PurpleLilac

Regular Member
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PurpleLilac last won the day on November 17 2018

PurpleLilac had the most liked content!

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About PurpleLilac

  • Rank
    Doubter

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    North TX
  • Interests
    People,politics,Spanish
  • More About Me
    Wife,mom of three.

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Sometimes I still talk to God,whoever that is.

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  1. PurpleLilac

    Religious experiences

    I enjoyed reading these. I remember being in the shower as a young adult and the hot water gave out (probably because we had a small well). Anyway,I cried out in frustration for more hot water and I was alarmed and surprised when hot water started up again. It’s funny to me now,but I still think about it when I step into a shower.
  2. PurpleLilac

    The holidays and how my parents visit went.

    I have also chosen to keep beliefs and non-beliefs to myself for now. I told my parents in a text before they came that my husband and I were giving our kids space to choose their own beliefs and that we love them no matter what. I also told my dad that I am “content to live in the mystery.” He wanted to know what I meant and to also have a talk that would “clear up any misconceptions”. I told him I’m an adult,I have a therapist and I simply want him and my mother to meet me where I am and respect my boundaries. He repeated the foreign words and probably has very little idea how to do either. Which is why their visit was rather lacking in conversation. The real reasons I don’t tell my inlaws and parents straight out that I’m agnostic is because I love my husband. He’s not ready and I’ve decided I’m okay with waiting for right now to “come out”.
  3. PurpleLilac

    The holidays and how my parents visit went.

    Saw this on FB and I want to shout it from my rooftop in a mess of tears.
  4. PurpleLilac

    The holidays and how my parents visit went.

    I still have a lot of anger. Sadness. All the things.
  5. PurpleLilac

    The holidays and how my parents visit went.

    I just can’t accept this. They are making a choice. As a parent,I can’t give them the out that they are brainwashed. Either their love for their children is stronger than their fear and arrogance or it’s not. And it’s not.
  6. PurpleLilac

    How Did YOU Think About Hell Back Then?

    I was taught from very young that hell is literal fire where people are suffering and screaming. I remember the terror at age five and I still feel angry my mother didn’t protect such a young child from that indoctrination bullshit. At some point,that concept didn’t feel right to me anymore and I was open to the idea that hell is a cold,dark afterlife without love (because God is love,so I reasoned). When I went to therapy last year,the concept of hell was the very first thing to go. I love and cherish my children and the doctrine of hell simply wouldn’t fit into my concept of parental love. At all. Within a month,I found ex-Xtians on YouTube and decided to love myself and my family. Which,if my mother had done that before I was born,would have spared me three decades of grief.
  7. PurpleLilac

    The holidays and how my parents visit went.

    Yes,I grieved my brothers death 11 years ago when he came out as gay and atheist. Now my parents grieve me too. Such a waste of time and life and what could be.
  8. My parents flew in before Christmas and stayed for a week. Within 10 min of walking in,my father asked my oldest child if he could lay hands on her and pray her fever would be gone. She said no,thank goodness. The visit was tense,all parties were careful to avoid religion and politics,except my dad asking my children to pray for him and their siblings. I let my parents pay for nothing. They tried to buy my husband and I for years and that’s over. They looked at houses two hours from me while they were here. I felt sick about it but said nothing. Finally, They flew back home and I sent them a text that they might want to choose another place to live because two get togethers a year is the absolute limit for my emotional and mental health (yup,I said it just like that.) I know my parents choose their god and their fundie Pentecostal religion over me. I accept that and I will do all I can to protect my kids and my family. I even made out my will to ensure my kids will never fall into their hands. I hate fucking religion.
  9. Also,the sugar content in cookies is why I’m overweight.
  10. PurpleLilac

    open question to all - can you help?

    That was horrifying and difficult to read. Maybe because I recognize it,remember it,can still taste it.
  11. Christian radio plays in the main office of my kids public elementary school. Sigh. I also have to sign a form every year to deny corporal punishment. But in spite of all that crap,it really is a good school.
  12. I thought of this thread yesterday at my new periodontist. Christian worship music was playing in the office and I felt so annoyed, luckily,the overhead light was blinking erratically and I asked for a different room with no music. This is standard fare in TX.
  13. Not really sure what to make of that. Crazy people will spend time praying about it in loud voices. Most people will roll their eyes and ignore it.
  14. Yup. Lots and lots and lots of talking to myself. And since the voices were encouraged to be Scripture (from both ends of the conversation),eventually all that I could hear was “You’re worthless”. But thanks be to progress for good therapy! The other day I was feeling anxious about something unfamiliar I needed to do and the words came unbidden “God,please help me..” and I abruptly stopped and said to myself “I can DO this! I have the skills and the intelligence and I can do this well.” And fuck yeah,I did.