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About mamabear

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    recovering from falling in love with a brainwashed religious man

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    the universe

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  1. It seems like the evangelical way creates almost a kind of psychosis. There is this extreme duality, a huge gap between actions and words. And the gap is so big that it is filled with hypocrisy. In a way I’m glad i got to experience this religious brainwashing second hand and reinforce my own common sense. Common sense isn’t so common I guess.
  2. Yes, I bought a motorcycle. Hahahaha. It’s called the Holy Spirit
  3. This really makes sense to me. I am so disgusted with the evangelical pressure that his church told him about me. I’m trying to recover from all this
  4. Oh my goodness!!! Thanks for the update. Stay safe. Good move to get out of there.
  5. Chapter two of headfuckery: now he tells me he’s been watching porn. So he feels guilty and thinks our connection is sinful but he’s been lying about watching porn. Omg my brain hurts. I have a few issues with this : Lying about watching porn - I have my own issues with it that are clouding my reasonableness Blaming me for our sinful connection because he feels guilty omg !!!!!!
  6. Thank you for welcoming me into your community, even though I’m not ex-Christian, but ex-of-a-christian. that really says so much to be welcomed even though I don’t share the same beliefs and gives me hope that I can be accepted for who I am and what I believe in. I wish I could figure out how to like or react to people’s posts....
  7. That’s a very good question. I’m definitely an A but the actual head fuck is that it’s not Christ Centered....It’s just about being good, trying to be a better person and knowing my values, being a positive ripple. Spiritual and not religious. The thing that is frustrating is that I have faith and pray and all that, just not to Jesus.
  8. wow thank you for leading me here. I love your revised faith quote at the end. It's a lot to process
  9. Wow thanks everyone. We had a conversation last night, he explained that he was triggered by the kind of sex we had with things from his past like porn, strippers (it was crazy good sex) he didn’t use them but he was battling himself. He wants me to read the bible which I’m not against but he seems to think it’s this magic solution to everything. And he wants me to meet Christian people. I basically told him I don’t trust him, he needs to be single with full focus on faith and that he needs to value and respect me for who I am. I was really adamant about him thinking that if I just change everything will be ok instead of looking at himself is crazy. I left it at that really. He still wants to be with me and I just said you need to stabilize, we will see.
  10. So to be honest, I’ve been doing some serious mental negotiation - like “OK Jesus if you are real I and I’m full of sin, prove it, show yourself to me.” Maybe I have also been brainwashed. Part of me hopes he realizes what an amazing woman and connection he has thrown away and the other part does not trust his unpredictability at all
  11. I actually feel really betrayed. I felt conforted by the fact that he was religious only because he seemed to have really strong values and this huge capacity to love like I had never experienced. Now I am wondering if he was just love bombing me in the hopes that he could save me. The things is, I do believe in Jesus but I am not religious, I told him I was willing to go to church and even be baptized but I would have to choose them myself. Even after all that, all he is saying now is "there is no chance to be together without Christ" For those who are recovering Evanglists - can you help me understand this guilt ridden brainwashed mindset? I really do not understand. In his delusional state he was saying things to me like "you are saying I and me too much, that is ego" and that I have false leaders and do not know my saviour. Also I realize the way I answered about my age above makes it sound like he is a teenager, but I have a teenage son. Thank you all so much!!! Feeling the love
  12. I’m in my early 40’s with a teenager. He’s late 30’s. We are both divorced. The brainwashed side of him is such a headfuck. You are right, if he can change just from one sermon and stay stuck in that guilt induced state for days then he’s not stable. I’m still in the middle of all of it and it hurts. Reading these boards makes the most sense to me. Time and another love?!!!! Ugh.
  13. Wow I really love this community! Do you have an update about your marriage?
  14. Thank you for the support, I am having hard time understanding how someone can change overnight because of a sermon. He knew I wasn't Christian. Now he is saying "you are not christian, we are not married, we have sex, our relationship is a sinful connection" wtf??!!!!???!!!??? also apparently he had dreams about our 'sinful connection' and lost the holy spirit because of it. yyeesssshhhh
  15. I have found solace in many of the posts here and am reaching out for help. I fell in love with a very religious man, who mostly seemed tolerant of my own beliefs (spiritual and not religious). We had the most beautiful connection I have ever had with anyone and I felt safe with his values. One day after he went to a sermon he turned into a different man - said "there is no chance to be together without Christ". I feel like he is throwing away this beautiful connection because of his own guilt and because of his Church. He is evangelist. He met my whole family, we have been having sex for a while then just one day he says - our relationship is sinful and you must follow Christ or there is no chance to be together. I am still in the middle of having the rug pulled out from under me after falling for this man so hard. Please help.
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