionally. To love the sinner. To be reckless with my love even at my own cost. Where I errored is that I actually believed the lessons of Christianity that I was taught more than I believed in the secondary teachings of the church. I errored by trying to take these lessons of love and actually live them. To incorporate them into the very fiber of my being. And when I finally lost the fear of a sky daddy poised to strike me with his cosmic fly-swatter, I found that literally loving without condition (something that Christianity teaches but does NOT live out) I do not struggle to extend it to everyone who means so much to me. No, AiG, it’s not the sinful culture that taught me how to love. It was god. And if it truly is dangerous and destructive, then I’ll chalk it up to another scar I carry from trying to love a loving compassionate god.
  6. Whelp, time to check Facebook to make sure no one in my family is dead... *****TRIGGERED!!!!!!***** Oh, be still my heart. Let's read together shall we? Oh boy! How can god ever compete with people having sex? It's almost as those the "personal experiences" from those kinds of encounters are WAY stronger than the personal experiences the righteous have with their divine. -All things have been deemed permissible by our culture AND by Paul in 1 Corinthians 6:12 and 10:23 -"Marriage"? Oh shit! I need to start putting a trademark on that word! God is litigious as fuck. -Yes, of course. What could be wrong with those things? After all, I mean, if we are being completely honest with each other here, my boyfriend and I inviting a friend over for adultery really is about the same as raping a child. Or a dog. Or a god. Amiright? -Just ignore Exodus 10:21. And Deuteronomy 21:15-17. And Abraham. And Isaac. Jacob. David. Esau. Solomon. Elkanah. There are countless others but I'll just leave it to the chosen of god for this list. -Oh, marriage™ was a part of gods 'very good'™ plan? Sorry, but wasn't it the first married couple that forced god against his will to unleash suffering untold upon the world? How 'very good'™ ((To be continued due to file size constraints))
  7. Dexter


    I did meet Jim and Tammie’s son, Jay, at a youth conference once. Seemed a nice enough guy. He was still a preacher but kind of distanced himself from his parents ministry. He did not ask for money but he did write a book he advertised so 🤷‍♂️
  8. Dexter


    They ask for money almost as much as Ex-C! ((Yes, yes, I’ll buy you a coffee later)) I had a co-worker who had, for a time, got sucked into the Wealth and Prosperity gospel and followed a charlitan for years, giving him money. He finally had his eye-opening moment when he went to a live event with the evangelist and noticed his wife had tens of thousands in rocks hanging off her. He said that at one point the evangelist stopped speaking and said that god forbid him from saying another word until he had sold a stack of Bibles on stage for $20k per. And people rushed the stage to buy them.
  9. Dexter

    Persecution is baked in.

    Oh god, this. I’m sorry but when the hell did Trump become Christian? This is a rhetorical question but one I want to ask my former church friends so much. Ok, if you are one who loosely qualifies Christianity then perhaps that is a fair label. But just a couple years ago if you asked anyone in my church if he was a Christian they would have said absolutely not! Now he’s a righteous warrior of god??? Am I the only one whose intelligence feels genuinely insulted when Trump speaks of god?
  10. This is more a rant than a question so I am putting it here. But what is the deal with the persecution complex? It is baked to deeply into Christianity that to go through life without having been persecuted means that you were a bad Christian. Everyone in the church wants to convert the world but yet could not live in a world where everyone is converted because then there would be no one left to persecute them. Perhaps one of the most eye opening things for me when I was still amidst my Christian walk was the rare instance when someone would ask me how, precisely, I was more persecuted than they. This was once asked to me by an atheist and of course my default reaction was that he has the support of all the world (because I was the one against the world) so it was laughably absurd that an atheist could ever be persecuted. He then asked me how exactly I think it would go if he ran for public office on that platform. And of course I saw right away the arguments of most people asking how they could trust someone who believes in nothing (and even that argument as was beginning to see was fallacious). But persecution is a right of passage. It's a barrier of entry. You MUST be persecuted or you are no follower of Christ. How sad for Christianity, then, that it became so powerful. People scream persecution as the smallest things but I feel that in their hearts, even they know it's not really true. As I listen to my aunt gravely tell tales of children being throw in prison for praying in schools, I notice that she does literally nothing about it and the very next day posts about her blessings. "God Bless America and the Freedom of those who have fallen in defense of our country!" ((As a momentary aside in respects to my friend Guan who died in a freak accident while on active duty, fuck off with your blessings. It wasn't for your god that he served.)) I see my mother comparing news articles about how the government ordered some ridiculous number of rail cars and that some chain manufacturer was involved and concluding that the government was going to put Christians in rail cars and ship us off to camps. "Just like Hitler!" My pointing out that she was getting lost in the imagery and that rail would be an absolutely abysmal logistical solution in the US fell upon deaf ears. Even at work, my boss is an active Christian and he is always hesitant around me, the gay atheist. When a co-worker's mother died, my boss bought a card for the department to sign but before he handed it out to anyone, he cautiously asked me if it was offensive. The card just had some general 'sorry for your loss' platitudes and a verse from Isiah on it. My co-worker is an active church-goer. I asked how it could possibly be considered offensive (unless my co-worker was not a Christian) and my boss was just fearful that the existence of a scripture verse on anything at work would get him into trouble. There is also a Caroling Choir at work who go around in the middle of the day (when they should be working) singing hymns and carols. And the Christians in my lab are shocked whenever they sing a carol that has the word "Christmas" or "Jesus" in it. Persecution is baked in. "Facebook is trying to take down this Christian Flag! Share immediately" "What the public schools don't want your kids to hear." "It's not against the law to say Merry Christmas." "Keep Christ in Christmas!" To Christians in the United States. You are NOT persecuted. If you want to genuinely understand persecution, reach out to North Korean missionary C.Y. Kim. He'll educate you on the true reaches of persecution.
  11. Well... I may have since been to a few that are, um, pretty “dynamic” even by secular standards... but by in large, they are just casual enjoyment. Now of the more wild parties I have since attended... I apologize for nothing!
  12. Dexter

    Verses that bug you in the bible

    At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, "Who touched my clothes?" -Mark 5:30 Ok, so it didn’t bug me so much but it made everyone I was talking to about it (including the preacher present) deeply uncomfortable. It was an innocent Bible study and I said. ”That’s really interesting! So God’s power is something that he can perceive to flow and it can do so outside his knowledge. Granted, Jesus did not always seem carry the omniscience of God the Father. Presumably God the Father revealed knowledge to Jesus as appropriate. Still it’s interesting that Jesus can perceive his own power in a tangible way and not know to whom it flowed. I wonder if the triggering event for its activation was God willing it without Jesus’s knowledge or if the woman’s acts were the triggering mechanism outside of God’s direct influence, i.e. a fundamental atribute of reality itself...” I was thanked for my perspective and curiosity but told not to look too deeply into God’s power. That was not for us to understand.
  13. I am still in the closet so I haven’t felt the brunt of this yet. The joys to look forward to.
  14. Dexter

    so sick of facebook :P

    I still have facebook too and it’s mostly for three things now. 1) Reading the Navy Times 2) Trolling AiG 3) Making sure no one is hurt, sick or dead (it’s my families primary platform of communication) There is no hope for those in it. The echo chamber reverberates so loudly that nothing short of turning off FB’s server farms could interrupt it. My aunt is so deep in the echo chamber that she literally believes a child can be arrested and thrown in prison for walking into a school while holding a bible.
  15. Oof, this hit home with me. I never had things to throw out because I never let them into my life in the first place. Not secular material and certainly not friends. Now at 33 I am JUST NOW beginning to learn that “parties” aren’t evil.