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About jupiter789

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    martial arts, computer games, science, history, music, frisbee golf
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    I am a 38 year old native Kansan. I've always been a thinker, but I'm also an intense feeler. My feeling side has brought me to this website. I feel lost in a sea of delusional people! I guess I'm looking for some kind of life raft? I think I'm just here for catharsis and, maybe, to confirm I'm not the only one.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?

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  1. Fine, sorry, I didn't know that or I wouldn't have posted it. I'm an angry, hurt, isolated person right now and I thought I'd find some solace here. Guess not. It's my fault for not reading the guidelines recently. However, in light of the crap going down in America right now, I thought I'd get some sympathy. I'll leave.
  2. I haven't posted on here since before the pandemic. I keep thinking of things I want to say to you all. I'm just having a really hard time getting any of those thoughts out into the public. I'm going insane here, though. I'm so angry, I've cried, a lot, many times. My family is fucking crazy. I feel like I'm living in a twilight zone episode. It's not just my family, though, I feel surrounded by absolute morons. (I am SO GLAD, I don't live at home anymore btw.) But, I truly sympathize with all of you surrounded by fucking Republicans. I am so done with all of this. I am so so so ve
  3. Really good point! Yes, Christianity is truly a collage of older religious thought. Hinduism is, what, 4000 years ago? Christianity is less than 2000. C'mon!!!! The real mystery is how the hell they cobbled Christianity together and forced it on the masses successfully for all these years.
  4. The short answer is YES. I am so sorry for everything you are going through! Truly welcome! I hope you find comfort and more answers here! I understand being angry. My reasons or I guess, personal situation is different from yours, but I do understand the anxiety. Have you looked into the concept of Scrupulosity or Religious OCD? I'm not suggesting you have OCD - I am definitely not a medical professional. From someone who has OCD, I think you might find the information useful, though, in regards to the source of your anxiety. I also grew up in a very conservative, fundamentalist fa
  5. Hey that's pretty cool! I did about three years CRCA style Wing Chun, a year or so of Karate (I wanted to learn staff), and I used to do Tai Chi. My significant other has been training for years. He's into Aikido, Wing Chun, and general MMA style fighting. It keeps us in shape
  6. I had an experience with Mary Kay. Freaked me out. They wanted me to take out a loan to pay for the starter package since I had no income at the time. All I can say is the lady that brought me into it had such a greedy look on her face when her supervisor (or whatever) tried to get me to get the loan. I ended up agreeing just to get out of there, and then I ghosted them :). I thought it was kind of sick.
  7. Hey! I took this survey yesterday! It popped up in my Twitter feed.
  8. I convinced one of my friends that she needed to tell one of our other friends that she thought she was a lesbian. We all went to a fairly conservative protestant Christian high school. I didn't even go to school with them anymore. I went to public school my senior year. (one victory I did win with my folks, but that's another story) Needless to say, I was much more open to my friend being a lesbian than my other friend turned out to be. It ended up ruining all of our friendships and it actually got my friend in trouble with the Christian school. Good times! I seem dispassionate now beca
  9. My family still is a cult. Somehow I get to sit on the fringes. I get by with pseudo spiritual cross talk or outright deflections. Sports works every time. I think I am allowed this freedom because deep down my Dad knows he's really really wrong. That said, I've never plainly told them I don't believe anymore. I let them assume what they will. I'm terrified of the fall out if I do plainly speak out. It's not my job to save them. I had to come to terms with that realization. Don't think I quite have yet. A child shouldn't have to teach their parent.
  10. I have kept three. I have one I never open and feel I should burn from when I was a child up to early teens. I have a second one that my folks bought me when I started high school. It didn't get used nearly as much as the first - I figure by high school I was already on my way out, lol. The blank pages at the back got used to roll joints, though, in desperate uh, recreational moments during college. The other copy I have is one that contains the Apocrypha because at some point during my high school years I thought maybe the Catholics had info that I hadn't encountered yet. (They did not.
  11. Welcome!!! I hope you find comfort in our posts on this site. I remember coming on this site and reading posts well before I fully deconverted, (skulking in the background ). Last year, when I did finally come to my own very drawn out conclusion that Jesus never existed, Christianity is a man made myth, and man, himself, really really f'd things up, I joined this site. I was so angry the night that I joined! I remember freaking out because I had to wait to post (totally understand guys, I was just in the moment). It was a good thing that I did have to wait. The post I would have wrote th
  12. Yes! Well put. My Grandfather is WWII vet, Midwestern Christian, Republican. However, the actions of his lifetime would prove him a staunch moderate. He once told me "I don't know what's wrong with your Dad. I surely didn't teach him all that..." My Dad is a fundamentalist conservative that found his calling as a self-proclaimed prophet and teacher to all man kind. None of us, according to him, know better than my Dad. I'm being a bit dramatic for the sake of humor, but the mind set is truly terrifying. He'd be all about this "Last Reformation."
  13. My first inclination is to scream YES and run around the room crying "they're all complicit, they're all complicit." After I take a step back and admit that I was in fact scarred by fundamentalists I present you with this working theory: A lot of people follow the ideological/theological lead of the majority of the persons that surround them. There are a lot of Christians in the United States (I think less so? in UK - seems more secular, anyhow). The larger the number of people in one main group/religion, the greater the likelihood that fringe groups or radical factions will form
  14. Hi Fuego! I was just looking over my old posts, and I reread yours. I recently spent some time with my significant other's niece. She was raised in Texas, super conservative, too. We hadn't seen her for about 8 years or so, as a teen, she was very Christian. She's about 22ish now - still young and now AGNOSTIC. She found her truth. I have hope! (especially if they are readers, we can't help ourselves :) )
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